how do you avoid "friendship love"?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Gibles, Jun 9, 2009.

  1. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    I hope I can catch it before it gets worse. I had this problem with my previous relationship where when I finally got comfortable being myself around my SO it turns into a "friendship love" so to speak. I have the dreaded feeling it's happening again right now. My current gf told me she just hasn't been into sex lately and she doesn't know why. We've had sex, and she's gotten into it while it was happening, just not before it. Over the weekend we stayed overnight in a hotel for her sister's wedding and had sex, but it was horrible. She was obviously not into it but I think a lot of it was my fault because I skimped on the foreplay. She's been distant ever since. What the hell do I do? Is this repairable?
     
  2. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Would you say you fuck her, or "make love" to her?

    And why did you skimp on the foreplay? That's an important part...
     
  3. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    You just admitted to having a shitty sex life and you are part of that reason.

    Change something. Spice it up. Make it enjoyable.
     
  4. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I few times Ive stretched foreplay out till i was bored to tears. I honestly assumed that despite the noises she was making, she must be bored too.... then the legs spasming gasping for breath eyes losing focus orgasms started.

    don't skimp on the foreplay.
     
  5. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    I don't usually skimp. She usually gets off before we even get to the deed. The sex has been great up until exactly a month ago when I notice, even with foreplay, that she just wasn't into it as she has been.
     
  6. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I think the real question is: How long have you been together?
     
  7. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Have you bothered asking her what she wants?
     
  8. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    Or it could be that maybe she just doesn't enjoy it as much as you do? She seems to do it to please you. Maybe talking with her about it?
     
  9. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Sounds like you're falling into a routine of false comforts and complacence.
     
  10. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    perhaps
    this question is less about the sex and more about avoiding the pitfalls of "friendship" love
    the sex in the last month is a result of what I call "friendship" love
    we've been together for 8 months
     
  11. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    So for the first 6 months or so things were exciting and passionate then it started to decline into "friendship", right? Welcome to the world of Long Term Dating.
     
  12. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    I have come to the realization that I haven't stayed a "challenge". What are some good tips to do that?

    I've felt constantly challenged by her because she's done so much and experienced much more than I have. Which is the reason I'm trying so hard to improve the situation. How do I teach/challenge her so I become more valuable?
     
  13. haargerman

    haargerman ayuh.

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    Gotta make sure you both have your own lives outside of the relationship.
     
  14. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    are you unattractive?
     
  15. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    that's subjective

    most would say no though
     
  16. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    bingo
    have you experienced this first hand? what did you do?
    I had a great single life before her, constantly busy. I met her and was totally taken away without realizing it. That was good and bad because since I've been with her I've rid my life of things that were holding me down. I live in a small town with many simple minded people and it's started to change me in ways I hate. I hate how the economy can dictate this aspect of lives.
     

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