How do you initiate FWB?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Dec 20, 2006.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Do you establish it BEFORE you do anything, like a business agreement?

    Or do you wait until AFTER it's happened and say "yeah, I don't want a relationship, but let's keep doing that"?

    The only "FWB" relationship I've ever had was basically us hooking up once a week or so. We weren't seeing other people, but we weren't dating, either. She'd come over, we'd watch a movie, drink, eat, bang, repeat. After a few months, she dropped a "so what is going on with us?" question. I made up some excuse about "oh i don't have time for a relationship right now" (translation: I don't like you like that), and we ended it after she wanted goodbye sex :mamoru: This same process repeated (with the same girl) 2 years later, except it only lasted for 2 weeks. She eventually emailed me with a "I guess I'll never be the kind of person to spark your interest.." type of email and we haven't talked in a while.

    She's good in bed but for whatever reason I don't feel the "spark" with her. Part of me wants to go back to FWB with her, but the good, moral part of me doesn't want to use her because she's one of the sweetest people I've ever met and I don't want to hurt her. It kind of sucks that I don't feel the spark with her, cuz I know she'd be a trustworthy gf and a good wife.

    Holy shit this post got too long.

    Let's discuss proper FWB procedures.
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I'd recommend staying away from FWB. One of you will get attached, then when the other finds someone they actually want to be with, you'll just be hurt.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I know, that happened last time. And it's fvcked up cuz after I rejected HER, I went through a week period where I missed her so bad. My brain was like "dude wtf is going on?" even tho logically I knew that I didn't want a relationship with her.

    But she got attached first and pressed for a relationship, I said no, and she started dating this other dude (for 2 years, then we hooked up again, hehe).
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    so wouldn't your experiences steer you away from FWB?
     
  5. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I wouldn't do it any more, but when I did I just told her up front, straight out, "I'm not looking for anything serious." Never talked about it any more than that. Some women went for it, others went for it hoping to change me, and others bailed.
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Yeah, you would think...

    Poco -- upfront and direct. <Borat> I like </Borat>
     
  7. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Yeah, women with low self-esteem will have sex thinking that it will make the guy love them. My ex did that with another guy. While we were together.
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Once the sexual relationship is established, continually communicate to her that you are a free man and intend to stay that way

    Whats the best way to communicate? Through your actions, of course.

    If you are dating other women when you meet her and you continue dating other women, that goes a long way. Also limit your time together to purely sexual encounters.

    Otherwise, don't get involved in conversations about your status unless you are reaffirming your free agent status.
     
  9. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i dont think people ever really discuss status in such a situation....you just are, and leave it as until someone breaks it off.


    as said, you communicate through actions, not words.
     
  10. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    I went the upfront and direct route, and the FWB situation lasted almost 2 years.
     
  11. giapia

    giapia Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you re

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    my last fwb is now my current SO and i lover him :love:
     
  12. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I pretty much do it the way Poco does too.

    For a reason I haven't figured out yet, usually my FWB's are girls who just got done being involved with one of my friends.

    They harbor those attractions for you while they are with the person (if you're a cool guy), and since you're forbidden, it's even stronger.

    As soon as they are done, myspace her! Just say "hey whatsup... blah blah blah .... lets hang out".

    Always ask your friends first if its okay, unless you don't want to have friends anymore. Me and buddy, who is a natural at getting girls, usually meet girls seperately, and if things don't work out, we hook each other up with our old girls. It works out, because him and I have such a different style of game, so the girl isn't getting the same guy twice.
     

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