SRS how can doing the right thing make me feel so shitty?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Vixxen, Jan 8, 2007.

  1. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    my best friend always says i never stand up for myself, never ask for what i want, never complain when i'm hurt.

    well, i did that.

    and now i've lost something that was pretty important to me. :wtc:

    yes, i know i've not given any details but i'm just rambling
     
  2. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    thanks. i needed that. :sadwavey:
     
  3. whatever

    whatever OT Supporter

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    did you loose yourself? I doubt it. in which case you didnt loose the most important part...

    its tough at first but when you realize that "yourself" is the utter top of the list it becomes easyier. It also becomes easyier when you become satisfied with yourself
     
  4. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    myself?

    yeah, i think i did a little and i can't get it back
     
  5. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    if (gender == male)
    Well, he obvious was mis treating you if you weren't being respected.

    else if(gender == female)
    Well, she obvious was mis treating you if you weren't being respected.

    else
    conservative brain overloading with liberalism. :eek3:
     
  6. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    i didn't think respect was an issue, but maybe you're right
     
  7. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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  8. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    In general you're self-respect should always go above pleasing people. People and things come and go, depend on yourself and plan.
     
  9. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    seems like i've always had trouble with the "pleasing people" part.
     
  10. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    There is no need to please people. It's just important that you uphold your values and maintain mutual equality and respect with everyone.
     
  11. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    it's not really a need to please with me. i enjoy making people happy and it always gives me a sense of fulfillment. the problem is i can't tell whether or not i'm getting take advantage of.
     
  12. whatever

    whatever OT Supporter

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    yea theres your fundamental problem. your sense of fulfillment in other peoples happyiness will lead you to live a life of no happyness within yourself. this of course leads to a shallow life of putting yourself in a shitty siutation for you, and not protecting what is most important. yourself.
     
  13. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    If you can't distinguish then don't play the game. Because eventually you'll feel put down to the point that you can't enjoy making people happy. And you're being taken advantage of when the other person doesn't care of is aware of the effect their taking has on you.
     
  14. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    well lately the "high" i get from giving diminishes faster and i am left feeling empty.
     
  15. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    Cuz you're not getting something in return. Doesn't mean you should go a mission to take what's yours.
     
  16. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    You are being taken advantage of if you are unhappy with what you do and / or you feel obliged to help others.
     
  17. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    thanks. i've got a lot to think about.
     
  18. ZippytheClown

    ZippytheClown New Member

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    She asked you to be more assertive? What do you think? Were you comfortable being the way you were? If it wasn't hurting anyone then why change? Like most things it takes practice being assertive, sometimes we overshoot, but if you keep at it you will find your sweet spot. One thing about being assertive its the tall blade of grass that gets the mower first.
     
  19. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    dunno. i guess i thought i was a chickenshit for not speaking up when something upset me but i'm not a confrontation person. if it's something minor i can live without arguing about it. i think she wanted me to express my feelings more. the only problem i had with this was expressing the negative, though. i don't know. it felt good to speak my mind and i'm still doing it. i can't stop. it's like diarrhea of the mouth, but i don't know if what i'm saying even makes sense anymore
     

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