SRS How do people do it? Make it on their own...?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Legend Zero, May 11, 2006.

  1. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

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    Is it possible, for a 18 year old to move out on his own, in hopes of finding some job.. live somewhere descent and be able to hold a steady income? Maybe go to a CC or something?


    i honestly just don't even know what to do anymore, at one point i considered myself suicidal, but never could do it, and now i'm living this life and i feel like i'm getting nowhere..would i ever kill myself..probally not..if some robber came to me with a gun and asked me for my wallet..would i give it up.. no.
    I just want to run away from all this, don't know how to tell my parents i'm a failure, don't know how to tell my dad who attempted suicide a couple of months ago, and insisted, "i no longer want to live for anyone but you" said something along the lines of his goals now wanting to support me in college and such..and here i am.. fucked up. Why the hell can i do amazing in every class but one? Why can't i just find someone who loves me?

    I don't know, but i contemplated the though of me being a failure for so long, and the thought i had was, "just put the past behind and look ahead," but nomore.. i can't look ahead anymore.. everytime it gets worse and worse..

    i know what the thought is..some dumb 18 yr old kid whose had some obsticales thinks this is as bad as it can get, i know it can get MUCH worse.. but i don't want to live to c it...
     
  2. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    You know, it's a cold world out there. You have to watch for yourself, really. Make yourself your #1 priority. Make a plan and have a back up plan just in case. Get some education...as much as you can...Learn all you can...guard your heart...and just say to yourself "This is for ME." Screw everyone else and what they think. I'm gonna make it. Focus. Determination. So, you have to suffer for awhile while your getting your shit together. Keep your mind focused on your goal(s).
     
  3. Ran Kizama

    Ran Kizama New Member

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    I'd recommend a hiatus man. It sounds like you're definitely overwhelming yourself with what you think is the ideal lifestyle. Between being on your own, trying to find love, and taking classes, one can easily be overwhelmed. I personally respect your ambition to move out at 18. That shows a lot of character. However proper planning is the key and it sounds like you've just slammed yourself into a pit. I don't see anything wrong with living at home while in school and getting ready for the real life. Maybe you should try and take a vacation sometime to get away from life for a while. Just go on a hiatus somewhere secluded to relax and find yourself. Just my $.02.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You can achieve anything you want in life. Whats important to know is that a winner loves,believes and supports himself.

    Its not about winning or losing in the end anyway, its about going on despite that you fail what makes you a winner, throwing in the towel is the worst thing you can do, when you are in darkness the only thing you need to do is look up to see the light.

    But that doesn't solve your problems right? Well , what solves your problems is the knowledge that its the same for everyone namely this ' you have to earn what you receive in life' , this comes thru hard work,logical thinking and a base that you build up, sometimes a wave of life comes over your life and crushes your castle, the only thing that is substantial and thing you can do is to rebuild your castle, crying over the rubble won't give you anything substantial and is completely worthless,as you cry over nothing that is left to cry over. Therefore do your best, and make the best of your life, its the only substantial thing to do. The only thing in the universe that brings you happyness in life is to love and help other people , so live by that and happyness and love will be reflected back in your life, as you can see its a continues investment into that what is constructive.
     
  5. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Tell yourself that everything difficult in life has a solution. What you need to find these solutions is a little bit of creativity & a bit of resolve.

    Just like a flowing stream of water, you can put obstacles in its way, but inevitably water will find a way to flow around it.
     
  6. Brigante

    Brigante i'm a lurker without an avatar, deal with it

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    you're ONLY 18 years old. you're still a youth no matter what the government tells you given your age. way too soon to throw in the rag and seemingly give up. the real world can be a real bitch sometimes. if you expect to be making $30+ an hour in a management-level position for an upstanding company at 18, please wake up and smell the roses. the most successful people in the world started the same place you did. the rare few are handed their fortune by their parents but for the rest of us, this is life. get used to it. you have a vision of how life should be, the only way to get the real picture is to get out there and experience it yourself. it's not the end of the world. you have a LOT of time.
     
  7. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

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    Thank You guys, i truly appreciate these sugestions..
    it's just with my fathers suicide attempt, our family being thrown into banktruptcy, and now me "screwing up" in school.. i just don't know how to tell my parents. I feel like one of the few things they thought they had going for them (their son going to college and being sucessful) i just threw that down the drain for them..

    I'm not doing so bad, just that i had this image of me becoming a psychiatrist, so anyway, I took Bio 101 in the fall, and got a F, said it's okay i have alot of stressors, i will just try and move beyond that, tried again, do not think i will get past a C-, and you need a C+ to move on.. obviously becoming that psychaitrist is a bit out of the question now, and i can accept that kinda.. maybe it was a sign that it just wasn't meant to be or something, but idk.. i went to this school (that costs 20k/yr keeping in mind my family is in bankruptcy now) because they are known for their outstanding services in the Medical realm and Natural sciences in general.

