[FONT="] (Sorry it's long- but informative)?[/FONT] [FONT="]I guess it's a mean thing to say, but my parents raised me wrong. My mom gave me way too much importance as a kid and I was very popular in middle school / early high school. This led me to have a lot of self confidence, but at the same time, I come off as extremely arrogant and self centered to people. Even my teachers used to tell my parents that I was way too proud and sometimes mean. I put a lot of kids down back in the day (I regret it now of course). I used to pick on them based on looks and even called a lot of people stupid, since I always competed for the top or second spot in my class. (In my school we had positions, kids with the highest scores were given first second and third, and I usually came in second). I honestly always thought I was just as much of an *** as everyone else, but I never realized how rude I was till I got in college. I would not even respond or talk to people who I thought were boring or not good looking etc etc. And since I was shallow, if I felt like someone was better than me, I'd build a defensive wall around me, acting like an a hole to them too. This led people to put me down so I'd lose my arrogance, but it only hurt my self esteem in the end. Now I look back at some of the things I say, and I realize that I often hurt people's feelings, even if it's someone who I liked and am head over heels with (especially ladies) . So I ended up being all alone. (Sort of, I mean I have ppl who I hang out with, but it's not the same, I have no extremely close friends anymore) It all came to me when one time I heard a girl talking to my room mates, and telling them that I was very arrogant and she wasn't sure what my problem was. On the other hand I always thought I was very friendly, I always used to fold her laundry downstairs and never acted rude to her. At that point I started acting nice and I came off as very fake, it led me to have depression etc etc. Now lately I have noticed how fond of people I get if I realize that they have a very good personality and are very friendly. A nurse for example, totally blew me away by her confidence and her openness. She was average at best, but it attracted me to her like a magnet, I couldn't help but want to be just like her. So here is my question. How exactly can a man be nice and friendlier to people?, without coming off as a fake. Now I can be shallow sometimes, but I am slowly working on it, and I think I have came a long way. But are there any specific tips which could help me? Like is it best to give a fake smile to someone you completely don't know? or is it ok to just act normal, instead of smiling. But I have strong features so I look very serious unless I smile. Lately, I crack or joke or two at start to ease up the tension, but sometimes I can't think of any.