How do I get my girlfriend back? If I cant, how do i get over her? :wtc:

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by WeRdToYoMoThA, Apr 14, 2005.

  1. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    I was dating her for just over a year and a half... she was a great girl. As of yesterday, we decided to take a 1 week break from our relationship. THe problem is, she seems completely unaffected by it. Yesterday she went to hang out with some friends, today also. What the fuck is going on? here is the story:

    We started dating in October of 2003. Everything was great. We spent almost every day together, and we couldnt be happier. Around the time summer started, we began having some problems. It had a lot to do with the fact that she wanted to hang out with friends a lot. I was a bit too harsh and tried to discourage her from it, mainly because i was selfish. This I admit to, and i shouldnt have done so. She reluctantly parted away from her friends (they were mainly guy friends). School started back up, and we were doing pretty good. We spent at least a few hours together every day, occasionally spent the night together at my brother's house about 30 miles away, etc. Then, around the time of our 1 year anniversary, I began hanging out with my friends more. We played poker a lot, 1-2 times a week, and she, having no friends, would usually come with me, and just sit and read a book while i was playing. I would check up on her every once in a while. Eventually, she started becoming close friends with the people i played poker with (i used to consider them my friends, now they are not worth the shit i step in). It got to the point where she would hang out with them alone, without me. I didnt have too much of a problem with it, except for one person. His name is Nikita. we were pretty good friends at one point, then this shit started. He became VERY flirty with my girlfriend. As in, they would hit each other, kick each other, hold hands to stop each other from hitting the other one, he started picking her up, etc. After this, I decided to part ways with them. A few months ago, I gradually began to distance myself from them, and no longer hung out with them. I told her she could hang out with them, but I would no longer hang out with them together, because I got sick of seeing what was going on. Monday, I left early from hanging out with some other friends (acquaintances moreso than friends) in order to see my girlfriend for what i hoped would be the whole day. I picked her up, we went to eat lunch, and then we were planning on catching a movie. Before we got to the movie theater, she decided to call Nikita and Max (2 of my former "friends"). She told me she just wanted to see what they were doing. Once she does that, i hear her making plans with them rather than seeing the movie. I figured whatever, i would see her later on that day. I drop her off at Nikita's house, she tells me she will call in a couple hours and we would do something then. 4 hours go by, and it is already 11 PM, too late to do anything. I did not get mad or dissapointed in her. I had a feeling of complete indifference. THe problem was that I did not expect her to call. It was as if i had given up all hope of our relationship working anymore. I was depressed, truly depressed. Tuesday comes along, and she tells me that she wants to take a break. She told me that i am the greatest guy she has ever met, but she no longer feels the same way for me. She said she cares about me more than anyone else, but she cares about me more of as a friend. So we decided to take a 1 week break, starting tuesday. I talked to her a little bit yesterday, to ask her if she needed a week, she seemed pretty determined that she was happier without me, or at least that was what i got from her hanging out the day of our "break". She says that she is happy that she does not have a leash on her, and i do not understand why she thinks i am putting a leash on her. All I ask her is to spent a day with me alone every once in a while, otherwise she can hang out with whoever she wants whenever she wants.

    Now comes the whole problem with these friends. They continuously hit on her, pick her up, etc. I was talking toa friend of mine, who is also a friend of Nikita's, and he told me that Nikita thought the only reason that my gf was not dating Nikita right now was because she was still with me. He thinks that she likes him and wants to be with him, but didnt want to go against our relationship. From what my girlfriend has talked to me about, she has no interest in the guy. She is very well accustomed with my family, and talked to my brother on AIM. She even told him that Nikita has NOTHING on me, and i am a much better person and boyfriend. I want to beat the living shit out of Nikita right now, as well as most of my former friends.