    Now that leaves me for next year? My Cum gpa wil probaly be around a 2.6-2.8, (i am going into soph yr)... and i am thinking if i should just go to a local Community college maybe? If i take a year to go to CC, it would only cost 5k at most, which i can pay off, maybe ask my aunt and uncle to help me with buying a car, and have a steady job.. than the following year i could apply to a public university, which wouldn't be more than 10-15k..


    I just can not bear to tell my parents i mest up like this, i am not saying this is right, but they are people who try to hold their pride, and i personally think CC is a great way for people to start out, and hell, i know professors in IL who taught at University of Chicago (a top school nationally) who teach at my local Community college, so i know i am not getting a "worthless education," but i am sure my parents would tell me that i should continue on at my private university which i am now..

    I am trying to look at this all financialy and logically, and seeing as how bad my gpa is, i doubt i will ever be able to go to graduate school, so i will have a Bachlors. If i continue with this private education, i am in 80k-100k debt, and prob barely going to make 30-40k a year after i graduate... doesn't sound so smart doesn't it?

    I guess i am just stuck on, A. waht to do in life, B. upset that i will disapoint my parents to all hell which is really causing me extreme amoutns of anxiety due to recent events (family declaring bankruptcy, fathers attemted suicide..) C. feel that if i just pretend everything is okay, try and save up some money next year, and than go start a career without ever looking back i will ease a burdern off my parents (me).
     
  8. chickentendah

    chickentendah New Member

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    Believe it or not, EVERYBODY has problems. Even the very people that you envy. If you have a friend who is "successful", ask him/her how he got there. Okay so maybe you have a friend who was born into wealth and fortune, etc etc.. Is that person truly happy? Everybody's definition of happy is different. What other non-obvious problems does this "successful" person have? If you want some examples, look into the childhoods of Bill Gates, Tom Cruise, etc

    IMO, life is about the challenges itself. When you start fighting back, that's when you're really living your life. When you finally overcome challenges, you'll begin to appreciate life. After that, you'll no longer get phased about the obstacles, because life's really about overcoming challenges. Like that one quote from Vanilla Sky, yes a tom cruise movie, "there's no bitter without the sweet"

    I know it's hard for you to see any of this yet. FIGHT BACK starting today. Channel that frustration and pent up anger to fighting back. How bad do you want to be happy? Society's failures come from people who throw in the towel. Be persistent, and brighter days will be guaranteed to come. Don't just lay around and do nothing and expect for luck. Create your own luck, and control your life!

    Hang in there man.
     
  9. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

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    I also wanted to add that i SERIOUSLY, from the bottom of my heart appreciate people raeding this thread and answering, i know it can be annoying sometimes to read such long posts..so i apoligize, but i really do appreciate any help/advice..

    PuppyCat:
    I know i try, i know that i have to do it for myself, but whenever there comes a disapointment, i don't feel like, crap i let myself down, i feel like i let my father, mother, aunt, uncle, grandparents down..these people who came from Asia hoping their children can have a great future, and i feel like, gee, "this is how i reward them?" you know what i mean?

    Ran Kizama:
    I would like to take a year off from school and maybe just work and truly think about what i want. But i really can not afford that, like i said my parents decalred bankruptcy and they are already upset as is, i can not even begin to imagine what they would say if i told them i wish to take a year off and just work.. hell, i know best that so many people who end up taking a year off, that year becomes a lifetime.. i am 99.9% positive that wouldn't be me..but so were those other ppl who took a year off.. so i guess, i have to just rule that out.

    Darketernal & Toasty:
    Heh, you know what's funny is that, as a psychology major and someone who has been interested in CBT for years, that is what i tell myself. I tell myself to look at my failures, take a minute or two to dwell on them and see what knowledge i can attain from them, and continue to rebuild this empire (i use empire instead of castle ;) ). I feel like i am a person which such motivation, like i want to do so much, but when it comes down to applying it, i don't what stopping me, but i can't. I get distracted, feel like i can't do it, but than each night i prey to god that whatever career i choose, it is one that helps humanity in some way. But than, here i have a golden shot to do it, to try and truly help ppl, and i blow it away i feel..and i am not sure why, but your empire or castle can only be broken down so many times before your run out of resoruces to rebuild..

    Brigante:
    Heh trust me, i know better than most how hard it is to make it at 18 with a "highschool diploma." My mom works 3 jobs, about 60 hrs a week, and barely hits the 40k mark.. my dad has one job, but before his suciide attempt, he worked close to 50-55 hrs a week, and barely hits the 45-50k mark. I am not going to lie they are both from Asia, so they have some language difficulties, and they didn't complete their education in America, but still, i see first hand how hard it is to make it in this country. That is probally why i get so hard on myself, because i don't want to do a job, i want to have a career, something that i wake up at 9am everyday happy going too, not waking up at 9 and going to work because i have to make ends meet.. Idk, i just wish i could do that, want my parents to work less, and help them out, but it seems like i am not destined to help them or something..
     
  10. chickentendah

    chickentendah New Member

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    Okay, I'd thought i'd give you something specific so you'll really believe me that it's not over yet.

