SRS How do you help a friend through a divorce?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Spiral Out, Jul 26, 2005.

  1. Spiral Out

    Spiral Out Active Member

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    This is the first divorce I have helped a friend through. Bascially his wife went psycho on him. He does not know what he did wrong and has suggested counseling but she doesn't say a word. He has talked, at length, to both my sister and I about everything. I call every couple of days to see how he is doing and listen. We have both (my sister and I) offered to be character witnesses at his divorce hearing (if there is one). Is there anything else I can do? I live about 1200 miles away...
     
  2. ffunderfire

    ffunderfire New Member

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    Just be a good friend to him. Be someone he can talk to. I went through the SAME situation last year. Just having friends around during my down times helped a lot. They would reassure that everything would be alright. Life goes on. Many women out there that would love him even more.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Phone regularly. Split the calling, half you call, half he calls.

    Email too. Encourage him to write emails. Long ones if necessary. You don't necessarily have to read all of it. Just the act of writing it down will be very good for him.

    Lastly, really encourage him to go to counselling. He needs a couple of things from a counselor.

    First, he needs help to deal with the breakup and loss of his relationship.
    Plus, he also needs to educate himself on relationship and emotional matters.

    His wife did not really go "psycho" -- not literally anyways. Her actions may have seemed abrupt and out of character, but that's because he was unable to pick up or understand the situation their marriage was in.

    This will save him a lot of pain and heartache in the future, if another relationship starts to drift away again. You need to know how to steer the ship back on course.

    Or at least be able to know what's up, instead of being oblivious, which leads to waking up one day thinking "what the hell just happened? I thought we were fine...my wife must be psycho."

    And since the breakup is fresh, he'll have a million burning questions, and will be well-motivated to do the work necessary to think and grow and understand.

    But for your part...just be available to him. You don't need to see him personally, given the distance. Just be there on the end of the phone.

    This is the bulk of the work, the emotional healing and growth portion.
    The legal portion...leave that to the lawyers.
     
  4. WPInerd

    WPInerd New Member

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    be there for him when he needs you
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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