    I have kind of a dillemma, should I talk to her at all during this "break"? I told her today that i had something to tell her, and asked her to talk to me when she gets off from school later tonight. She told me she had plans. When i asked what plans, she said she didnt know what plans, but she had them. I made plans with her for Sunday, I wanted to take her to a nearby canyon/park, and hang out with her for a few hours. So what should I do? Should I cancel those plans with her for sunday and just not talk to her until next tuesday? Or should I talk to her a lot, and say things that I hope will win her back?

    Also, I am going to a party on Sat Night. I dont know if I should take that as an opportunity to meet more girls, or to wait until tuesday.


    I would do anything to get her back, but I don't know how to go about doing it. And if I cant get her back, what the fuck do i do now? I have 4 months until I move out, and I will most likely have no girlfriend, no friends to be with, and nothing else. What the fuck am i supposed to do? I cant stand just sitting here. Everything I see reminds me of her. I look at my cat, and remember the names she used to call it. I play poker, and remember when she sat with me on the couch, watching me play poker, without a bad thought in her mind. I drive down the street, and see her favorite store. it sucks :wtc:

    :wtc:


    I know this is long. I cannot possibly give cliffs for all of this. Read it if you want to, dont if you dont. At least this helped me somewhat vent.





    EDIT: here is the conversation she had with my brother

    girlfriend: (10:30:48 PM): you know..every single person i talked to so far about this..has told me to dump vadim..and everyone has their own fucking reasons..either because hes a good guy and he deserves better..which he does..or because he sucks and i deserve better..or some shit like that...i just think that i need to be single for a while..because its high school...we were gonna have to break up anyway in three months....and the reason im taking a break is because i have to figure out what the hell i feel like...and you are not making it any better.....and i see where youre coming from..its just that ive had to listen to where everyone else is coming from as well...
    brother: (10:31:33 PM): strana sovyetov
    brother: (10:32:20 PM): who said that hs has to be about single life?
    brother: (10:32:36 PM): who said that anything has to be about single life?
    brother: (10:32:50 PM): personaly I think life is much better when you have some one you love, some one you are close with
    brother: (10:33:23 PM): the whole american ideal about single life, fucking everything in sight, flirtin with more.. I just dont get it. but that is just me
    girlfriend: (10:33:25 PM): it doesnt have to be abot single life..i just need to be single for a while....and dont tell me about love..i odnt even know what love is..im a fucking teenage girl for crying out loud..
    brother: (10:33:56 PM): yeah and juliet was 14 years old
    brother: (10:34:18 PM): I think that the most in love I have ever been was when I was in 12th grade
    brother: (10:34:37 PM): my relationship with amye does not even come close
    girlfriend: (10:34:51 PM): yes..i noticed
    brother: (10:35:38 PM): you did not know me back then
    girlfriend: (10:36:37 PM): yes but im not blind now either
    girlfriend: (10:38:06 PM): jesus christ..im just a fucking kid..you know..
    girlfriend: (10:38:36 PM): i odnt know what the big deal with this is anyway...i dont know why vadim cares about me so much.
    girlfriend: (10:39:07 PM): i odnt want him to care so much
    girlfriend: (10:40:02 PM): he deserves somebody better than me...
    girlfriend: (10:40:29 PM): and you think im just making shit up
    brother: (10:41:09 PM): why is that
    brother: (10:41:15 PM): why are you not good enough for him?
    girlfriend: (10:41:27 PM): because obbvioulsy im ahorrible fucking gf
