SRS heroin in the worst drug in the world...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by FourDOzKilla, Apr 18, 2004.

  1. FourDOzKilla

    FourDOzKilla Guest

    its stolen my ex-gf and it wont give her back :wtc: she's been recovering for a few months, but i dont think its working :sad2:

    what can i do to help??
     
  2. Phish Esq.

    Phish Esq. New Member

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    Just support her. Don't enable her though. Also , understand what is best for her may not include a relationship early in recovery
     
  3. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    You know what they say about people with drinking problems? They don't have a problem with alcohol, they have a problem with alcoholism. With your ex-gf, there is something to be said for letting her disease run its proper course. Enabling her would be awful and possibly not let her hit her bottom quick enough. Phish Esq. summed it up pretty good.

    One thing I don't understand... if she's been recovering for a couple months, its not your place to judge if its working or not. She's your ex, are you expecting her to want you back or something?
     
  4. FourDOzKilla

    FourDOzKilla Guest

    its actually just a really really long story (when are they not?)...but it just got worse

    she also had some family problems, so she's been living with another person who was supposed to be recovering as well, but he goes from using, to clean, and back to using like nothing. I knew the day she started staying there it was a horrible place for her. Shes been in an out of programs over the last few weeks. Also on a side note she never injected before, only used to snort it.

    well minutes ago i got a phone call from her mother, who told me that she just found out she started shooting up :sad2: And i KNOW its the kid she's living with thats giving her the oppurtunity to do it...:mad:

    i'm just so angry/stressed/upset about the whole situation.
     
  5. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    She's an individual and will make her own decisions. Why are you still involved? I don't understand that still.
     
  6. FourDOzKilla

    FourDOzKilla Guest

    i'm still involved because i care about her ALOT. She used to feel the same way about me, but in the last hour, i learned that might not be the case :wtc: I know her recovery isnt about me at all, but it still hurts to know you've been lied to every day for the last 2 months.

    Her mother is very worried about her, as she should. I mean who wants to see their daughter end up dead? I just had a long talk with her (the mother)about whats been going on, and now i feel really really stupid because i've been enabling her by giving her money that she promised me she needed for other things. I had no idea because i didnt know she'd lie to my face without even thinking about it. I thought she wanted to stop, but aparently thats not true (at least for the moment) She had me fooled, but now i hope things can turn around for her.

    i guess this is the reality of trying to help an addict. And thats just what i'm trying to do...help her get better. I could care less about anything else.

    I'll know more in a few hours, so i'll let you guys know
     
  7. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    Stop trying to "help" her. I have seen many an addict be enabled by the support group of friends and family. If she ever decides to pull herself together, she'll have less amends to make anyways if you don't let her hurt you anymore.

    As an addict, i can tell you that this "how could you..." behavior you're exhibiting is normal for normies, and furthermore - not going to accomplish anything. Her primary purpose in active addiction is to use drugs, and find ways and means to get more drugs. I have seen addicts take the food people give them and sell it for more dope.

    Lacking willingness, she'll likely need to face arrest and then the pains of detox. Just my guess.
     
  8. FourDOzKilla

    FourDOzKilla Guest

    well my statement still stands :sad2: This sucks...
     
  9. Dark-Hawk

    Dark-Hawk New Member

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    FourDOzKilla: From Ct as well? Beautiful weather we've been having eh. Just try and pull her ass out of the ditch she's dug her self into. I can see why you're supporting her. People support those whom they care for. Good luck man
     
  10. FourDOzKilla

    FourDOzKilla Guest

    yea this weather is great. supposed to be 86 tomorrow...one thing that might make my day a little better despite all of this stress

    thank you for the support. I just got off the phone with her mother who took her out to dinner tonight...hopefully things will get better
     
  11. Dark-Hawk

    Dark-Hawk New Member

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    I'm not really savvy on what to do with people who have drug problems, but the best thing to do might possibly be sending her to rehab.

    And yeah I'm stoked about the 86 degrees tomorrow. I'm hopefully going to be working on my car, probably wont though haha
     
  12. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    :nono: don't give advice then on "pull her out of this ditch"... you can't do that to someone who's in active addiction... its called enabling.
     
