SRS How can I help my dad?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tie00, Jul 9, 2006.

  1. tie00

    tie00 New Member

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    I have been concerned about my father's health for as long as I can remember. Let me start off by saying that he is currently 53 years old. He is overweight, has high blood pressure (which he has to take lots of medication for), bad cholesterol, and he gets stressed out over the smallest things. He is what I call an "on and off" smoker. He started smoking when he was a teenager and finally quit around his 30s only to pick the habit up again a few years later. Once again, he decided to quit and eventually he ended up smoking AGAIN. This pattern has gone on for quite some time now. He also is known to smoke cigars.
    The only exercise that he ever really gets is when he is at work where he has to do a lot of walking around.
    His diet is most definitely not the healthiest. He has a problem with over-using mayonnaise and butter, and he eats LOTS of beef. The only good things that he ever eats is garlic and vegetables.
    So here's my question: How do I let him know nicely that I would like for him to get in shape and clean up his diet?
    I have this great fear that he is going to die soon of a heart attack or some other health problem. :wtc:
    He was adopted and we know nothing about his real parents, so I have no clue of what health problems his family has.
     
  2. Fiya

    Fiya Guest

    That's a sticky situation. I'm kindof in the same boat with my mom who is really just an extremely heavy smoker. She gets extremely offended when I bring up not only the fact that she smokes in general, but the fact that she smokes TOO MUCH.

    I think most people are aware of their flaws, but just don't care enough about themselves to really do something about it. I think, the more love and support people get, the more likely they are to take care of themselves, because they will notice others taking care of them.

    In sight of that, I think your best bet is just to be supportive, maybe offer to make dinner or something. Spend more time with him and encourage siblings/other family members to do the same. If you do make him dinner, then try picking up your own ingredients, like low-fat butter, etc. Also, if you really want to, suggest a walk afterwards. You'll get some bonding time in, and also be excersizing. And might I mention, nowhere in doing this should you mention his weight or health, because that would probably upset him and make him less likely to take advantage of your offers.

    I would try and make it like a once a week thing, start a trend of you making dinner, and the two of you going on a walk/talk afterwards. Once you're naturally in the habbit of doing these things, then you might feel comfortable actually dropping the 'why' bomb. :hs: And he might actually be surprised that you cared so much to do this for him, and in light of that, he may take his own initiatives.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The best offence is defence. I kept on hammering to my dad that he should quit smoking every day and got angry about it and left the room everytime he would lit on. When he got ill, i hammered even more and this made him give in and realise it was a bad habit. Currently he has stopped smoking for years. :bowdown:
     
  4. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    My dad isnt the best model for a healthy human being he eats actual food like pork and potatoes etc not really junk food. He is overweight and has high blood pressure and bad cholestrol. However, my mother has tried for 29 years to help him eat right its been to no avail. We all have to do his swing atkins diets with him. Unfortunately, until he may have a heart attack or something that serious he may not ever truly get how much hes trashing his body. I know you dont want that to happen but maybe a wake up call is needed to get a point across.

    Good Luck to you. I hope you can get through to him.
     
  5. Fiya

    Fiya Guest

    chances are though, that he already knew it was a bad habit and just didn't care. badgering some one really isn't a good idea though, because it could go the other direction real quick...
     
  6. redna

    redna New Member

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    Maybe being nice isnt the way to go... Tell him that you're really concerned for his health and that he needs to start watching his diet and habits.


    Or, you could take the tricky stand point and try to incorperate some exercise into his daily routine by asking him to join you for a run because you need a running buddy. Or asking him to go play soccer with you. Or asking him to go hiking. Anything that you can use to get him out of the house with you, you can use the bonding time excuse for. You just want to spend time with him.

    In time, he will realize that he is very out of shape and it might click to him that he needs to get his act together.

    It sounds like he just isnt motivated to keep himself up. Try using fun things to do like hiking, biking, etc. instead of "Hey Dad.. lets hit the gym". He'll concentrate more on having fun and not working out... but the benefits are there.


    I'm going to be asking my dad to do a sprint triathlon with me in september. I'm hoping i can sell him into it because i think he'll like it and it's gratifying in the end to be able to say that he did it. I think though that my dad will probably decline although he is an outdoorsy type.


    Maybe I'll try an adventure team race. You could use that fact that it was something you REALLY wanted to do, but couldn't find a team mate that you wanted to do it with... hence your father.

    He'll have to train for something like that, and he'll get the gratification of competing in a race.


    Jsut a few ideas.
     
  7. Original Username

    Original Username New Member

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    My dad has been out of shape for a while and I became out of shape as well but not to the degree that he is. He just made poor diet decisions. I decided to get back into shape and I did (lost over 20 lbs). Currently, he's starting to eat better. I was a little bit of an inspiration I guess.
     

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