How do i get rid of this grudge?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by kiz, Nov 14, 2006.

  1. kiz

    kiz New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Fuckin' Jersey
    Several months ago when I was living with my gf of 3 months, for the first few weeks things were fantastic. she was going supposedly going through a lot of shit and we hadnt really had a very strong connection at the time. because of other circumstances (a family friend needing the guest house and me having another place to stay anyway). I moved out of her guest house and moved to another friends place. This pissed me off a lot because she didn't even tell me she sort of just assumed that I'd get the message when she said "oh mike is going to live in the guest house" from that point on things were extremely rocky, and she was basically cold and a stuck-up bitch. So after playing the indifference game for a while I said fuck this and met with her to break things off. She bawled for a while and apologized profusely, and because i had no real backbone i gave in for the easy makeup sex.

    now our relationship is infinitely better, and she does tons of little things for me all the time to show she cares. she's a completely different person now that she's away from her home town and at college. I'm flying back to her home town to ski with a friend and her for about 2 weeks this winter. She's said many times that this time in Jackson Hole (her town) it's going to be completely different, but I for some reason I can't get over the shit that went down and I do still hold it against her. How can i come to terms with this shit so that this winter doesnt become a self fulfilling prophecy??
     
  2. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    You cant really come to terms with it until she proves to you its not something you will have to deal with again in the future. Just take things as they come...
     
  3. foad

    foad New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2004
    Messages:
    671
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Orange Park, Florida
    :werd:
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Why were you living with her in the first place if you had only been together 3 months and didn't have that strong of a connection?
     
  5. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    The grudge, my best guess, is because you are mad at yourself for being weak and taking her back. The problem is often that you were tested by her to see if you were a "real man." You passed the test when you dumped her and showed her you wouldn't take her shit, that basically you were in control of things. However, you at the same time failed the test because you went back on your decision and "caved in." That causes a lot of inner conflict, in my experience.

    All I am saying is that if I were you I would tell her flat out, right now, that you are not going to take any crap from her, and that you expect her to be on her best behavior, now and forever, because she's had her one chance. Be polite about it, but be sure you let her know the "ground rules" so you are both on the same page.
     
  6. kiz

    kiz New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Fuckin' Jersey
    it just made sense to stay in her guest house instead of driving a 1/2 hr to my friends place. I'm from new jersey and she and my friend live in wyoming. I stayed in wyoming for a month hiking and hanging out this summer so i was either at my friends place or hers. later in the month I was at my friends place more becaus of how things were falling apart.
     

Share This Page