Discussion in 'On Topic' started by el es dee, Feb 19, 2006.
i have no clue what to say to this guy, hes not like an emo kid or anything
how close are you to him?
if your close, play a little reverse psychology. go to HIM and say YOUR depressed and have been thinking about cutting yourself. then he might say he is, and you can bust him and get him help.
if your not close to him, just be like "you cut?"
dont people just deny it and make up excuses about that stuff? im not particularly close to him but my friends are so i think they can help
well, there are only so many things you can blame slices on his wrists on. either a cat or a knife....
i would just flat out ask him
He is cutting himself for a reason, find out the reason and talk with him about it. the cutting is just an outward expression of something that is going on inside him as I'm sure you know. You can talk with him about stopping the cutting, but he wont stop until something changes the way he feels about the original problem. Also drinking is the worst thing for cutting, if you drink alot, you get much more depressed and you lose inhibitions for suicide/hurting yourself. This is why they don't give prozac to people who are really really depressed and/or violent, because it does the same thing.
Long story short find out why he is doing it before talking to him about the cutting. Then deal with the cutting. try and keep him from boozing too much.
I used to cut and the one thing i always wanted people to ask me is just normal stuff like "hows your day?" and so on.... cutting is just an outword exprission of inword things..... proly why he is not that emo.......
to me people who cut themselves are attention whores. dunno, just seems that way.
You walk up to them and say "bitch! you keep hurting yourself and ah swear, I'm gonna kick yer ass!!!!" . that should do it.
i dont think so. some people maybe. i was (and still am) embarassed about the cuts/scars. i always did it where it wouldnt show. i did it high up on my arm where nobody could see as long as i was wearing a shirt. i dont do it anymore though.
The worst thing you can do is keep prying. If he wants to open up to you, he will. If he makes up excuses, that means he doesn't want to. Cutting is physical pain that covers up emotional pain. Another thing to keep in mind if that if you let him open up to you, you better be there for him because letting him tell you his problems, and then dropping out, is going to hurt make it a lot worse. Like you pretended to care when you didn't.
be prepared for a lie, btw.
first off, I wouldn't suggest flat out asking him (it may work for some, but not all). I'd hint around the bush
ask him if he's having in trouble in his life, any problems, anger, etc.
if he answers yes to any of them, try to help him solve those problems
if you still suspect that he's cutting, ask him has he ever "hurt himself" and mention cutting. tell him that he' isn't crazy and stupid if he does, but that you're there for him and you don't want to him to hurt himself anymore. from there, try to get him to see someone, a counselor, ex-cutter even or someone who has previously self-mutilated
people who cut (those who are true cutters) hide their scars/emotions very well and no one would speculate that they'd cut. so if you see scars or hear him mention something about it, he wants to get caught because he wants help.
to me, cutters are just like alcoholics, they won't quit until something major happens to themselves
self mutilation has the same frame work as addictions to chemicals, your friend is prob depressed, to what degree it's hard to know. if you say anything be gentle and as honest as you can be, you dont have to have all the answers, just let em know you know or suspect, and your their friend. self mute is a destructive way to deal with or express how people feel, if they want to change, they need some info, tons on the web, support, but ultimately willingness to address the issue.
my daughter went through it, she had a rough patch round 11-13, she came through ok, a hellofa lotta young girls do it.
also when i was in drug rehab, a girl who became a close friend had shockingly scared arms, over the next year or so i came to understand she was very i'll, she was diagnosed with 'temporal lobe epilepsy', through her i really came to see how complex the brain and emotional responses are.