how do i get a girl out of this state of mind..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tehexile, Mar 19, 2006.

  1. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    "i just got done with a relationship, im not looking for a boyfriend, but i still want to hang out, and maybe later we can go out"?
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    You don't. She has to come out of that mindset herself. Just hang out with her, enjoy her company, and give her time.
     
  3. Coco Monkey

    Coco Monkey OT Supporter

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    alcohol will speed this process also. :hs:
     
  4. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    she doesnt really drink :hsd:
     
  5. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    she's not interested in you and that's her way of letting you down
     
  6. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Eh... maybe. If you do that though, you kinda run a high risk for being friendzoned.
     
  7. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    .
     
  8. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    mm usually i would agree with you... but considering that every time i see her at work she blushes, she flirts liek its her business, and my bro that works there too was talking to me and hes like "what do you think of emily?" and im like "shes cute" hes like "yea she has a big crush on you" so yea shoot that one down..
     
  9. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    You didn't say that in the first place, and now you come back with an "in your face, dumbass" immature attitude. It is your fault for not giving that important information out, and causing everyone to give you useless advice.

    There is still the possibility that she seriously isn't interested in you and just thinks you are fun to play with as a friend.

    On the other hand, if the brother was telling the truth, and i'm sure he was, then you can turn this around in your favor. My girlfriend and I would have never been together if I wouldn't have said one special line. If I would have still had the same knowledge of females now as I did in high school, I would have been friendzoned again.

    My girlfriend was scared to admit to me that she liked me, not knowing if I liked her first. One day we were texting each other, and I said "You like me, don't you?" to which she replied "Why?". I said "I can tell when girls like me, and I have a feeling that you do. You do, don't you?" -- She said the dreaded "Well, I like you, but just as a friend. Why do you ask?" At that point I was thinking "What?! She gives all the signals, but friendzones me? Most people would ask why I am dating this girl when I can do better, so why doesn't she like me?" --- Instead of going to my old chump instincts and saying "But why!? I'm a good guy!", I answered her "Why?" question with "Because you seem like a cool girl that is actually worth getting to know. I don't want to waste my time on a girl who doesn't like me, there are plenty others who do." --- I sent that message, and then she replied with "But you see, I do like you."

    Had I gone the pussy route and said "Oh okay, I see." or anything else, my girlfriend would be with some other guy with balls, rather than me. She didn't want to get embarrassed and tell me she liked me only to have me say "Haha, tool! I wouldn't date a girl like you!" She didn't know me all that well, but she knew that we had some of the same friends. She didn't know if I was an asshole that was going to go tell all of our friends about her getting rejected.

    Girls throw all kinds of hoops out for men to jump through. A lot of the stuff they say are tests just to see how you will react. Be prepared, and don't fail any of the tests a girl sends. Think about what you say before you say it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2006
  10. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    i didnt mean for that kinda attitude to go across... my b.... yea she knows that i like her, and that im looking for a gf. we were talking about my going to college (shes younger than me) and she said something along the lines of "in like a year when we're going out people will ask me who my boyfriend is and i can say 'pre-med'" so i think it will work out, shes great to hang out with and seems to like me alot (we went for food last night and she made a verbal point at how she wanted to sit next to me, not across) so theres all the good signs, just that she just got out of that relationship, so she wants time.. i just wanna speed that up a touch.
     
  11. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    The simple answer? Keep going the way you have been going. Chances are it'll speed itself up if you just keep acting natural around her. She'll cave at some point, I'm sure.
     
  12. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    i hope so... its been so long without a g/f and i need someone to go with me to prom :hs: go :highschool:
     
  13. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Maybe that's because he was met with an ignorant "universal meaning" sort of response. Whoever suggested it and/or supported it should have asked more questions before simply saying "oh that's just her way of letting you down easy".

    Every situation is unique. People who apply general rules like that to every situation aren't doing anyone any good.
     
  14. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Now I just think you are specifically picking arguments with me.

    Being the thread starter, he should control the way his thread is perceived. There should be no unanswered questions, and only perceived one possible way.

