Discussion in 'On Topic' started by 1200mk, Jun 2, 2007.
If that is the case, a few of the girls i've dated would have made terrible wives.
I'd say it would only be accurate if her and her mom have a lot in common, as in she takes after her mom and not her dad. I still wouldn't use that to judge her though because she may have seen what her mom is like and learned from her mistakes.
Nah, it's not good to judge anyone...their Ma? Good Heavens...everyone if different, unique, and special in their own way regardless of their parent(s).
Focus on the girl, not the Ma.
It can be accurate or a difference as big as day and night. It something you need to evaluate over time, besides not all moms are horror objects , maby you just had bad experiences with their mothers because they are protective of their daughters?
not accurate at all in my opinion
Man I hope not, I want to be the 180* of my mom.
You'll be dissapointed.
A girl grew up with a mom, and depending on the level of intimacy with her, will determine her mannerisms that are in common with her mom. She is going to pick up a large part, because for a good part of her life, that is the only guide to what a "woman" should be. Kind of like the old saying when it comes to men "You marry your mom." It's not a question of upbringing, but influences.
It plays out, every girl carrys a large part of her mom in her personality.
fairly accurate, but it's more accurate to judge by the girl's entire family system, not just the mother alone.
The mother role, is dominant, that's true but keep in mind this role can be filled by persons other than the biological mother, and can be shared as a composite.
And keep in mind the age range that you're dealing with. What may seem like a 180 degree direction from the mother as a teenager or young adult, often changes later in life.
I know many 30 somethings that seem to become increasingly like their parents with every passing year.
not accurate at all a lot of the girls I've dated had similar personalities but it ended there
I couldn't disagree more. I think part of what causes girls to take on traits of their mother is having a certain level of respect/admiration for her that makes them subconsciously try to act like her. From my experience and from several of my friends, growing up aware that we did not want to be like our mothers or make their mistakes has led us to become completely different than them. I am nothing like my mother (a fact I thank God for daily) and I don't think that it is the inevitable fate of every female.
i agree. there are just too many variables.
At 25 I find myself becoming more and more like my mother every day... but I don't consider that a bad thing either, because my mother is a great woman. I also have a lot of qualities of my dad and the rest of my extended family, and again, most of them are great people. The ones who arent, are the ones I make special note to NOT be like.
So I think it depends. If the girl likes her mom and looks to her as a role model, then its possible she will end up being quite a bit like her. But if the girl recognizes her mother's faults, some of them might come out in her just because that is what she grew up with, but more than likely she will make a special effort not to inherit those faults.
For me, it just depends on your definition of becoming like her mother.. Yea, I've picked up some of the same mannerisms, cooking styles, cleaning habits etc but that's also due to proximity during youth.
As far as the raise I'll raise my children and treat my husband, that is 100% different. Besides a bit of overcompulsive behavior, I have picked up very little of my moms personality and I pride myself on that. If she and I were closer, I am pretty sure I would become a clone of her.