  13. FourDOzKilla

    FourDOzKilla Guest

    well for now i'm doing what you guys suggest...trying to distance myself from her. I am keeping in touch with her mother, though, to see how things are going. And aparently its not doing good. While they were at dinner last night, she swore that she didnt use that day, and today when they talked, she was so sick that she couldn't talk. Her friend that she's staying with told her mother she was going through pretty bad withdrawls. Her mother then asked if she used yesterday, and she did.

    This is the same friend who got her the dope when she asked for it...like i said before, NOT the place for her to be if she wants to recover.

    more to come i'm sure :sadwavey:
     
  14. sleev

    sleev It's sleep, life, and death It's speed, coke, and

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    yeah, she needs to get out of that living situation and you need to keep your distance from her.
    ALANON is for friends and families of addicts, but I think more specifically alcholics. Maybe you should look into that, if you really care about her.
     
  15. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    best advice evar
     
  16. about:blank

    about:blank Whether you think that you can or that you can't,

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    Using my bro's registered name ...

    Your story sounds all too familiar i dated a heroin addict for almost 2 years ...it was pretty bad situation took me along time to realize that he is an adult and will make his decisions. Blaming others for his addiction was part of it too , i always said to my self what if he wasnt there. What i found most in drug addicts is that everyone of them feels sorry for themselves and powerless he (my boyfrend ) so many times blamed his addiction on others. I was concerned about his health that along the way i completely forgotten that i need to take care of myself. Being with an addict made me see a different world that i have never known before , somedays i dont want to notice.

    I realized that there was nothing i could do for him i distanced myself. He got off drugs once for 2 moths told me he made the biggest mistake. Why did he make the same mistake again and again i dunno not understand to this day. Right now he is living on the streets. traded his car 97 eclipse for $200 , lost all his frends. Everyone who has ever helped him and gave him place to stay he has robbed. It's like all theres is to him is an empty shell and the person who i loved is gone forever.

    Best advice to you... re evaluate situation. If she really did want to get clean she wouldnt be where she is at right now. She would look for ways out. Theres nothing much u can do, unless u decide that u do want to be with an addict. But an addiction is a life long battle. Best of luck to you

    Svetlana
     
  17. Mikey

    Mikey This one, this form I hold now, so Wide eyed and h

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    my bestfriend of 18 years got hooked up with a girl and she got him into heroin...he had to hit rock bottom multiple times before he realized. Even then he didn't want to recover. His father sent him to NC to live with his mom and get clean. I haven't seen or talked to him in about 2 years. He is now clean and on the road to getting his life back together. He and his new g/f and her child bought a trailer and 2 used cars and both are working full-time. He says money is really tight but he's clean and is the happiest he's been in a long time. He is coming back up to MD with his family for a funeral for his cousin that we both will be at, so I'll get to see him for the first time in a looong time this weekend.

    It's hard to lose a close friend to a drug, but you have to let it run it's course. Hopefully things will bounce back and she will be able to get clean and start her life over again.
     
  18. FourDOzKilla

    FourDOzKilla Guest

    well it finally happened today...her mother called me and told me she got arrested. She was with the same person she's been staying with, and he was paying off a debt to someone that was an undercover. Needless to say he's fucked for a while (literally) because he was on probation, and is going to jail...going directly to jail. He will not pass GO, he will not recieve $200.

    She recieved a promise to appear because she was only with him. She didnt have anything on her.

    So now her mother is hoping she will go back to live with her. Hopefully this will straighten things out and she'll finally be able to get clean. more to come
     
  19. FourDOzKilla

    FourDOzKilla Guest

    well things may be looking up. She got out of rehab today, and was happy to be out, alive, and sober. She met alot of people there that helped her get in the right frame of mind, I think. The only thing that scares me is that she was getting some medication, especially at night to get her to sleep. Its still the first day, so hopefully she wont have any problems regarding that.

    She was with her mother all day, brought her to work with her, and might have even gotten her a job there. I still havent heard from her though (only have been talking to her mother). Havent in about 3 weeks since i confronted her. guess i'll wait and see.
     
  20. Soren

    Soren OT Supporter

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    does she have aids/hepatitis yet...
     
  21. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    i hope this wasn't a sarcastic comment.
     

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