MMA hillarious xmas story non mma related

Discussion in 'OT Bar' started by The Ripper, Dec 25, 2008.

  1. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    So I go to this xmas party that wasnt to crazy it was more of a getty with some people I know and a whole lot of people I dont know. There was this guy at the party that was a real scum bag, freind of a freind of a freind type shit. So hes there at the party bragging about how he isnt going to take care of his kid because he pulled some shit. I got a little curious and asked him what shit he pulled.

    Bassically he got this chick pregnant and he knew for a fact that the kid was his but for what ever reason he didnt want to raise a kid with the chick. He then went on to say how the chick was super loyal this that and the other. He then told me that he ordered a fake id online with holograms and everything that swipes through and said he put all his info on it and had his freinds picture on it.

    Even told me the site to get it. He then had his freind take the paternity test. Ever since then the chick got the results and he has been blocking her calls and ignoring her because he said he knows she got the shit and thinks the kid isnt his etc etc so he has no reason to talk to her. So the guy leaves to hit on some chick. Mean while im back with the people I do know.

    I bring up the idea that it would be hillarious for us to get this chick and this guy together for amusement. You know bring the family together for the hollidays and maybee even inform her on the goings on. Not so much to be a stand up guy but to watch the trailor drama unfold before my eyes. Theres nothing like watching maury live.

    So any ways one of my freinds freinds had the number and he called the chick and informed him that he was at the party etc etc. So no lie within 20 minutes that chick was there with her brother and some of his freinds. Im thinking this shit was going to be epic but I had no fucking idea.

    The chick busts out with the paternity test and it said that he was the father, meaning that his freind was the one that really was the father. At first hes in shock and is like no thats not possible and then he examins the paper and sees its true and is in shock for a minute. Mind you the freind that took the test from him is at the party but hes kind of drunk and doesnt kow whats going on.

    Then out of no where he starts fighting with the freind and every ones like WTF and they start brawling and the chicks brother and freinds break up the brawl and they are pretty lost to they have no idea whats happening. Then my freind rey rolls up and says, let me inform you about whats happened here.

    1. we called you guys to come over here because he was bragging about how he wasnt going to take care of his kid and found a way out of it.

    2. you guys come and informed him that his sure fire plan failed and now he has to legally pay for your shit untill you can sort this mess out.

    3. The mess being he bought a fake id with his info and his freinds pic on it so that his freind could take the DNA test for him so it would come out negative.

    The girl goes what, what does that mean.

    Rey - hes not the father because he never took the test but that guy he just beat up is the father cuz he took the test hahaha. So youve been creeping girl!!!!!!!!!!

    The girl turns bright red and more drama insues. Now a new wave of paternity tests are needed.
     
  2. Shrug

    Shrug Die in a Kimbo fight

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    that is kind of fucked up lol. Why would the guy take the paternity test for him if there was any way of him actually being the father.
     
  3. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    probably hit it one time and thought that there was no chance
     
  4. VulgarTheClown

    VulgarTheClown A child and a gun.....go together like apple pie a

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    Holy shit! Thats amazing!
     
  5. Buck something?

    Buck something? New Member

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    wow - that ID is a great fucking idea. back up plan FTW :bowdown:
     
  6. HandgunFantasy

    HandgunFantasy My purity you stole.

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    jerry jerry jerry
     
  7. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    lol, so the friend took the test, fully knowing that he had banged the chic before? what a moron lol.
     
  8. HouseLing

    HouseLing When masturbations lost its fun you'r fucking lazy

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  9. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    yeah but who knows he probably didnt even think that it was his kid Im waiting for details on this thing. I called my bud today to see what was happening with that drama but hes been busy with xmas stuff said he will update me as soon as he finds out.
     
  10. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

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    classy crowd


    let me guess the party was in a trailer
     
  11. miek

    miek New Member

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    :bowrofl: epic fucking ownage there. pure greatness
     
  12. CallSecurityNow

    CallSecurityNow OT Supporter

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    Worse.. hialeah
     
  13. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    lol, it was in hialeah actually. People dont know unless there in miami haha
     
  14. darkjedi

    darkjedi Muay Thai expert

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    that fake ID was a brilliant idea. mad props son.
     
  15. kroneX

    kroneX New Member

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    lol, i just hung out with my friends drinking beer, boring old me.
     
  16. Maestro Nobones

    Maestro Nobones Great Job! - GLAD DADS CREW

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    Wirelessly posted via wap.offtopic.com (Touch Pro: XV6850 Opera/9.50 (Windows NT 5.1; U; en))

    that is some straight up jerry springer shit
     
  17. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I got lost around there while driving to the swap meat. That was about the time I locked my doors.
     
  18. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    haha hialeah is the hood, which one opalocka or USA flea market
     
  19. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    update:

    gf - is going to force her bf to pay child support and take him to court for it unless he can prove he isnt the father which is going to be hard now haha

    bf thats not the father - is going to get a paternity test done from the same company and a secound company so that he can prove he isnt the father and doenst have to pay anything.

    the father - has dissapeared and isnt answering the phone haha
     
  20. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    opalocka was the one. i was looking for a pipe. figured this black guy with dreads would know where to go...he gave me directions to the far side of the lot where i found the tools and machinery area. :uh:
     
  21. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    Wow that shit played out exactly like Maury, if it was shot at a party lol.

    So cliffs are

    - Retard A thinks he can just dump responsiblity by hiding. Has Retard B get a fake ID with all Retard A's shit and take the test hoping the neg Retard A after the test. Turns out Retard B jizzed in that dumb bitches Vag?... Classic teen drama.



    Do they not teach about Birthcontrol and shit in American education system or is that just everywhere else? :rofl: We have sex ed from grade 7-10 up here.
     
  22. THE LIOG

    THE LIOG EVVVVVVVVEERRYYOONNNNNNNE EEEEE

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  23. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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    lmao yeah that one is in the hood haha. Every flea market here has at least 1 bong store
     
  24. rtzcom

    rtzcom bon wons! fight slepa for life sone!~

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    link to site where said ID can be purchased...
     
  25. The Ripper

    The Ripper New Member

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