How do you deal with Jealousy??

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by mel my finger, Aug 1, 2005.

  1. mel my finger

    mel my finger New Member

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    Such a cliche situation but it happens...

    Your SO was cheated on in the past. Your SO is extremely insecure and asks/implies that you stop hanging around all people of the opposite sex.

    What do you do?
     
  2. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    As one can see from my other post, I'm looking at that from the other side. I haven't asked her to cut off all contact from friends and would never do so, as it just isn't fair. On the other hand suspicion and doubt are terribly hard things to get over.

    I wish I had an answer for this too.

    As for your post, as I said, it is really unfair to cut an SO off from friends. I admit I'm the jealous/insecure type, and there are degrees of restraint I need to feel comfortable, but that's over the line.
     
  3. prodigy33

    prodigy33 New Member

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    they cant make you stop hanging out witht the opposite sex, then you will start hating them. for me if it botherd my SO then i would stop hanging out with certain people, but thats the relationship im in and what i would be willing to do without him asking me to. but when i start feeling jealous for any reason i talk to him about it and afterwards feel a lot better about it. but i would never make him pick.
     
  4. NJGuy

    NJGuy "Fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmef uckmefuckmefuckmefuckm OT Supporter

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    Dont let some lame ass chick fuck your head up for everyone else.
    Whats the worse that can happen, This girl cheats on you? Then you have to dump her and find a new girl. Life goes on. Dont let what could happen fuck up the good shit that is currently happening. Know what i mean?

    Would be like walkign around your whole life afraid of dieing. Pointless.
     
  5. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    a guy's never asked me to do such a thing before. i haven't ran across a guy that was so insanely jealous. :dunno: who knows, maybe i possess this aura that tells them to stear clear of me because they're not going to get their way in regards to the situation.

    honestly, if a guy that i was dating told me not to hang out with my male friends anymore (which, btw, outnumber my female friends here), i'd politely tell them that i'm sorry they feel that way... and the relationship would be over.

    i'm many things in life, but the one thing i'm not is a hypocrite. i've lost a few friends the same way when their girlfriends thought that it was too risky for them to hang out with me anymore. :rolleyes: ... anyways... the golden rule works here as well: "do unto others as you would have done unto you."
     
  6. mel my finger

    mel my finger New Member

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    its actually not about me....its about a really really close friend of mine that is dealing with this with her bf. i've never been in a real relationship so my credibility on the issue is null...which is why i'm turning to you guys.

    that's what i've always believed too...but apparently its easier said than done. i feel bad for my friend cuz her bf is really stubborn on the subject...he's really really pushing for her to change who she hangs out with. (i'd like to note that he's not saying this straight up, he's just heavily implying this without actually saying the words).

    and its not necessarily about just certain guys she hangs out with...its ALL guys that she meets (although guys that she's already close to, like me, its ok).
     
  7. Intellex

    Intellex Dogs love me cause I'm crazy sniffable OT Supporter

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    Close to home.

    I reassure when I can, get upset when she pushes the line too far, try and show her that she's the one that wins, never lie.

    It seems to be working :x:
     
  8. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    My ex was insanely stupidly jealous. Even with his male friends. I was young and stupid and thought that one day he would snap out of it and realise that he had no reason to be. He never did and I only made it worse. It got to a point where it was easier to give in to his jealousy than fight it. It eventually destroyed our relationship. My advice is don't just start giving in and letting them get away with it. Stand your ground.



    Unless you are one of those girls who only have male friends and feeds off the attention you get from men etc I hate girls that do this shit and flirt with guys and then go crying that their boyfriends are too jealous.



    Treat them the way you wish to be treated. If you don't do anything with the opposite sex that you wouldn't mind you’re SO doing then there shouldn't be a problem.


    This was years ago. I am now I am in a mature well balanced relationship with someone who trusts me. I haven't been happier.
     
  9. silver98camss

    silver98camss New Member

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    sorry to bring back an old thread but going through similar right now. I'm very jealous. I have been cheated on in the past and I guess I am just very suspicious. My current GF of a yr has been talking to guys more and more on line and now she's calling them and they are calling her, except she is lying to me about who she is talking to.. It always "that friend" ot "this friend" but the phone numbers don't match up. Then there is the phone calls that.." I don't know that number" So they leave a message and its a guy calling and all i can hear is " hey #####" whats up then she leaves the room or starts walking way. She lied to me last night about who she was talking to. i don't think she has done anything with anyone, but the thought is in my head... I love her and don't want to lose her but I already screwed up by flipping out about this another time. She and I are on very rocky relationship territory. Do i just wait untill I get some hard evidence? do say anything? or do i just get over the jealousy and wait for her to really screw up? ty
     
  10. symptic

    symptic I run companies

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    Take your SO with you to let them know how you behave around these people, asusmign you act the same in front of everyone. Then once comfortable, you can do it without them. :dunno:
     
  11. okita1

    okita1 Great spirits have always encountered violent oppo

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    umm, why is she lying to you about who she is talking to?
    sounds fishy to me, but you know what, no matter how jealous you get, she can cheat on you no matter what you say/do
    just let it go or find someone that doesnt pull this shit.
     
  12. low20

    low20 Member

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    gez, im going through the same shit right now with my gf. i dont know f im a jealous person or just a very un-trusting person. I was cheated on in my past relationship which i think really scarred me. i was never like the way i am now before that. now see so many crappy qualities of myself come out, and its killing my curent relationship which was great. my gf only really hangs out with 1 other guy, on 1 on 1 terms cuz they used to be best friends. it bugs me somehow but i know nothing would ever come of it. my gf has NEVER doneanything to me to make me not trust her. my biggest fear is alcohol. when she drinks she gets hyper and stuff, not flirty, but she does things that jst make me mad. i guess my biggest problem is that i dont trust the effects of alcohol. i dont know how to over come that. if i am with her its not so bad tho if shes drunk i usually get reemed out fo something which is another factor of it. if shes not drinking, it makes my mind a lot more at ease when shes with her friends. if she is drinking i get all paranoid and call her to check up and when she doesnt pick up i start getting really really antsy. AH, i hate this shit.
     

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