how do you "date" but not get "involved"?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by black jesus, Mar 9, 2008.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I've always known what I wanted. If I find a woman I like, I go for it, if I don't like her, I don't date her anymore. I don't use place-holders and wait around until something better comes along. Any thoughts on this?
     
  2. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I am confused. Can you clarify the question that is your thread title?
     
  3. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Involved means relationship. Its either on or off for me. I don't understand the place-holder concept of keeping someone around when you don't really want that person around. Essentially going out and spending time together over and over, but she says she doesn't want a relationship with him.
     
  4. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    this is all very weird and structured.

    let me get this straight

    you start feeling something for someone

    you respond to that feeling by setting up terms and agreements around that feeling

    and you want to know how not to do that?
     
  5. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I've wondered this as well. I'm single now, and I want to go on dates and have sex, but I don't want to get seriously involved with anyone. I'm not sure how to keep things from moving on to that next step..
     
  6. althepirate

    althepirate Talk nerdy to me.

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    Well one way is to let them know straight up you don't want anything past casual.
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    yeah, the girl i'm in love with right now, i mentioned i wasn't looking to settle.

    just tell her.

    "i don't like the idea of monogamy-by-default"

    or whatever it is you don't like.
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    There are plenty of guys out there who will date and fuck you without giving you a committment. As a girl, this won't be a problem for you.

    As far as girls are concerned, they are more likely to want to take it somewhere.
     
  9. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I'm just as concerned about letting myself get involved as I am about them.
     
  10. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Why don't you just take a break for a while?

    Learning to make it on your own will make you stronger, help you grow, and maybe teach you why you are letting certain types of men in your life.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Celibacy out the window?
     
  12. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    my buddy's wife showed up today, who's been cheating on him, and wanted me to bang her with a mutual friend. I told her "tell chris (her husband) to ask for a divorce tomorrow before I tell him."
     
  13. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I don't get that. Just sit at home and whack off. Seriously.
     
  14. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    It's just a simple mindset, or at least that's what I've found :dunno: Have the mindset of, basically, not caring and you're set. You're just intending to have fun with no strings, so keep it that way. If you think feelings are coming into it, abort.
     
  15. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Holy crap :eek3:

    edit: Well done on being a good friend.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm clapping right now. Much love for you, seriously.
     
  17. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    we ain't got no love for hos.
     
  18. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Thinking about it.
     
  19. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I want to snuggle :wtc:
     
  20. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I think I will. I'm taking some time off for a bit, as viper said.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I'm dubious. Are you actually concerned that you would start having feelings? That seems like a very odd concern to me. I would be more concerned about them having feelings if I knew I wasn't "looking for" involvement
     
  22. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Yeah.I've really decided to just give it a rest for awhile. I cant to FWB anymore. don't know why, but last time I did I hated it at the end and still feel weird looking back on it. I would want to date, possibly have sex, but not let the relationship get serious. I would be concerned both about them developing feelings I didn't share, b/c thats a horrible feeling, or about me getting into a relationship 'on accident' which i've done before. I'm moving away for law school before too long, and i dont want a relationship for my own reasons as well.
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    ok, so you're not concerned about you having feelings, you're concerned about either

    a. them having feelings
    b. implicit structured agreements

    I feel like being explicit about what you want and, especially, having more than 1 around at a time, would solve these problems.
     
  24. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I used to think the same way, but not having many options, I ran out of warm bodies real quick.
     

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