SRS how accurate is your "gut feeling"

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by familyguy101, Aug 16, 2008.

  1. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    lets say you suspect that your gf had a fling recently. No evidence really, except for the fact that she has been going out of town with her friends the last 3 weekends in a row, and she doesn't really like to talk about what they did while they were out of town.

    Something in my gut is telling me that she did something bad and I feel I need to know the truth. She keeps telling me she loves me almost everyday, so obviously she will deny it. How do I get the truth?
     
  2. Naygrow

    Naygrow .

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    follow them
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You should listen to your gut feeling as it is often right,
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Assuming you both work full time, ditching a SO 3 weekends in a row is a little uncalled for.

    I would sit down with her, and say "Hey, we are both pretty busy with our lives and work, weekends are when we both have the most time to spend with each other. I'd like to know when we can spend some time together. We need to go out and have a fun day or two to ourselves. I ABSOLUTELY understand the need to have time with friends, but 3 weekends in a row is more than a lot of friends hang out together when they are in a relationship."

    Maybe not exactly that, but you need to let her know that you are concerned, want to spend time with her, and want to make it happen. This way you are hopefully getting her to talk, without stepping over the line and accusing her of cheating without evidence.

    Definitely needs to be addressed though, talk to her ASAP.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Other than the fact that I still stand by the idea that you two should've broken up months ago.....I read this statistic the other day

    "Experts say that a gut instinct is the most powerful indicator of a cheating lover. Adultery statistics state that 85% of woman who feel their lover is cheating are correct. 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. The first clue is seldom obvious. Typically, it's a "feeling" that something is different."

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3899207
     
  6. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Always dead on. Every single damn time.
     
  7. RedZ71

    RedZ71 Large Marge sent me.

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    probably falls into the same category of gut feelings as: "if its too good to be true..", and "where there is smoke, theres fire".
     
  8. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    I find that my gut feeling is always right.
     
  9. Welsh0913

    Welsh0913 OT Supporter

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    6 Sigma.
     
  10. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    Talk about trusting your gut instinct. I called her earlier tonight and talked with her a little. I asked her how many people she is with. She said 6 including herself. Then she mentioned that she feels like a 5th wheel because there are 2 couples there and they are all over each other. So, I asked if the other person was a guy. She said yes, but that I can trust her and she would never do anything to lose me.

    So basically she is 5 hours away with 2 couples and an extra guy and she feels like a 5th wheel because the couples are all over each other. They are staying there for 3 nights and they are drinking. Sounded way too fishy to me so I called back and she didn't answer so I left a message. I told her not to bother calling me when she gets back in town because I am breaking up with her.

    This isn't the first time she has put herself in this kind of position. 4th time actually and she knows that I hate it. So in my opinion the breakup was justified, I would just never be able to believe that nothing happened.

    Good bye girl.
     
  11. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Good call, broly.
     
  12. kenlee

    kenlee New Member

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    Sounds about right to me. My gut has yet to let me down when it comes to a cheating spouse.
     
  13. BlackWRX

    BlackWRX New Member

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    I have been in that type of situation before and I would have never been able to handle it like that. Good job.

    If it's a situation that keeps occurring, you know that she isn't in the same place that you thought she was and there is no point in forcing it.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Finally. Thank god.
     
  15. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    why didn't you go with her?
     
  16. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    My guess is that she fed him some excuse about it being her and her girlfriends, he wouldn't have fun, etc.

    She was probably trying to distance herself from him and the relationship (evidenced by being away 3 weekends in a row, an at least 5 hours away this time). You can't get much more obvious about this...she was broadcasting loud and clear "I don't want to spend time with you!"
     
  17. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    maybe, but what she says is the deciding indicator for me as to whether or not she was cheating.
     
  18. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    she said that all the people she was with have been her friends for years. She said she's known that "extra" guy since the 7th grade and she is 19 now.

    The first time she went, she didn't say shit to me. I just texted her one night and asked if she wanted to hang out. She said "im in Michigan". I was like WTF? The second time she asked me to come, but I felt offended from the first time so I turned her offer down. This time she simply told me through a text "i'm going to Michigan again tomorrow".

    Out of nowhere I get my gut feeling. I called her, found out that there are 3 guys, 3 girls, and broke up with her. Dumb bitch.
     
  19. Matt550

    Matt550 New Member

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    My "gut feeling" has never let me down. It gets really strong when I meet people. If they are hiding something bad or just not a good person, I will pick up on it.

    When my dads friend would come around I would feel almost sick to my stomach, turns up he had major problems and alot of people where not happy with him. I was not told anything more then that, I would assume some sort of drug/gambling problem. But I always knew something wasnt right.

    My cousins friend is another one. Whenever he comes around I get this really strong feeling like he is up to something, and not in a good way. Its really hard to explain what these feelings are, but they have yet to let me down.
     
  20. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    :dunno:
     
  21. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

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    logic > emotions
     
  22. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    I'm not sure that's what we can conclude from the article. They say that "most participants made choices predicted by their subjective preferences for certain attributes (for example, safety, security, colour or price), regardless of the mode of thinking employed."

    So basically, consciously choosing does not lead to a better objective decision but to a better subjectively appealing decision, which in turn can increase satisfaction with this decision afterward.
     
  23. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    Totally agree, I mean if you don't have any evidence or reason for the doubt then let it drop. I think it's easier to bounce the idea off on people more than a wall, so speak up. Don't accuse her of cheating without any solid proof. Even with proof most cheaters will never admit it. I don't know if that's for all, but that's in my experience 4 out 5 still lie about it to this day. I don't like this situation, and I think your "gut" might be in the right direction. You need to talk to her as to why you guys aren't spending time together, and where you guys are at.
     
  24. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    That's evidence enough for me. If she doesn't want to talk about it she obviously did something she's ashamed of, and whether she cheated or not she needs to be honest with me about everything.

    edit: :h5:
     
  25. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    I'd just save gas money and put a good keylogger on the computer. You'll find out soon enough.
     

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