Here's a good one: Confident and secure vs rude

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by MattThom01, Mar 18, 2008.

  1. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    To set the background. I have this girl that randomly IMs me. I have never met her, or even talked to her on the phone. She lives a few hours away, so I never really tried to go meet her. She's been doing this probably since freshman year of college, claims to have really liked me back then...always calling me names like "my silly goosey matt" or something like that. I used to think it was cute and such, but after awhile, it just got like way too syrupy sweet, and called her out on it. She said I was being mean and not nice.

    So, in the past year, she has IMed me twice I think. Here's a convo I just had:

    [10:33] ElleKay6: happy st pattys day
    [10:33] MattThom01: same to you
    [10:33] ElleKay6: what u doing?
    [10:33] MattThom01: relaxing after work
    [10:33] MattThom01: you?
    [10:33] ElleKay6: thanx babe
    [10:33] ElleKay6: not to much
    [10:34] MattThom01: fun fn
    [10:34] ElleKay6: watchin some tv lol
    [10:34] MattThom01: wanna fool around?
    [10:34] ElleKay6: oh yes loads haha
    [10:34] MattThom01: lol
    [10:34] MattThom01: got any pics yet?
    [10:34] ElleKay6: i had some on my pld comp
    [10:35] ElleKay6: old comp
    [10:35] MattThom01: but not now?
    [10:35] MattThom01: damnit
    [10:35] MattThom01: i have yt to see what you look like lol
    [10:35] ElleKay6: but not on this new one sorry
    [10:35] ElleKay6: lets just say cute
    [10:35] MattThom01: ok
    [10:35] ElleKay6: blond and real petite
    [10:35] MattThom01: well, wont matter unless we ever meet lol
    [10:36] ElleKay6: whatwont matter?
    [10:36] MattThom01: what you look like
    [10:36] ElleKay6: oh okay
    [10:36] ElleKay6: :p
    [10:36] ElleKay6: u used to be sweet
    [10:37] MattThom01: got a myspace or anything with pics on it
    [10:37] MattThom01: I still am sweet, just more open now
    [10:37] MattThom01: less shy
    [10:37] ElleKay6: now ur always kinda sarcastic and not real friendly whats the deal hun?
    [10:38] MattThom01: eh...it's more of me being independent, knowing what I want and where I stand on things, and not afraid to express myself
    [10:38] ElleKay6: u can be nice and not shy
    [10:38] MattThom01: ok, define nice please
    [10:38] ElleKay6: kind words not so bold
    [10:38] MattThom01: ah
    [10:38] MattThom01: lol
    [10:39] MattThom01: i'm just upfront now
    [10:39] MattThom01: saves me time
    [10:39] ElleKay6: ur really kinda rude
    [10:39] MattThom01: plus i'm freaking 24, no need to be shy about sexual stiff
    [10:39] MattThom01: stuff*
    [10:39] MattThom01: oh well, you always have the option of closing the window if i get too rude
    [10:39] ElleKay6: yeah yeah ok
    [10:39] ElleKay6: byebye
    [10:40] MattThom01: have a good night
    [10:40] ElleKay6: :-*

    I can't remember how old she is (her age may have something to do with her reactions), but this brought up an interesting question. Do women perceive security and confidence as rudeness? Or is this just a case of a girl who is only used to guys being super sappy towards her?

    Also, happy st. Patrick's day to everyone :wiggle:

    More of a discussion question than a "I need answers" question
     
  2. mavfan1

    mavfan1 Active Member

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    well, a bit harsh for sure. you could have worked those pics out of her. that being said, i would have zero tolerance for 'chatting' with someone that wouldn't let me see what they look like
     
  3. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    security and confidence don't equate to rudeness in my book.. they equate to a turn-on



    but i can see how if someone didn't possess those two characters themselves how they would perceive you to be rude - and like you said, she might be young..
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    She's been pulling the whole "I don't have pics" routine since she started chatting with me.

    In this day and age, that's pretty damn odd.

    Didn't really care enough to try to get pics out of her.
     
  5. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    exactly... every girl is some sort of camera whore these days!
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Not really planning on anything either way..if she IMs and I feel like responding, I will, if not, I won't.

    I'll change the direction of this topic slightly.

    Has this happened to anyone else? Ever been called rude for being what you thought was just confident and secure about yourself?
     
  7. mestizo

    mestizo New Member

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    Did she frienzone you at some point? Sounds like she talked to you like you're her emotional bitchrag...

    Kudos on semi telling her off
     
  8. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    It's probably the contrast in how you responded to her when you first started chatting to now that makes you seem ruder than you would had you always behaved that way. :dunno:
     
  9. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    1. don't spit game online
    2. women like to make it feel like you've earned them. Make it appear that way for her and she'd be happy to give you pictures.
    3. I dont know how the online game works.
     
  10. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I've been called conceited, bitchy, stuck up before for those exact same reasons :dunno: ... I don't let it bother me, because it's usually by people who I wouldn't give the time of day.
     
  11. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    i don't understand how you don't see that you were rude.

    Expressing yourself clearly and confidently and rudeness are two things that can exist independantly. In this case you were definitely rude.

    you basically told her if you arn't hot and going to get my dick wet, you aren't worth my time. nothing wrong with that, but you really think shes out of line considering that rude?
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    EDIT: Caught myself trying to justify this stuff. I've been working on this, so, no excuses.

    You have a good point though antihero.

    Thanks for the input guys and gals.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2008
  13. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    i disagree with antihero completely.

    matt u were basically screening this chick who sounds ugly


    two thumbs up
     
  14. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    yeah, im not saying you didnt do something right. There is no reason why you should let someone who offers you nothing continue to waste your valuable time and energy.

    once you are comfortable expressing yourself confidently you can then move on to the next step of being able to do it with a bit more sensitivity and tact.

    Again, i think you are on the right track. Im not saying to go back to being a sissy. Im just saying that as you gain experience being direct, confident, and in touch with your needs, you will find that its possible to do all that while still being more polite then you were here.
     
  15. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    way to backpedal anti lulz
     
  16. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :dunno: 404 backpedal not found

     
  17. Leaden Grudge

    Leaden Grudge OT Supporter

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    haha "blonde and real petite", man that's exactly what all fatties think guys want. Beware.
     
  18. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I do like blond and petite...I'm built the same way. Can a girl still be petite if she has a C or D cup?
     
  19. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    pics of sister? And I've seen demo's pics, she's got a great body.
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Hey pervo, ask for pics via PM
     
  21. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    but it's more fun to ask in public...then I can brag if I get them!

    In all seriousness, sorry, didn't know.
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: I know man, I know you mean well. But we're told to cut that shit out now. It bothers a lot of women and I don't want them to get scared away again.
     
  23. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Sheesh, sounds like I can't even ask for nudes....

    Bleh, it's no fun in here these days! :x:
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No AfterHours is making a lot of guys in OT extremely pent up sexually :rofl:
     
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    pshaw...I take care of that on my own. Never was a huge fan of AH.

    It needs to warm up out here so I can get motivated to go out and walk around all the bars at night.
     

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