SRS How can I tell my ex she has a drinking problem

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tombennnettt, Jul 26, 2005.

  1. tombennnettt

    tombennnettt My user text is better than yoru user text :squint

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    We went out last year and broke up in august and since then for the most part weve been pretty good friends. But for the past several months she has become a alcoholic stoner. Which dont get me wrong i dont have a problem with either, but shes only 15 and weighs a whopping 80 some odd pounds. But she drinks like a 40 year 300lb man. And she has been doing it almost everyday. Like tonight she told me she got drunk and walked out in the middle of the street and almost got hit by a truck. Another thing that makes it harder is that she lives in Massachusetts and i moved to New York, so im not in walking distance to sit down and have a chate ith her anymore. How can i tell her that im worried about her and that i care without sounding like im obsessive and controling. I really am starting to worry :sad2:
     
  2. tombennnettt

    tombennnettt My user text is better than yoru user text :squint

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    Cliffs: 15 year old ex has adrinking problem and i dont know how to tell her.
     
  3. Porquechop

    Porquechop New Member

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    But, is she telling you these things for attention? Because it sounds like that could be... you're far away, and sometimes young girls say stuff that is exaggerated or just not true for attention (I was a 15 year old girl once and did things exactly like that :o ).

    No matter how you say it, a person with a true drinking problem isn't going to like hearing about it. Just tell her you are worried about her and love her like a true friend. No need to be too preachy about it. If you think she is going to die over it, call her folks or even some mutual friends who live close to her. Better to lose the friendship than to have her dead, just my opinion, you need to live with what you could have done.

    I hope she is exaggerating, but if not, I hope she gets the help she needs. She is lucky to have you in her life, even from afar.
     
  4. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    You can't. She won't hear you.

    You need to do 2 things...

    1. tell her parents, unless they're the reason she's drinking
    2. get her out of your life and tell her that her boozing is the reason you're doing it.

    Maybe someday you'll hear from her and she'll thank you, saying it was the wake-up call she needed, or maybe one day you'll hear from someone she's dead. Hate to say it but there's nothing else you can do.
     
  5. red

    red New Member

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    I had a close friend with a meth problem. Myself and two other close friends tried to reason with him for 6 months before we went to his parents. Telling his parents began a lengthy saga of pain on the part of everyone in involved, but waiting 6 months to do it was a stupid move on our part -- we should have told them immediately, and maybe it wouldn't have lasted so long. At the very least it would have ended sooner. He's been sober about 9 months as of now (previously, he considered 3 days an accomplishment of note).

    People with addiction problems really need to deal with them on their own, but if she's 15 and living with mom and dad, they need to know so that they can help as best they can.
     
  6. Peeps

    Peeps New Member

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    Do you talk to anyone that she hangs out with? If you do ask them if she is really drinking heavly or if she is just trying to get attention. If she really does have a problem I agree with what everyone has said. You NEED to tell her parents. She is still really young and if they get her help now she has a better chance of straightening her life out. Best of luck to you and her.
     
  7. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    Honestly? She needs to hit rock bottom before she realizes she has a problem. Most addicts whether it be alcohol, cocaine or whatever don't think they have a problem until they hit rock bottom.
     
  8. Coozone

    Coozone Dat my city

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    well, if your really a man like you claim you are, you will go up to her and say "you drink way to fucking much and im worried". grow some balls and just do it.
     
  9. Ivy Mike

    Ivy Mike New Member

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    tell her parents.

    tell her later.
     
  10. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    moving this to the asylum. its not about personal drinking problems, so it doesn't really belong in road to recovery. for the thread starter though, i recommend reading some of the material in "road to recovery." Quite a few threads have been made concerning the problems of loved ones.
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Im going for telling the parents, even if they are the problem for her starting to drink, with a little luck they throw her in rehab, and by the time that she is out, she'll be able to live and work on her own.
     

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