How do people end up alone?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by BradUF, Dec 31, 2006.

  1. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I know I have been making a fair amount of posts lately but alot has been on my mind. What happens in a persons life where they end up being alone and never married fairly late in life? It seems back in the day when our parents were growing up everyone was married by early 20's, right after college. Now it seems you have alot of older singles running around. Nothing wrong with being single but I think most people or maybe just me wants to be married and have a house in my 30's. Also, I have talked to this girl whois longest relationship was 4 months and she is 24. It seems like no one really wants to settle down anymore. So how does it happen? Is there just not a special someone for everyone in the world? Are some people just losers? The people who end up alone just expect super hot girl and nothing less? Everyday I feel like I should have got married when I had the chance and settle down even though I am young because I might not have another chance. It just scares me that I could be unmarried at 30.
     
  2. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    there used to be alot more pressure on men and women to get married young. women who didn't marry by 28-30 turned into "spinsters". and pre-marital sex was a no no, so guys were always trying to get laid asap. at least thats how i figure it.


    these days women and men find less pressure to get married extremely young. though some people are just socially awkward, like in 40 year old virgin, and give up trying to have a healthy relationship/sex life.
     
  3. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Todays society has different priorities.
     
  4. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    That's probably the most pointient asnwer for a question like this.

    I think, there is also too much pressure from parents now adays to constantly "do better", this could apply to anything, school, employment, etc, that makes relationships take a back seat to these goals, or better person to be in a relationship with, 'your current SO isn't good enough for you, do better'.
    All of this constantly looking for the next better thing, has people jumping from relationship to relationship, since they seem to believe that the next one will be better, and the next one after that will be better, when tif they truely wanted to be happy in a relationship, they should have stayed with that one a few years ago, that seemed best so far, and worked at it.

    There's also another factor, relationships are no longer sacred, they no longer hold teh same emotional attachment they used to, and are now used as a commodity, as a stepping stone to gain things or power in todays society, which is what turns me off of relationships more than anything else. It's very hard to find someone that has the same beliefs in relationships that I do, that it is something that should be cherished.
     
  5. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    My take is...

    1. People don't grow up. As a result, they play and fuck around more and often in ways that are immature. They often don't develop the ability to actually have a mature relationship.

    2. There is less financial reason to do so for women. Women can work and support themselves nearly as profitably as men. As a result, there is less need to settle down.

    3. People are getting desensitized to being alone. It's easier to be alone with TV, music, drugs, alcohol, etc., and so they don't think about it.

    It's all kind of sad, in my opinion.
     
  6. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    I agree with this as well.
     
  7. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    You make it sound so easy. Maybe some people just don't find that special person.
     
  8. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Doesn't that suck? I mean to never find your soul mate your entire life and die alone? On top of all of this there is a high divorce rate. You have of people getting divorced late 30's or 40's and never getting married again. I want to get married and have a soul mate. I don't see how anyone could be happy never finding a SO and just fucking alot of people or have 3 month relationships their entire life.
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    That attitude in itself could be dangerous. I mean, I'm all for you finding a good woman for yourself, but if you are out there with the attitude of "I have to find the PERFECT woman, you could spend all of your time alone because you haven't found her.

    Don't be looking for a 100% match. Look for a woman who is mature, emotionally healthy, and makes you happy.
     
  10. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I must admit I ruined things with the girl I was going to get married to because I wanted better. She was perfect wife material but I am 21 I didn't think I should settle at this age. I was thinking more of late 20's instead of still in college.
     
  11. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So knowing that you weren't necessarily ready to get married yet, why didn't you stay with her?

    Or did she really want to get married right away?

    Was it the woman that was the problem, or just you not being ready? That's not an insult...I know I'm not ready to be married. I know I want to be financially independent and stable before I make that kind of commitment.

    For me, this means that it wouldn't happen until I had gotten my own place (which is still a few months off) and am holding a steady job and have my finances figured out.

    I have to be able to live just fine on my own before I can live with another person in a serious relationship.
     
  12. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    She wanted to get an appartment and I didn't know she did really wanted one that bad and she left me over it. She did not say look, get an appartment or bye. She just left me. I didn't get one because I wanted to keep my mom company in this 4 bedroom house. If I would have moved out and things did not work out I would not have a home to come back to because my mom would have sold the house and moved sicne it would be just her. She left me to get with a dude 8 years older then her, that works at Auto zone, has no education, has no money, a shitty car and lives in a double wide 20 miles out of town. I don't know why I care, she always did like to hang around lower class people and I never did because Im higher middle class. I was never down for going to hang out with her older friends that live out in the country, have kids with no dads. That whole working class life does not suit me but she seem to want a life like that because she has no motivation. I know what you are thinking, I still live at home. Well it is by choice, I could go buy a house but why waste all that money at this point in life when I am not even sure what I am doing yet. I am still going to college and there is a big ass house here with only 2 people in it. Arg sorry guys didn't mean to turn this into just about me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 31, 2006
  13. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    bolded and added a point

