How do you say no to a girl who wants to have sex?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by WeRdToYoMoThA, Apr 18, 2006.

  1. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    heres the background:

    I have been hanging out with this girl for a few weeks now. She had a boyfriend the whole time, so nothing happened between us, but we both knew that if there was no boyfriend involved, we would click really easily. This entire semester, her boyfriend has been at home, taking the semester off because he was sick. Because of me, the long distance thing, and a number of other problems, she broke up with him on saturday morning.

    That night, we were hanging out, and started watching a movie. No more than 10 minutes into the movie we start making out, and that's where it stops.

    Sunday morning, my roommate leaves for a week on some ROTC trip, leaving the room to myself for a week. Last night, we again start making out, etc. She wanted to get some sleep, so she left my room around 1 in the morning, but says she might surprise me in the middle of the night. She comes back at around 4 and sleeps here the rest of the night, we fool around, and she gives me head.

    I am a virgin (18), she is not (her only other sexual partner has been her ex boyfriend).

    I am not so sure I want to have sex with her just yet. I know I would like to eventually, but this is moving kind of fast for me. What do I do if she wants to have sex soon? I am taking her out to dinner tomorrow night, and then a movie in my room, and she could want to as soon as that night. What do I do if that's the case? I feel awkward telling her I don't want to just yet. Just man up and say it?


    Also, she has been keeping our relationship kind of secret. We live on the same floor, so we have the same friends, and she doesn't want everyone finding out about it yet, partially because it will cause a lot of drama, and because it will get back to her ex, who is taking their break up hard (she is a sophomore, her and her ex boyfriend lived on the same floor last year, and there are other sophomores that are friends with him, her, me, etc).


    What do i do :confused:
    Sorry for the length :o

    Cliffs: Girl might want to have sex with me sooner than I want to have sex with her.
     
  2. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Explain to her what you have written above.
    If you can't talk about sex with her, you obviously aren't ready for it anyways (no offense).
     
  3. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    ive never been in this situation so fast :hs:

    usually people dont want to have sex with me 3 days after they kissed me :squint:
     
  4. Muffin Man

    Muffin Man New Member

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    1) buy condoms
    2) put on the condom
    3) fuck quietly until your floor is asleep
    4) once everyone is asleep let her have it
     
  5. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    5) Try reading the thread and comprehending he doesn't WANT to have sex.
    Some people have morals.
     
  6. Helios

    Helios New Member

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    The hell is a moral?

    Anyways, just man up and explain to her that you dont want things to move along quite so fast. Its best to do this before you get into another sexual situation so shit doesnt get too akward.
     
  7. dguy

    dguy She smells like angels ought to smell.

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    No.
     
  8. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    You first sentence does not make any sense ;)
    My comment about morals was in regards to him not wanting to lose his virginity to someone he's only been 'seeing' for 3 days. Not everybody wants an easy girl.
     
  9. Muad

    Muad New Member

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    :werd: Much better off talking to her about it, rather than deny her in the heat of the moment. She may or may not appreciate it, but if your in it for more than just sex, if she doesn't like it then she's probably not the right one for you anyway.
     
  10. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Just tell her and explain the situation :dunno: I have been there several times before and its alot worse if you DONT explain things. She starts to assume things, either that you are gay or that she isnt good enough for you (this is really bad around pms time). Be honest and upfront and if she is worth a damn, she will understand your decision.
     
  11. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :eek4: :rofl:
     
  12. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    :mamoru: This is so true!:o (the whole post, not just the highlighted part)
     
  13. jab1983

    jab1983 40/40 crew failure with less than 1 week to go...D

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    When i was a virgin I made my ex wait for it:mamoru:

    Tell her your a virgin and that for now you want to keep things where they are (keep kissing her and fooling around) but that when you do have sex with her you want to make it special and get a nice hotel room and all that crap.

    She as a girl will be flattered that you want to make it special. that will buy you another 2 weeks.

    A word of caution after 2 weeks of fooling around she will start getting frustrated that you are not giving the dick.
     
  14. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    she already knows im a virgin :dunno: but even 2 weeks isn't really long enough. i was hoping for something around 2-3 months :o

    i was gonna go visit her during the summer (she is from seattle, im from CO), and maybe have it happen then.
     
  15. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Do what you want. It is YOUR viriginity and you shouldn't feel pressured into giving it up if you don't want to (seems odd saying this to a man).
     
  16. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    :werd: i feel like a bitch for thinking this :o
     
  17. Riot

    Riot OT Supporter

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    if you want to, then go ahead. they're no longer together and you're not breaking any rules.

    if it'll bother you, and you'll beat yourself up about it, then don't
     
  18. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    She is a girl. She has a dirty side. She just broke up with the only man she had sex with, and she wants something new.

    There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to have sex right away. It doesn't make you any less of a man, and a woman will love and appreciate the fact that you haven't whored yourself around like most men do.

    But, this girl wants a man. If you tell her "I'm just not ready for this yet." --- then it sounds like you are scared or nervous about something. At least communicate some confidence with her and put some value on what you have saved for all these years. Let her know that SHE has to earn it. Ask her what makes he worth you giving up YOUR virginity (not literally, but you get the idea.)

    If you sound like a little boy saying "I'm just not ready for this yet", she is going to go find a man who is ready.

    It will drive her NUTS wanting to be the girl to earn the honor of taking your virginity, and if you do it right, she stick around.
     
  19. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    im pretty sure she isnt just gonna leave if i tell her i dont want to have sex with her right now. she knows im a virgin, and she knows i didnt lose my virginity to my ex because i didnt want to, not because the opportunity didnt present itself. so that tells her that i pout some value on it.
     
  20. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Then you've got a great girl if she sticks around!

    Keep it up!
     
  21. beckington

    beckington New Member

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    ok.

    so if you have vaginal sex with her...you will be losing your virignity? Correct.

    what about tossing it in her ass? To me thats not the same thing.

    some people consider oral sex, losing their virignity.

    just convince yourself, you lost it, the first time you got head.

    done.
     
  22. PostingWorld

    PostingWorld Da Man with da plan

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    Don't necessaryly cut her off but make her wait for it, make her want it so bad she can't stand it.
     
  23. almostnormal

    almostnormal OT Supporter

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    Kind of hard to stop now, you have made out with her, and gotten some head.


    You're certainly giving her mixed messages.

    Probably just telling her the truth about how you feel is the best option.

    She will probably be pissed though.
     
  24. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    well i told her how it was with my ex gf. she knew i hadnt had sex before, but while we were making out, she asked me how far i had gotten, and i told her i had done everything except sex. so because of that, im sure she understands that oral is the cut off for me.

    this isnt me saying that i never want to have sex with her, its me saying that i want to wait a few weeks at least :dunno:

    now that my roommate is back it should be easier.
     
  25. almostnormal

    almostnormal OT Supporter

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    When you're in the old folks home, sitting there in your chair, drooling and wearing a diaper... Do you want to be thinking about the pretty babes you could have banged but didn't?
     

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