    brother: (10:41:28 PM): you are smart, beautiull, you seem to like similar things
    brother: (10:41:42 PM): the only thing is that you are a little too flirtatious with everyone around you
    brother: (10:41:52 PM): though I think thats cause your mom is the same way
    brother: (10:42:16 PM): and you are not a kid
    brother: (10:42:18 PM): you are 17
    brother: (10:42:33 PM): that is old enough for death penalty if you kill some one, etc
    brother: (10:42:46 PM): you have responsibilities, etc
    brother: (10:43:09 PM): you are only as old as you choose to act. and "oh I am just a kid" is the worst excuse in the world. you stop being a kid when you hit 15 imho
    girlfriend: (10:44:27 PM): i odnt think he undersatnds that my flirtatiosness doesnt mean anything..i dont give a flying fuck about most people..and i care about him...and i told him this before but he continued acting the same way..and now its too late...ok im not just a kid..but im not an adult either...i odnt think i want to be in a realtionship this serious...i odnt think i want to be in a relationship at all...and im fucked up in the head for that because vadim would never lie or cheat or not care about me..and yet..
    girlfriend: (10:45:12 PM): yet were taking a break..because i nee dto figure out how i feel
    girlfriend: (10:45:54 PM): because i dont want to lead him on just for the hell of it..thats not fair to him
    brother: (10:46:21 PM): whether or not you mean anything by flirting with people, it still makes the people around you uncomfortable
    brother: (10:46:31 PM): you have to oblige when you bf asks for something simple like that
    girlfriend: (10:47:45 PM): why should i have to oblige..this isnt gonna matter in a year...and im just having fun..which he doesnt comprehend..which makes me either a bitch..or look like a bitch..which is why he deserves better
    brother: (10:48:41 PM): you wanted him to oblige not driking
    brother: (10:48:47 PM): remember hw adamant you were about that
    brother: (10:49:42 PM): this is a much bigger issue than drinking
    girlfriend: (10:49:53 PM): im sorry i think giving up alcohol is easier than giving up all the guy friends youve ever had
    brother: (10:50:05 PM): no I am not talking about guy riends
    brother: (10:50:14 PM): rather not givin them up
    brother: (10:50:24 PM): I am talking about not flirting with them, there is a difference
    girlfriend: (10:50:55 PM): but thats the kind of person i am..im supposed to change my whole self for a high school bf?..for him to dump me..and in the end get hurt..
    girlfriend: (10:51:19 PM): that meant..im gonna end up being hurt
    brother: (10:52:11 PM): what is this convention that people seem to be about
    brother: (10:52:23 PM): how come everyone thinks that hs relationships are not important
    brother: (10:52:34 PM): it's the same thing with marriages these days
    brother: (10:52:39 PM): no one wants to work things out
    girlfriend: (10:53:20 PM): i dunno what to tell you man
    brother: (10:54:49 PM): enouh with these long statements
    brother: (10:54:52 PM): they are a pain to read
    girlfriend: (10:54:57 PM): lol
    girlfriend: (10:55:05 PM): alright your highness
    girlfriend: (10:55:29 PM): ill keep it short
    brother: (10:55:33 PM): I can see you typing for 2 hours then there is 3 pages worth of novel to read
    girlfriend: (10:55:55 PM): i know youre not accustomed o reading
    girlfriend: (10:55:59 PM): to*
    brother: (10:56:05 PM): awwww, now you are talking smack
    brother: (10:56:07 PM): :)
    girlfriend: (10:56:11 PM): :)
    girlfriend: (10:57:07 PM): but i dont know what to do..which is why im taking a break
    brother: (10:57:11 PM): I really thought that you two could make it work, even fter vadim went to college
    brother: (10:57:16 PM): all it would take is some effort
    girlfriend: (10:57:26 PM): no no long distance relationships
    brother: (10:57:31 PM): a couple I knew in hs ended up married