    Without getting into specifics, I studied hard in school all the way through high school. Got swept into a academic scandal in junior year of high school. Got fucked over, and believed my life was over. Ambitions, hopes, and dreams went to shit. Going to university directly from high school was out of the question.

    Then, I decided that I wasn't going to give up. Dropped out of high school. Enrolled at my local CC. Got my state's equivalent HS diploma by examination. Found a sympathetic professor, who helped me get admitted into state university. Applied to other universities as a freshman, while spending my "senior year of HS" at state university. Got admitted to a prestigous university. Slacked off at state university, grades went to shit. Admission to prestigious-U revoked.

    Hit rock bottom again.

    Didn't give up. Worked my ass off for another THREE years, and applied to universities again as a transfer. A great university admitted me, and I transferred. Got my Bachelors. ANd now I'm going for my masters/PhD in a subject area that i'm extremely interested in.

    SOOOOOOOOOOOO, legend zero. It's not over!!! If you must, decide whether or not it would make any sense to get your act together at your current university. If not, going to CC and then transferring to another university (or returning to current U) would not be such a bad idea!
     
  11. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

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    :bowdown: Vanilla Sky.. there are two quotes i truly try and live by.. 1. "be the change you want to c in the world" ghandi.. and sadly, 2. " Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around." VS.
    I know what you mean about fighting back, i think i am just going to give it all i got this last day (24 hrs left of freshman year). I am going to pull through for these last test and paper, and than take some rest this weekend, i have only gotten abot 5 hrs of sleep between the last 3 days, and truly try to change things. I am going to try and apply for some jobs, reinstate my membership to the gym, and well talk to my advisor on tuseday. I am registerd for Bio 102, 111, and 112 for the summer, but i obviosuly can't take them if i don't get that C+ in Bio 101, so i will either need to ask for my money back or maybe i will take another course..
     
  12. turbobuick420

    turbobuick420 New Member

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    i moved out at 18. i moved to a little town where rent was cheap. i paid around 250 a month for a place of my own. found a job doing construction getting 10 an hour. was able to save and pay all bills living below my means. so it is possible.
     
  13. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    It is most definitely possible.

    My best friend Meredith moved out at 18 because her mom is a crazy psycho and she's doing awesome. She works two jobs, goes to a 4 yr university and generally keeps things together. She works so hard that she can even afford to live like a normal person with free money and room to splurge.

    Granted, she is very competitive, very driven.. and full of caffeine all the time, but it is possible.

    And I moved out at 17 and did just fine. Granted, I had my boyfriend helping me but as long as you can stay focused and not party too much, you should be fine. One of my old friends moved out at the same time, and she's doing terribly right now. :hs: Sleeping with her managers just to keep a job.. 20 now and not in school, barely finished high school.. suicidal.. etc.

    So it kinda depends on the person. :dunno:
     
  14. Audiophile

    Audiophile boom boom

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    Defenitely possible bro.

    When I was 18 (I'm 19 now) I started working in a retail sports shop in my town. I went from just talking with guests in the shop to working with Microsoft Retail Management System everyday and manage the stores inventory, administor the website, create purchase orders, etc... I basically run the shop when my boss is not here. I've worked myself into 35 - 40 hours here monday - friday, and weekends I am a cook, totalling about 10 hours saturday and sunday.

    From my full-time job I recieve full benefits. Dental, optical, yada yada. I had my shoulder replaced this winter and pretty much all I had to pay was the co-payments at each visit.

    I may not make be making a lot of money by OT standards right now, but with the benefits I have at the age of 19 I cannot complain.

    So to answer your quesitons, yes you can totally do it. It's going to take a lot of work and you cannot pussy out. Show up for work each day and do your shit right. Depending how responsible you are with money, open up a credit card or two. Buy shit, pay it off.. buy shit, pay it off. Get your credit going in your favor. Manage your money well and have a monthly spending limit to make sure bills are a number one priority. good luck. :bigthumb:

    It's fuggin' crazy out here :eek3:
     
  15. blackgrrl23

    blackgrrl23 If the game ain't money, then I ain't playing.

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    You do what you have to to survive. My 3 most important things:

    1. A roof over your head
    2. food on the table
    3. faith in a higher power of your choice

    Once you have those 3 things, everything else will fall into place. :hs:
     
  16. 2500

    2500 Guest

    i'm in kind of the same situation. but i'm 23, lol. me and my therapist both agree i need to be away from my dad ASAP because he is a negative energy in my life, and i have so many problems because of him. so, the answer is to get away from him as soon as i can. he pushes my buttons, says things just to piss me off, its just, bad. but, i dropped out of college a few years ago, and now i wanna go back. well, if i go to college, i will prolly only be able to work part time, and that won't get me an apartment. but, if i work full time, i'll only have like, 1 class and i won't be out of college till i'm frickin 35, lol. so, i don't know how i can go to school and move out, but i think i am going to look into living assistance, financial aid. best of luck though.
     

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