SRS How do you tell your friend hes making a mistake?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Chris90210, Jan 13, 2006.

  1. Chris90210

    Chris90210 New Member

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    My friend last year dated this chick that over several months he ended blowing ~$5000 (cell phone, remodeled her room, ect ect) Well within that few months she started talking to her ex and eventually she broke up with him. Well he went over to her house to pickup the stuff :)rolleyes: right before this incident he was making himself sick:rolleyes: ) well they refused to give it to him so out of anger he punched her car and cracked the windshield (he grew up in an abusive home and i always tried to focus his anger elsewhere *me* to keep him in check but i wasn't around this time) well this landed him a night in the slammer, ~$700 for court fees and windshield fees and a restraining order (only applied if she told him to leave then she could call the cops. that being said she has the power to make up stuff and totally screw him over) well he kept being all puppies eyes with her saying "its not her fault" and "she still cares about me" when the whole time he was in the cop car she and her bf and his friend laughed at him. well eventually ties between the two cut for a while but he almost got in trouble again when they were both at a friends house (one sister invited the girl, other sister invited robert) well she called the cops for whatever reasons but the cops did nothing because he was there under the invite of the older sister. well she continued texting him rude stuff. She would say stuff like go to hell and tell your mom i said hi and crap like that. (prior to this his mother died of cancer and after this we have had a friend die of drowning. Last year sucked) eventually after ignoring her she left him alone... Well about half a year has past and (she has had BFs come and go screwed them then took their money) shes starting to call him again and last night i'm afraid that he may have spent the night at her house. all of my friends are clueless of what to do............ you figured he would learn his lesson but he is so stubborn that he don't want to see the truth. Do you guys have any ideas on what i should do?
     
  2. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Tell him that if he gets involved with her that he is a total moron, that he is crazy, that it disgusts you to see him behaving in such a self-destructive manner. Actually, be nicer than that. Say that it will only bring him harm. But say it once, and then get out of the way. Its his life, and his woman. There's nothing you can do but make your opinion known and then support him.
     
  3. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    Bad idea.
     
  4. Chris90210

    Chris90210 New Member

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    to be honest with you if i went to her funeral i would not shed a tear it would be just to make sure she was dead
     
  5. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    So what? She's not your woman.
     
  6. Chris90210

    Chris90210 New Member

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    (when this happened it was in high school) she starting talking crap saying "the i imposed the restraining order and other crap like that when he was in court" she tried to make me look bad but in the end she gave herself the black eye. i still hate her. she is a whore in my opionion the only difference is she doesn't recieve cash she recieves things
     
  7. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    UGH, about the only thing you can do is advise him to make him aware of the the potential consequences of the actions he seeks to make. Then it's up to him. Sometimes people need to learn the hard way. (LOTS of times, actually, LOL I know I have.)
     
  8. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    So what? She's not your woman.
     
  9. Chris90210

    Chris90210 New Member

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    well it infuriates me that my friend is stupid enough to want her. i have never talked bad about her to him or anyone those are just my opinions the whole purpose is if you have ways to tell him he is an idiot with being rude about it or making the situation worse.
     
  10. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    I had a friend that wouldn't listen to me. I wish he did.
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    If you really MUST, why not offer your opinion to him...something along the lines of "dude, that bitch is crazy".

    It's not necessary and even somewhat offensive to criticise UNASKED, another person's choice of partner/mate/gf/etc.

    Maybe she does things for him that you don't know about. Certain .... things... that even up the equation.

    Maybe his troubled past forces him to seek out women who emotionally abuse him -- most abuse victims need to perpetuate the cycle in this fashion.

    If you really feel he's making some kind of serious life threatening consequence over her (quitting his job, signing over his house, joining a cult...) then ask him about it.

    Otherwise...try and butt out. Unless he asks you. That's your cue to step in.

    But if he doesn't ask...just be a friend. Supportive. Not hyper critical.
     

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