    BlazinBlazer Guy is cool because he gives intelligent responses, and argues important points. But he can also push his pride aside and admit when he was wrong about something, as any person with rhetorical skills does.

    Of all the things you could have picked out of my post, you pick the one that has nothing to do with the subject. I can already tell you're going to be like the little brother who has to have the last word on everything to save his pride.
     
  15. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    thats just her way of saying she doesnt want to date you. if she was attracted to you, it wouldnt matter where she was in life, or what other things were going on. shed find a way to be with you, or try.

    move on.
     
  16. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    read more of the thread next time...
     
  17. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    See what BlazinBlazer Guy did here?

    Instead of saying "Socrates, that was an ignorant response, here is the right thing to do!" ---- He didn't mention me at all, and gave his input. Now the threadstarter can read both pieces of advice, and decide for himself which he thinks is the better choice to make.

    It leaves out all of the unnecessary hostility, and keeps the atmosphere pleasant and helpful.

    You'll quickly find out in the vaginarium that you will get much more respect by staying polite and not offending people.
     
  18. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i read it all. doesnt make a damned dif. sorry kid.
     
  19. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    meh after work today, you're definitly wrong :fawk: im hanging out with her again tomorrow afternoon... shes definitly interested, but just wants to make sure shes completely over her ex before she starts something back up
     
  20. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    so why did you make this thread if you're so sure that you know her feelings?
     
  21. NJGuy

    NJGuy "Fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmef uckmefuckmefuckmefuckm OT Supporter

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    Dont just "hang out" with her.
    Keep your goals in clear site.
    Be persistant.... constantly try to advance.
    DO not let yourself get friend zoned.


    Id rather push a girl away from me with constant advances
    Then let myself be friend zoned by her and allways long for her.
    At least with option #1 you have a chance.
     
  22. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    ill hang around a while longer for the "my gf dumped me to date her ex...how do i get her back" thread.
     
  23. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    the obvious answer is to throw your dick down her anyway, and just treat it as friends with benefits. if something else eventuates great, else you're getting pussy.
     
  24. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Ok... Please allow me to explain my stance to you, Socrates.

    This isn't much information.

    This is the quote you sided with. This is an ignorant response because it is based on little more than assumption. Does every person have the same motives behind every action they take? No. There was not nearly enough information given to warrant such a solid response.

    This confirms that the responses you and jonno gave were presumptuous and wrong. It's an informal way of him saying, "No, I don't think that's it." You respond by scolding him with:

    You need to lighten up. He was not giving that disrespectful attitude you accuse him of giving. Your response is more like that of someone who feels like a fool because they blurted out something they shouldn't have, and when they are shown to be wrong, they feel embarassed. Whether or not that is how you feel, I don't know. But that is how your response looks.

    I stand by this. I didn't post it to chastize you, but to remind people that this forum is something for more mature and considerate responses than "Rule #33 - If she doesn't show interest in more than friendship right away, she's not interested in you at all."

    I'm not just trying to pick arguments with you. But I disagree with the way you went off on the thread starter because you gave premature, presumptuous advice without asking for the information you say he should have included. As someone voicing your opinion, is it not your responsibility to recognize when you have enough information to deduce something solid, and when you need more information? Certainly at least as much as it is his responsibility to "control the way his thread is perceived."

    That's fine and dandy. But you don't take that approach either, as you obviously didn't simply offer advice when he corrected your false perception. You scolded him for an attitude he didn't even present. You'd do well to take your own advice here. You also don't need to explain the way the Vag works. I've been here a while now. I understand how this forum works.

    In all honesty, I apologize for offending you with that initial response. I just felt you were being unfair to the thread
    starter, and suppose I was responding partially in his defense. My intention was not to offend, only to address a problem.
     
  25. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Me? I'd go on a date with another women and get "seen" by someone who knows her, or basically get the word back to her without telling her yourself.

    Funny what happens when a woman sees a guy who is successful with women ... and is with a different woman! ;)

    But for the record, I also agree with Lauren. If she really liked you, she wouldn't be giving you excuses.
     

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