SRS How do i not get intimidated by good looking girls?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by crunchy_black, Nov 1, 2007.

  1. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    When i get drunk and go to clubs / bars i can quite easily chat up the ugly / fat ones but when it comes to a stunner i have troubles..

    And then i end up getting a girl who is fat / ugly.. only to not want to see her again cause I'm not attracted to her.

    It just so happens that eventually i get drunk enough and sometimes crack on to a winner :mamoru:

    Need some ideas, cause it pisses me off
     
  2. MuttonFlanks

    MuttonFlanks New Member

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    Just imagine the hot girl is ugly / fat? :dunno: You're drunk anyways, shouldn't be too hard...
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    your self-esteem determines what you believe to be in your "league".

    ugly/fatties pose no threat, cause no anxiety because you know your number is higher.
    You relax and act confidently without second guessing anything, because you basically dont need to give a shit.

    cute/hots cause nervousness because you identify yourself as being in the "I better not screw this up" camp since you perceive your number as lower.

    You drink and relax which frees you up slightly. That's a fine line though, drink too much and you cross over into being an ass.

    Work on yourself, improve your situation in life, that helps drive up your self-esteem.
    Previously slightly too-hot's will become easy get's when you raise your number.

    Make sense?
     
  4. Jake!

    Jake! Guest

    not matter how great she looks; someone else is sick and tired of putting up with her
     
  5. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    gain some confidence buddy.
    hot girls will see it and thus be attracted to you.
     
  6. rs0252

    rs0252 New Member

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    .
     
  7. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    I'm aware i have confidence issues, but i don't know how to get around it.
    Only way i can think.. is giving it time, very slowly working my way up the ladder
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    This may not be the solution to your problems, but I tell you what helped my self-confidence grow in leaps in bounds.

    And that has been being brutally honest with myself and challenging all my previous beliefs. What I found is that I'm not the great guy I thought I was, that I had severe insecurity issues, depression, anger, and a controlling nature.

    When I stopped reasoning that I was the best person on earth because I did nice things for people, and realized that I was human and I had very real human thoughts and ugly things about myself, I isolated the problems I had and was able to come clean with myself. When you know what your real self is, you can fix it and work past it.

    It's tough. In fact, the toughest thing I ever did. In fact, I used a blog to do it. Put all my shit out there for everyone to read. And after I'd make a serious post about my issues, I would dwell on it until I pretty much would just break down and SOB.

    But I can feel a difference in my confidence levels. I still have some issues to work out, but I feel so much better about myself knowing that I can stop lying to myself and be brutally honest with who I am.

    It's also helping me to challenge my beliefs. It's helping me to firm things up so that I'm not "wishy washy".

    In essence I'm taking insecurity and mush and replacing it with solid thing and solid belief systems, and I feel like I've grown in leaps and bounds.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    The guys who get hot girls a lot of the time are guys who don't give a shit that the girls is smokin. Have that attitude. If you are drinking your nerves should already be less. Just do it. The worst she can do is reject you, and who the fuck cares? It's just one hot girl out of a billion!
     
  10. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Because you're seeing them as having a Higher Value than yourself. The ugly / fat ones you see as having a Lower Value than yourself, which is why they are easy. Why shouldn't they respond well to you? You're a catch for them! But the hot ones... they would be a catch for you, thus you're worried about how they will respond to little ol' you.

    When you stop placing attractive women above you on a Social Value Scale you'll be able to talk to them better.
     
  11. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    :werd:


    Hey, OP. At least the ugly / fat ones won't take advantage of you and will always be there for ya -- through thick and thin, right? :mamoru:
     
  12. MiniEnglishRose

    MiniEnglishRose New Member

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    Am I wrong or is there a HUGE spectrum of girls that we are missing between the Stunners and the Ugly/Fat ones? What about the cute and quirky ones? Or the girls that every guy considers their 'good friend' but is still really pretty? Most of the hot girls KNOW their hot. There are a ton of girls out there that are really cute, don't know or don't use it to get what they want. Why don't you concentrate on finding those types of girls...?
     
  13. johan

    johan Active Member

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    For most people, physical condition drives self-esteem to a large degree.

    Even if you're a huge geek who has no interest in building muscle, you can benefit from joining a gym and doing some fitness work.

    In fact those types of guys would benefit most from shaking off their old mental chains, and getting healthy and fit, taking an interest in a sport, and pursuing some interests that involve other people.

    If the gym is anathema to you, then get involved in some kind of group/team sport.
    The gym is just more time-efficient, that's all.

    That helps you work on your physical and emotional self.



    Next focus on your "corporate/work" self, which means think about your job or career.

    Where are you at there? Doing nothing? Spinning your wheels?
    Start moving ahead with that, or if you're in a dead-end job, take steps toward a better job.

    All this applies equally to school. Focus on doing well, kicking some ass, and then moving on to a good job.



    Notice I've said nothing about somehow "convincing" yourself that you are high-status.

    The only true path to becoming high-status/high self-esteem is to actually BE it.
    Improve your life in real and substantial ways, and you become money.

    You don't have to worry about "getting" girls. Girls want to be with guys who have it.
    You just need to be IT. The girls will bring themselves to you.



    Those girls you now moon over? They'll become not-worth-your-time since you now have genuine access to a better class of hottie.

    Try it. All you have to lose is your current crappy life.
     
  14. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I have the same problem as the thread starter with this type. I'm after women with hobbies aside from "being a girl," but it seems like they have much more social equity than I do.
     
  15. UNvisible

    UNvisible New Member

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    yep. That's how i feel about my ex. hot as hell, but damn she is immature.
     
  16. deleterious

    deleterious OT Supporter

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    she shits, pisses, burps, and farts just like you do
     
  17. pretty_n_ink

    pretty_n_ink New Member

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    Have some self confidence. I realize by your post that you probably don't have much so you'll need to work on it. Just fucking talk to her. If she rejects you, so what? You gotta keep on like you don't care. There are a ton of gals out there, many that feel the way that you do.

    Women can smell fear. Trust me, the quirky guys that make me laugh and aren't in the gym everyday are way hotter than the ones that shave their entire bodies and wear more bronzer than I do.

    True story: I met a guy that was really, really hot. A body building model/contestant. He was also about as smart as my pet gerbil, Marmaduke. He also drooled when he ate and he kissed me so hard I thought my face was bruised. He once called the police to my house and reported his T-Tops stolen, he later realized they were at his house in the driveway. Take a guess at how long this relationship lasted? :rofl: He had T-Tops?
     
  18. pretty_n_ink

    pretty_n_ink New Member

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    :bigthumb:
     
  19. BeHeadR

    BeHeadR Only Slightly Insane

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    Yeah but guess what, he still fucked you and got what he wanted.

    Face it, he won and you fell for it.....what does that say about you?
     
  20. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    alright here's a couple pics where I looks scrawny and bitch-esque. I look much better, and less "downs-syndromed" in person. I've been driving the convertible all day, so my hair is fucked up too.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  21. pretty_n_ink

    pretty_n_ink New Member

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    Where in there did it say I fucked him? I didn't because I couldn't get wet. Wasn't attracted to him.

    Jump to conclusions much? I dumped him.
     
  22. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    Hmmmm, I've been thinking about join a Gym actually cause my skinny frame is starting to get fat, 1st office job :ugh:
     
  23. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    the gym was great for me. In 2 years I went from 138lb to 202. I had to buy new cloths though. It teaches you to want something which seems impossible, and achieve it at all costs. There's nothing in there but you and the iron.
     

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