SRS How do you let your significant other know that you're falling HARD for her?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by The Green Bastard, Jun 18, 2006.

  1. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    My gf and I have been seeing each other since mid Feb. We don't get to see each other as often as we'd like, (Stupid LDR, 1 hr away...I see her 2-3 nights a week, but if I can, I'm getting a job closer to her).

    But my feelings for her are REALLY strong. ANd I can tell by how close we are when we're together, she really cares about me too.

    I'm really a shy guy, and don't know how to convey HOW strongly I feel for her in words.

    :hs: Any ideas?
     
  2. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    Theres no reason to tell her. She probably already has a good idea of how you feel when you spend time with her.

    Part of attraction is anticipation. Telling her that you are so in love with her that in your eyes she can do no wrong will ruin that anticipation and lessen the attraction. She probably wants someone who is an equal, not someone who will worship her. And if she's already into you then you're doing something right, no need to change that by acting like a wuss and letting her take you for granted.

    I might be completely off here, but from what I've seen the second one person confesses their undying love to another person the relationship starts to fall apart. And it makes sense because most people don't want someone they respect and love to start worshipping them. There has to be a push and pull and proper boundries need to be in place. Women in particular are more attracted to higher status males that can handle their own emotion and don't proffess their love to the first person that gives them attention.
     
  3. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    They say actions speak louder then words but in my experience women NEED words. I have found a great deal of satisfaction by looking my lover in the eyes and telling her exactly how I feel. It's scary...no question about it because I'm usually afraid she doesn't feel the same or will get spooked or laugh. That's why, context is important.

    Don't just rush in and spew all your love. Wait for the right romantic moment to tell her. Cook her dinner or do something special for her and at some point you may feel the time is right. Sometimes the night it going so well, I have to say....hang on...I really need to tell you something.

    I have never regretted EVER doing this. Because if a woman will run away or judge me for being open and honest about my feelings, then I don't want ot be with her anyways. I don't care how hot she is...and I've dated some hot women. But if they can't hang with open and honest communication and they don't treat my emotions gently then I usually start looking for another one.

    My mom always told me to remember that guys fall in love with what they see and women fall in love with what they hear. It's been my experience that this is true.
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I actually disagree with this. In my experience this has been true of young love...early 20s and younger type love. However, this has not held true as I've grown older. Older women need to hear the words.
     
  5. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Holy Dodle....it seems that The Green Bastard has been wounded by one of Cupid's arrows...and it's about time.
    The best advice I can give you Sweetie, is to just be totally 100% honest at all times, regardless of age or circumstance.
    Hope for the best and expect the worst (and I sincerely hope the best for you).

    :) Sending good thoughts your way.
     
  6. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    :) We REALLY miss each other the days we're not together. ANd when we do get together, we hold onto each other, cuddle, snuggle, etc. And when she falls asleep in my arms, she told me she feels SO comfy with that. Even the first night we slept together, she was SO comfy, and we snuggled each other asleep.:)
     
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Awww damn it...you're making me want another g/f now. I was hoping to make it till graduation before getting in another relationship.
     
  8. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    :)
     
  9. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I feel the same way as you do about my girlfriend. I wish I could be with her more but we live an hr apart and our schedules are different. I work days, she works nights (for now, she starts a new job this week where she will be workin 12hr days)

    My girlfriend told me that something similar to what you said this weekend too. She said she's always felt weird when cuddling but when she's with me she doesn't. She told me I am her other half. I felt so damn happy when she said that because thats how I feel about her too. My girlfriend has a lot of things in her past that she put up a lot of walls and stuff and she said I am slowly being the one to let her bring those walls down.

    I think you should just tell her how you feel because thats what I did...I wrote down everything about how I felt and I gave it to her in a letter and let her read it and I almost made her cry after she read it....
     
  10. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    We lead startlingly similar lives relationship-wise. We live an hour apart, I work 6 days a week, 8-5, she works 12 hr shifts, usually backshifts, usually weekends. Our schedules clash, but we TRY to make time to see each other as often as possible.
    I like the writing everything down idea. That's really sweet.
     
  11. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Wow...I work 5days a week, 9-6, and like I said she'll be doin the 12hr thing but hopefully she will have weekends off. If she doesn't...I don't know what I'm going to do. Only difference is my girlfriend has a little daughter who I love just as much.

    I posted half of the letter here once and some people bashed me for it. After that I went back and edited it and added romantic things that made more sense instead of the analogies I used.

    BTW, thats what my girlfriend said too...That i am sweet. She's been sayin that from the beginning though, I think.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2006
  12. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    My gf has a 6 year old daughter. :eek3:
     
  13. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    :eek3: My gf's daughter is 1 yr old.

    How are you with the daughter??
     
  14. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    "I am falling HARD for you."

    or maybe...

    "I am falling HARD for you. Fancy a blow?"

    depends on your style.
     
  15. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    I only got introduced to her recently. I think the gf was basically waiting to see how WE'D work out before letting me meet her. And, we hit it off great! She took to me so quickly, and she's such a cute, silly little girl. And she's the spitting image of her mom. :) With our schedules, by the time I get showered, shave, hit the road and get to her place, the lil one is already in bed, but I hope to get to spend more time with her soon. :)
     
  16. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    :mamoru:
     
  17. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    I was thinking more along the lines of:

    "I am falling HARD for you, real HARD...just look." :eek3: *points to tented crotch*
     
  18. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Oooooh I dig your man style, grasshopper.
     
  19. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    I never need to point it out...she KNOWS.
     
  20. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    You don't. Your actions tell her all of that and it's more meaningful that way. Just as you said you know she cares for you by her actions, she likewise knows. There is no reason to double up and tell her as well. Something tells me that you already tell her how you feel and compliment her. Why overwhelm her with more? You're fine. Relax.
     
  21. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    :hs:
     
  22. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I disagree...but then I've already explained why above.
     
  23. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I read your post and I don't disagree that it is nice to tell your woman you love her, but I don't see that as being the question here. If I know Green Bastard from his posts, he actually tells her he loves her or at least that he cares about her plenty already. I'm thinking (based on GB's other posts) that he wants to basically spill his beans and tell her that she is the greatest thing since sliced bread and how he doesn't know what he would do without her. That's taking it overboard and puts you in a position where you are admitting that you "need" someone to be happy. That's unhealthy, for both the person saying that and the relationship as a whole. A healthy person doesn't need outside sources to be happy and to admit such shows how weak of a person you may be. Admitting something like that to a female partner has catastrophic consequences far more often than not. A woman wants a man as a partner, not a child.

    So I stand by my post. If you want to blow your load with the gushy extreme stuff, don't do it. She will know how much you care for her by your actions. If youa re asking how to tell her that you love her... that's far more simple. As long as you don't over load it and simply leave it as a romantic moment where you say, "I'm in love with you" then you should be fine. But as I said, you've struck me as the person who has already taken that step, which is why I took this post as meaning you wanted to go further.
     
  24. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    I know FAR TOO WELL not to go overboard any more.

    :hs:


    And those are the three words that are on the tip of my tongue when I'm with her.
     
  25. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Well... I agree with DigDog's assessment. If you really have to talk about something...ask her about "the future".

    Though, that might be even scarier than telling her you're falling hard for her (doubtless she knows or suspects already)
     

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