    brother: (10:57:38 PM): the most functioning relationship I ever knew
    girlfriend: (10:57:42 PM): i odnt want to date one guy and marry the same guy
    girlfriend: (10:58:02 PM): i owuld rather be sure that i founf..the right person.
    brother: (10:58:13 PM): my best friend is doing that
    brother: (10:58:28 PM): my friend alex did practically that
    girlfriend: (10:58:59 PM): and youre a great fuckng friend by the way..i love how you only start talking to me when your little brother: is in trouble..
    brother: (10:59:11 PM): I thought you blocked me
    brother: (10:59:15 PM): I did not know you changed your name
    brother: (10:59:31 PM): I thought that vadim blocked me from your aim 2 years ago when the dicle debcle happened
    girlfriend: (10:59:32 PM): you could have asked..but noo..you didnt care before
    brother: (11:00:03 PM): I really thought I was blocked
    brother: (11:00:17 PM): I did not even have you in the buddy list untill this afternoon
    girlfriend: (11:00:25 PM): see
    girlfriend: (11:00:31 PM): my point exactly
    brother: (11:00:35 PM): rather I have the slipnogirl
    brother: (11:00:37 PM): the original
    girlfriend: (11:00:48 PM): that wasnt the original
    girlfriend: (11:00:59 PM): :)
    brother: (11:01:22 PM): well I have slipnotgirl5
    girlfriend: (11:01:28 PM): ok
    brother: (11:01:36 PM): didnt know you moved to 2
    girlfriend: (11:01:38 PM): alright..
    brother: (11:02:52 PM): so sorry about that
    brother: (11:03:00 PM): I would have talked to you if I knew I was unblocked
    brother: (11:03:09 PM): and not like you were talking to me
    girlfriend: (11:03:45 PM): ok ok
    girlfriend: (11:04:57 PM): see this is what i get from people " if i were you, i wouldn't base my decision on what others think, i would think about what i want and what is best...btw, that includes this sentence"
    girlfriend: (11:05:10 PM): an dit gets worse
    girlfriend: (11:05:20 PM): i mean..everyone has an opinion about this
    girlfriend: (11:05:24 PM): its fucking crazy
    girlfriend: (11:05:28 PM): im like..leave me alone..
    brother: (11:05:32 PM): soviet fucking union
    brother: (11:05:36 PM): it lives on
    girlfriend: (11:07:36 PM): theres even this little indian kid with glasses..wholl ask "did you break up with vadim"...im like..."what the fuck?!"
    brother: (11:07:48 PM): hahaha
    brother: (11:07:57 PM): hs rumors spread with light speed
    girlfriend: (11:08:52 PM): ye syes they do..i odnt even care anymore..its funny..and of course everyone thinks i like nikita..tahts aslo funny..because its not true
    brother: (11:14:32 PM): it deifnetly looks liek it
    brother: (11:14:42 PM): and there is a reason why everyone things that, you make it seem like it
    girlfriend: (11:15:43 PM): if something appears to be true it doesnt mean that it is..
    brother: (11:15:57 PM): yeah but it still makes people think certain things
    girlfriend: (11:16:46 PM): that doesnt make people any less stupid
    girlfriend: (11:17:08 PM): and its really nobody elses business..but everyones making it that
    brother: (11:17:14 PM): yeah but you have to consider those around you and thier emotions
    brother: (11:17:28 PM): it is no one's business but yours and vadim
    girlfriend: (11:17:32 PM): exactly
    brother: (11:17:48 PM): and i he has a problem with it, then you have to deal with it
    girlfriend: (11:18:20 PM): yes except ive been dealing with it the whole time..witha ll my guy frineds that i no longer have because i never hung out with anyone because of vadim
    girlfriend: (11:21:48 PM): at least youre on his side..im glad somebody is..
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2005
  2. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    leave it as it is man, dont contact her, dont beg and defintely dont ask whats gong to happen. if she wants it she will come back. right now there is nothing more that you can do except cut contact and do your own thing.
     
