SRS how do i approach this girl / situation?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by killer4605, Feb 3, 2007.

  1. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    There's a girl in my class that i've liked since the beginning of the year when we met. I have some kind of emotional attraction to her even though I don't know her besides a few in-class exchanges. This is the first girl since my ex that i've felt an emotional attachment to (as in, wanting a relationship) versus the numerous girls i've seen and know and there's only a physical attraction (damn, she's hot).

    Anyways, I didn't bother trying anything last semester because I found out she had a boyfriend of 3 years or so. I pretty much backed off to avoid being friendzoned and just talked to her every now and then and talked more to her friends (who were single). I didn't see her over christmas break for about 6 weeks and figured when I got back the attraction would be gone but it's still here.

    The good news is I found out she broke up with her bf about a month ago. I know confidence is key and I don't have any problems talking to her (mostly because i'm now in that mindset of "if it doesn't work, who cares") but it's been a LONG time since i've been with someone and dating and I don't even know where to begin. I'm not concerned with her just getting out of a relationship though. The way I see it is if she likes me and I like her, it'll work out. If not, it wasn't meant to happen.


    So, what I want to ask you guys.

    What are some good conversation openers?
    What kind of followup questions should I keep in mind to keep things rolling?


    What topics to avoid?
    What topics are cliche?


    Just give me the low down and dirty version of dating 101. I just need a refresher. My game is non-existant at this point.
     
  2. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    Be yourself. Don't avoid any topics. If things click, they click.
     
  3. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    Talking about previous relationships is ok?

    Should I avoid talking about that since she just broke up with him recently?
     
  4. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    What about conversation openers or followup questions? I have a problem with keeping conversations flowing with people I don't know well. I find it hard to make new friends basically... I've come a long way on that this year, but i've found a "comfort" zone with the friends i've made here and I haven't had the motivation to expand further.

    I just need some general social tips really. I know all of the be yourself and don't be timid info.
     
  5. 311-420

    311-420 New Member

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    DONT talk about previous relationships if you arent in one with her already ...i know this much
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Oh come on. You know what's meant here. Certainly you should just talk about what naturally interests you.

    And just as certainly it doesn't make sense to talk about your ex's -- esp. since you seem like one to obsess over it. So FOR YOU, might as well steer into more fruitful areas of conversation.



    Just like say....oh maybe you're a chronic bedwetter. Likewise, even though you should be able to talk about generally 'anything'...you might want to save that one for later.


    And so, in a like vein, let's just leave the wailing and commiserating over ex's for a later time.
    If she wants to bring up her ex....feh, give her a moment.... and then let's just move on to something that more mutually enjoyable.

    There's no need for you to sit through a recitation of her troubles with the ex.
    He's an EX. Leave it that way.

    It's as juvenile as if she spent the whole evening crabbing to you about what Jenny Sims was wearing in the sixth fucking grade. You just want to shout at her GET OVER IT!
    I'm here for some fun, not to be your dewrag, and nor your friendzoned cuddlebuddy

    And if she doesn't bring up her ex, ..why would YOU bring that up? The most you might say is something like..."so you and Craig are done right...GOOD...let's talk about US"


    The focus of the evening should be YOU and HER and the mutual fun you two are having.

    Bitching about an ex, either HERS or YOURS....is NOT my idea of a good time.



    And remember: If you or her are honestly so tortured over an ex that it MUST be the main topic of conversation, and you absolutely CANNOT think of anything else....then you're not ready to seriously date yet; you're clearly not free of your past.
     
  7. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    You really shouldn't be talking about YOU unless she asks. You should be genuinely interested in her, and she'll tell you all about herself if she's interested in you. Generally speaking, you don't impress women by talking about you. You impress them by LISTENING and responding. Thats the only way you steer the conversation in a way that provokes interest.
     
  8. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    thank you all for your input. i will make sure to re read these replies tomorrow since i am to drunk to understand a damn thing right now. i honestly really appreciate it though.
     
  9. xotox

    xotox xotox

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    Have you ever talked with her?
     
  10. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    :bowdown: thank you for taking the time to type that out and address everything I brought up!
     
  11. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    yes I have. i've gone out to lunch with her crew of girls and my group of guys before. we sat beside each other and talked for a bit. besides that we talk in class once in a while. she never starts the convo though. i usually sit behind her.
     

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