SRS how can i make conversation longer?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by rYu, Nov 11, 2009.

  1. rYu

    rYu OT Supporter

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    i just cant seem to make conversation interesting or make it long enough.
     
  2. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    making convo interesting is more important than making it longer

    and it comes with practice

    often times a good convo is beginning to talk about familiar things and segueing into new things or ideas-- and instead of asking questions you make statements and kind of leave open-ended opportunities for the person to come back with good comments

    and, of course, IMO the most important aspect of a convo is the willingness to walk away and knowing when you should-- if you're on a hotstreak in a convo you might push it and have it fizz or you can excuse yourself for whatever reason and leave on that hot note

    at the same time you shouldn't overanalyze convo, but rather just have it and get comfortable with it

    so practice on cashiers, waiters, and random people (and obviously your friends) until you get REALLY comfortable talking to anybody

    I think what really kills people in convos is them thinking they are not good conversationalists-- then it's just awkward. Some people I know just say REALLY WEIRD SHIT all the time and it's really awkward. But then if you call them awkward they'll just say they're joking and hide behind that excuse.

    And smile, because that's what a nice convo is meant to do-- keep everyone smiling and interested
     
  3. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    ^^ Just to emphasize: a lot of what being a good conversationalist is is knowing when to cut it off... I'd rather talk to a really interesting person for 2 minutes than a really mediocre person for 10.
     
  4. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    #1 way, ask questions, and actually listen to the answers.

    if you want to seem interesting, most of the time you have to talk less and listen more.
     
  5. rYu

    rYu OT Supporter

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    ^ i know what you are saying. i get stopped at a lot of places, people trying to start a conversation by saying stuff like "yeah, what a nice weather". "so where are you heading to?" ect ... i cant seems to carry on a convo after one short answer.
     
  6. rYu

    rYu OT Supporter

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    maybe im too fucking shy. i had anthrophobia growing up as a kid. could this be a problem?
     
  7. RuskeR

    RuskeR ReksuR

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    Bingo!
     
  8. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    Oh, I'm going to Coast Mountain Sports to pick up my skis. I got them waxed for the season and I can't wait till there's enough base to go to Louise, it's my favorite spot.

    Do you ski?

    or

    Where are you headed?

    And then let them do most of the talking by leading the conversation off of cues they give. If they led the conversation they would ask you about Louise, how long you have skied, do you do any other winter sports? Are you excited for the Olympics in a few months, etc...

    For the weather you could comment about the nice weather and how you are going to take advantage of it by doing activity x. Then if they don't pick up on it, ask them what are their plans for the day.
     
  9. haargerman

    haargerman ayuh.

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    A conversation is like a tennis match...back and forth...
     
  10. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    answer, comment. question.
    answer, comment. question.
    answer, comment. question.


    "the store, I like your style. where do you shop?"
    "the gym, I'm getting fat. where do you work out?"
    "the grocery, I need some milk. where do you shop?"
    "the barber, I look like shit. where do you get your hair cut?"



    ..........then listen.
     
  11. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    why do you even post
     
  12. twenty

    twenty resident nerd

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    Seriously man? This thread was full of good, useful information until you came along.

    Like said, ask some questions and be a good listener. Bit the bullet, grow some balls and strike up a conversation...it's a good feeling afterwords.
     
  13. Igneous

    Igneous \\ OT Supporter

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    listening helps a lot. Normally when you listen to what someone is saying you can process it and give a real reply, something you thought about before you said. Distractions can be a tough one too, dont gaze around the room or look at other things, eye contact is usually good, with a gentle smile if its a stranger you're approaching too.

    Even if you say something awkward, try not to bee to serious about it (perhaps situational). for example, I was with a woman Friday night and I said something (that i cant remember now :420:) that just made us both go silent for a few seconds, then i said to her "that was really awkward, the silence, and while it was silent i was thinking "hmmm should i say something to break this silence" because its weird" and while saying this to her we both started laughing and shes says thats exactly what was going through her head too. Needless to say it was easier for us to communicate after this.
     

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