hmmm going to be reunited with "best friend"..... possible second chance?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by jackjohnson, Aug 28, 2007.

  1. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    edit: cliffs
    friendzone all 4 years of college with my best friend
    dropped out of school and site for 3 years
    figured my shit out
    contacted her again, we are going to meet up
    ????

    I guess this might be a little long and a little too much life story but bear with me...

    Ok so anyway last night I accidently dug up some 35mm photography slides from my college days (01-04). The last slide was of my best friend from all four years of college. I was in the friend zone hall of fucking fame. Like really badly; I must've made 11ty threads on OT about how my life sucks, etc. I mean it was so bad that during the first 3 years I never attempted to go for another girl. I did everything wrong (ie: scheduled all my classes around her :hsugh: ) I had a pretty uneventful high school years, and had 0 experience when it came to girls.

    By the 4th year I pretty much got a grasp on it and started to get over it. Pretty much all of college I was completely lost, dead broke, cc debt, piece of shit car, depressed, failed like 75% of my classes, had no self esteem/confidence. Looking back I understand why I had 0 chance with her or anyone for that matter.

    Things started to change my last semester at school. I figured out what I wanted to do with my life, and could hang out with her all day with out wanting to slit my wrists. The friend zone referee would pop his head out and kick me in the nuts from time to time but it wasn't too bad. I remember one of our last conversations she told me out of no where "I'd marry you if you weren't jackjohnson." I was dumbfounded and she said "no no no you don't understand, I'd marry you if you weren't.... jackjohnson". Uhm "ok"- Sucks to be jackjohnson.

    So my last semester I'm doing awesome in my graphic design classes, photography, typography, etc. I'm figuring out that this is exactly what I want to do the rest of my life. But by then the academic probation from 3 years of trying engineering had already caught up, and even if I could continue I just didn't have the funds for school. So I had to drop out. I disappeared from school, from her, her family whom I was very close to, from all my friends, everything.

    The next three years were a blur. I locked myself in my parents house and taught my self design and focused solely on myself. Until I had a portfolio, until I had a job at the local sign shop, all the way up until I got the job I wanted when i was in school. A lot has changed. I moved out, handled my bills, have a new car, understand girls a lot more (thanks to OT), have at least 3-4 passions, have friends again, confidence, etc. Pretty much just became a man. 180'ed from everything in college.

    So anyway last night I'm looking at this slide and I'm almost in tears. Not because she was the one that got away but just because she was one of the best friends I ever had. She's standing in a hallway in front of her class. It was probably the last time I walked her to that class, I was probably supposed to the following thursday but I disappeared and ignored all her calls.

    Which explains why she never answered my email two years ago, or my voicemail one year ago. Can't really blame her. So I slept on it for a night (or tried to sleep on it). And decided for a third and final try; I just sent her a simple text saying "hey something reminded me of you. hope all is well- jackjohnson". So she could ignore it, or maybe she had a different number by now. But lo and behold she responded with in 30 sec's. We exchanged a bunch of texts updating our lives, and she eventually happily agreed that we meet up again.

    Now there is a 75% chance that she's still with her b/f from back then. Who is actually a really good guy, but I never gave him a chance and hated him for obvious reasons. Possibly even engaged or planning on it. I pretty much just want to be friends again. but there is that little voice in the back of my head telling me how badass this would be if it could come full circle (0.001% chance).

    so yeah I don't know exactly what I'm asking for here, or what I'm getting into.
     
  2. Hunt

    Hunt Active Member

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    first off, props to you for figuring your shit out - takes some hardcore determination to do that.

    I don't really have much advice for you - I just wanted to congratulate you on your 180, but I would also say that unfortunately I wouldn't walk into a situation like that with high hopes; you mind end up feeling worse afterwards. :o

    But hey, the best of luck to you. :bigthumb:
     
  3. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Sounds like you are not over her and for that reason I would say to keep your distance. You have worked very hard to turn your life around, and the last thing you need is to revert back to that college mentality and let her lack of desire to date you rule your life and cause depression.

    Meet with her and see how things are, catch up, etc... If you feel yourself wanting her again, I would keep your distance. If you REALLY can start up a friendship with her and not be messed up by it then good for you man.

    Just be careful not to undo all the changes/progress you've made just for this one girl.
     
  4. natalie5445

    natalie5445 Frau Blücher

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    Wow, props for getting your shit together.
     
  5. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    yeah thanks guys for the props.

    I don't know. It's not like I stopped talking to her because of the friendzone thing. I had done that once or twice before prior (summers in between semesters) and that helped out a lot.

    Also, right now I'm currently dating someone that I'm also very interested in.

    From what I remember I was really getting over it right before I cut all ties. I was treating her bf normally and realizing that he's a cool guy. And I really wasn't letting the one-itis run me anymore.

    In the past couple of days I just realized a lot of little things about our friendship that I failed to see because of my stupid intentions at the time. Just stupid little things like we would make fun of each other all day and then we would be eating dinner with her family and she would go "jackjohnson called me a lowballing jew today dad... what does that mean?" (she's jewish btw haha). Just the stupid little fun things like that.

    I don't know, then there is always the part in the back of my mind that says "yeah you guys are exactly a like why not?" :mad:
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2007
  6. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    Congrats on getting your life back in order, it is pretty tough to do.

    I wouldn't get my hopes up or anything (like you had said), but I would hang out and catch up.
     
  7. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    After a long period of absence from a person where that person can accept in their mind that you made deep identity level change (and your acting different is not just a facade), it is possible to get out of the friendzone for that second chance. But be warned that she will probably serve as an anchor for the states and the personality you used to have so you have to convince and ALLOW yourself to BE the man you've become now and to act like him instead of your former self.

    Good luck, and update?
     
  8. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    yeah it's quite a weird situation for me. I think it's more of an experiment for myself if anything. Really not expecting to get her out if it all, but I will learn a lot and it would be nice to have a good friend back.

    I'm busy this week and into the next week. Probably can meet up with her the weekend after next :x: update will follow
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2007
  9. Jacy

    Jacy red lipstick brigade

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    sounds like you've gotten your life together :hug:


    good luck with this
     
  10. Chau

    Chau if i wanted to kill you, i would've come in here s

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    how'd it go? about to do the same thing w/ an old friend :noes: :o
     
  11. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    please dont fuck this up. u have potential bro
     
  12. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    You are walking into a trap.
     
  13. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I only read about half your message.

    I just came in here to say that Jack Johnson is the tits. :bigthumb:
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I HATE whoever bumped this and make me waste my time reading this old thread.
     
  15. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    Instructions for threads when you're a mod:

    Step 1) Put a hole in the box...

    errr... wait, wrong steps

    Step 1) If you haven't seen it, click on the first page and note the date.
    Step 2) if someone has been digging in the thread graveyard for no good reason, lock it and let it die (again).
    Step 3) ???
    Step 4) Profit
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: Yeah I've had to do that a lot lately. I was just upset because I read the WHOLE first post and got emotionally invested...then noticed the date and said FUCK! :mamoru:
     
  17. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    women..............




    :mamoru:
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Let me rephrase that. I was very ready to write a somewhat harsh or masculine post back about how he needs to move on past that girl :rofl:
     
  19. Killuminati

    Killuminati New Member

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