    i'm in a bike club (just started in it, now that i got mine working), been in a kayak club for a while now, in 2 car clubs - and when it's all done for the day, i still go home alone :dunno:

    kinda sucks, really
    i figured by now i'd have been married

    after the wreck last year i've been pretty fuckng lazy to do anything - mostly due to lower back pain
    it's turned into a habit

    what's REALLY odd is that all the men in my family history (dad's side) have been dead or married by the time they were 35
    if not for modern medical and car engineering - i would be dead
    maybe i was supposed to be, and now that i'm not this time is just passing by and



    eh, i'm getting off track here
     
  14. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Yeah but all of those clubs are mostly guys correct? Also what really sucks is once you hit a certain age it is like impossible to find anyone single anymore.
     
  15. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    kayak one has several women in it (and more than one look :naughty: ), but yeah - mostly guys

    and yes, anyone near my age is already married, or divorced and/or with kid(s)
    and those 20-28 don't want a guy that much older than them

    "half your age plus 10 years" is "supposed" to be "ideal"
     
  16. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    Just want to second MattThom01's comments. I've always hated the idea of there being one person out there for people. I believe more in compatibility. I also believe that people who remain in relationships are able to because the relationship allows both people to navigate changes in their lives and challenges to the relationship. People continue to grow even after they're adults and those who stay together are able to grow together.
     
  17. xinster

    xinster New Member

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    its that damn world of warcraft.

    no rly, the internet rapes your life. dont become a hikikomori ;D
     
  18. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    Why I'm alone at 34...

    It's damned hard to meet a guy (yes I'm a girl) at my age who doesn't want to have children and/or who doesn't have kids already. I'm not open to being a stepmom to young kids. I guess that's kinda sealed my fate. That, and I've been burned by an ex pretty badly.

    However, I don't have a huge ache to be with someone and have a pretty good network of friends. No worries. If I meet *the one*, great. I don't think it will happen for me, with my childfree stance on life but one never knows.
     
  19. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

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    for me it will probally be because of my ugliness
     
  20. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Well, there's a few things to this...

    First off, you're probably better off with out her, because there's no reason for anyone to meet certain demands, just to keep thier company, especially if it's never spoken. People are not mind readers, and things have to be said.

    Second of all, you should really reconsider your opion on "working class" people, a lot of us do have a lot of ambition or drive to excel, a lot of do follow through with that ambition, and do at least try and make something of ourselves.
    Then there's also the flip side, there's many people that have a high education come from well off families, but are still working class, due to many factors. There are a lot of university educated people that work at places like McDonalds with thier McJobs, because of circumstances beyond thier control.
    A lot of us "working class" have very good educations, ones that may not end up with a diploma at the end of the day, but like me, I continue to learn about things that interest me, everyday, and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life, all a diploma is to me is a piece of paper that says you can read and understand a book, big deal, anybody can do that, to understand life, is a whole new realm.
     
  21. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    I used to be on the same side of the rock as you. for a childess existance, for the most part I still am, but the women I seem to meet all want kids, and I've started to think that maybe one day I might want kids.

    I also know a few people that don't want kids, there's a couple I know that plan to never have kids, due to the way society is, and if they do decide that they want to raise a child, they will adopt.
    Then I know a few guys that say they never want kids, yet most of them are with women that either do want kids or may want to in the future.
     
  22. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Let me add:

    4. People have too low of standards. Believe it or not, low standards are the root of all evil in relationships. Don't settle for second best, or "right now", because you are lonely. Know what you want, examine your partner to see if he/she meets them by at least 90%, and then move on from the folks that don't.

    I see so many folks stuck with some half-assed excuse for a lover, when that person is a liar, a cheat, a fuck-stick, whatever... RAISE your standards and pay attention and you may just meet that person.

    I was single for 3+ years, by choice, and dated only *ONE* woman before I met Donna (slept with none, BTW.) And you all know I am a pick up artist, so take a hint. Be single, be aware, go out, and pick the right one. It's not that hard, but you have to be paying just enough attention. :bigthumb:
     
  23. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Nothing wrong with working class, but I don't relate to most people who just work a retail job. Going 20 miles out of town and drinking on the weekends and eating dinner was not my idea of fun. Being higher class I can aford to go to dinner, a movie and the a bar. I can afford to drop 80 bucks on a Friday to be entertained. I can afford the good life and that is what I want to do.
     
  24. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    ill be 30 in 4 years and i cant see myself getting married by then. i just dont see the point until i find someone i want to spend the rest of my life with.
     
  25. einnor1040

    einnor1040 New Member

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    I didn't get married until I was 30. Now 14 years later I'm single again. It sucks.
     

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