  3. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    but i cant :wtc:


    are you saying i should cancel my plans for sunday with her?
     
  4. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    yeah u should, just make it seem like you got something more important to do.
     
  5. nonplus

    nonplus New Member

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    i also think you should cancel your plans with her
     
  6. nonplus

    nonplus New Member

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    i'm pretty sure she likes nikita

    i'm suspicious that she did things that you'd consider cheating

    i think the more desperate/sad/depressed you appear, the less she is going to want you back

    for that reason mostly, i think you should not see her right now. that's why i think you should cancel your plans. and don't sound sad if you do it.

    p.s. if you do see her sunday, you'll just miss her more and feel like shit.
     
  7. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    i think i will see her on sunday, i just wont act like i miss her too much. i will make it seem like i know its our last day together, and like i want to se eher one last time, and after that, i dont really look forward to seeing her again.

    just got home from the gym... it was great, took my mind off her completely.
     
  8. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    yeah that is the best solution. just cancelling on her alone will defintely work in your advantage
     
  9. nonplus

    nonplus New Member

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    ever decide what you were going to say to someone, go to say it, and have it all come out wrong?

    you're going to see her, you're going to miss her, and you won't be able to hide it

    do NOT see her again until you are over her

     
  10. nonplus

    nonplus New Member

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    i know it sounds ironic, but the fact that you're unable to cancel you're date proves that you're not ready to see her
     
  11. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    cancelling this sunday will probably mean that i wont see her ever again though :sad2:
     
  12. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    she hung out with nikita today... she said it was boring


    there is hope :x:
     
  13. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    there wont be hope if you keep talking to her. we are telling you these things for your own good. CUT ALL CONTACT NOW!
     
  14. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    she is the one talking to me. well, i IMed her earlier today, then she left to go hang out with nikita.... and then when she got back she IMed me :dunno:
     
  15. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    yeah we have all been there. but when it's your first time you dont really get the picture yourself
     
  16. nonplus

    nonplus New Member

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    you asked in the thread title how to get over her

    seeing her and feeling like shit isn't the way to do it

    cancel sunday. if she wants to see you, she'll plan something later

     
  17. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :werd:


    She is obviously already over this relationship, anyway. I am sorry to say this, but I am speaking from a female's point of view who has said some of the exact same things to an ex. It just seemed like a way to help ease the pain of the break up... by doing it slowly. And I also agree with the statement earlier that said she is probably already cheating on you. Also, hanging out with Nikita the other day? It wasn't boring. She was lying to you to make it seem like she is not breaking up with you because of him. She has moved on. I hope you can do the same. She sounds like a sleeze bag cunt anyway.
     
  18. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    women are vicious regardless of who its with.
     
  19. squeezemeNOW

    squeezemeNOW New Member

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    She sounds real shady to me - it seems as if shes an attention whore and I don't mean that in a derogatory way. shes too flirty and out there and take it from a girl who acted the same way with another guy it doesn't mean she doesn't love u- it means shes not ready to settle down and have u be the only guy she talks to. As in stopping her male friendships or frowning upong that thats the worst thing u can ever do to a girl unless her guy friends were an actual threat - i mean don't u trust her though. whats a relationship without trust even if the guys liked her - does that make it so that she'll cheat
     
  20. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    she really is just a kid. it's rediculous for your brother to convince her to be in a relationship. :wtf: let her live her own damn life. after all it's HER life. she's the only one that gets to make decisions because it only affects HER. you can let those decisions affect you or you don't have to. that's your choice but you do have one.

    it really is just hs. don't take it so seriously. learn what you did wrong and move on. i can totally see how you would react the way you did, but that's over now. in time you'll be able to see the mistakes you made. every year or so i make a realization about relationships i had 10-15 years ago. life is all about experiences. that's what makes it fun
     
  21. Jackal

    Jackal New Member

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    something similar happened to me. sadly man, she's seeing someone else, move on.
     
  22. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    i didnt frown on her... all i said was that i didn want to see it happening. she made it seem like i was making her choose between me and them :dunno:
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2005
  23. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    without reading this thread at all:


    grow some balls. pussy.
     
  24. Dalius

    Dalius Guest

    man if you make a thread asking for advice....and people give you the right advice, and you don't wanna take it, why make a thread in the first place? if you guys are in HS, then i realize it sucks when a relationship ends, ive been there quite a few times, but most HS relationships are just learning experiances for relationships post-hs...so take what you've learned from her and move on
     
  25. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    leave, learn, and move on.



    btw, lol ur name is vadim?
     

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