Her name is Alyssa.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by CrAiZ3, Mar 13, 2007.

  1. CrAiZ3

    CrAiZ3 New Member

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    A while back, sometime in May 06' I started hanging out with a girl, Katie. We have known each other for a long time but we just started hanging out at that time. I liked her a short time after that and she liked me. However, she had a best friend named Alyssa. After hanging out with the two for a month or so, I decided to ask Alyssa out. She said yes. For the next month, we had the best relationship, until we broke up after I had lied to her about smoking.

    Anyways, after we broke up, we became the BEST of friends. I mean, there is no possible way for us to be better friends. She finished my sentences, I ran up a $400 -some dollar phone bill talking to her, and we hung out all the time. I, still had feelings for her, and likewise. When we would walk alone, we would lay under the stars and kiss and the whole deal. Then, in September, when school started back up, we hung out a LOT less. I saw her maybe twice since September, out of school that is. But, I continued to talk to her for 3-4 hours a day.

    Now, Alyssa went out with this kid Aaron shortly after we had broken up. I am totally opposite of him. She for some reason saw something in him. But, to tell you the truth, I felt bad for him. I was mad at myself. I had told Alyssa to sneak out one night and meet me in "our spot." We held hands and talked and layed together and kissed. She never talked about him at all. They broke up after about a month. At the beginning of the new year, she tells me that she is in love with him, and she has no idea why. I believe her, if she did know, she would tell me. I don't think there is one thing we have ever kept from each other.

    She started talking about him all the time. Even though Aaron had a girlfriend, she tried to talk to him. He treated her like dirt, and still does to this day. According to her, she is over him now, go figure.

    Now, I am confused on some things. I'll break it down, and hopefully my questions will be answered.

    One night, we got on the topic of sex, and we always joke around with eachother about everything. She said something along the lines of "Ahh....it's so hot right now" and I replied with "your mother is hot." to joke around. She then said something like "F- you" and I, of course, replied with "you wish!" Now I never expected what was coming next. She told me she did and we some how got on topic of how she wanted to have sex with me, but is too self concious. I can usually tell by her voice if she is being serious or not, and she asked me to get her information about it, and how to be safe. I was totally shocked by this. I had no idea.

    For the next month or so, she would tell me how much she wanted to come see me and go to "our spot" and such. But, at the end of February, it got different. She told me she was "kidding" about all of it and played it off as a joke. She told me she did "like me" though.

    Here is where it gets a little beyond my reach, and I need some help from you guys. Alyssa is always talking about other guys, but claims she doesn't like them. She gets mad at me if I have to get a shower or whatever, but gets mad it me if I refuse to let her off the phone when she has to do something. She has me wipped. If I don't do something, she gets mad at me. She makes fun of me constantly.

    I get jealous. REAL jealous. I honestly think I am in love with her, but am not sure. In almost everything I do, I relate to something that happened with us in my mind, and think about her constantly. I dream about her and everything. She has been the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

    I had the opportunity of getting back together with her, but I am scared. Scared to lose our friendship. Scared to get made fun of. Scared to make the commitment. Scared she will say "no." I know it shouldn't matter, but for some reason it does to me.

    The time has come for me to make the HARDEST decision of my life.

    Should I let her go?

    I fear being lonely.
    I fear never sharing those best times we shared ever again.
    I fear boredom, not talking to her 4 hours a day.
    I fear she will move on, but I will not.
    I fear I wont love anyone again.

    (Teenage years stink!)

    I honestly do love her.
    She listens.
    Knows all about me.
    Is fun.
    Has been a true inspiration.


    However,

    Leads me on.
    Puts me down.
    Acts weird. (See Below)
    Has complete control.




    She knows, I am the only person that will listen to her, and help her with her problems. She talks to me more than anyone else daily. We have the longest and most memorable friendship. However, I fear she takes it for granted. I am not on her top friends on myspace. She tells me she likes me, and then hangs out with everyone BUT me. When we get in a fight, and she tells me she doesn't ever want to talk to me again, I try and try to get her forgiveness. When I tell her the same thing, she doesn't seem to care.


    As you can see, I am really confused. Point me in the right direction.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Fuck that was a long read...but anyhow, you need to let her go man. She's keeping you around basically because she has "feelings" for you, but she's not in love with you. Here you are, this great guy that she has a great relationship with....but you are always there for her, and sadly a lot of times girl take that for granted. You give her everything she needs, but in the end doesn't want.

    Notice how she only dated that Aaron kid for a month, but after he broke up with her (and probably ignored her) she claimed she was "in love" with him. You on the other hand were always around after your breakup being a good friend...but not a boyfriend officially.

    I could go on forever, but it's going to come back to the main point-and that is that this girl is toying with you and it's definitely not fair to you. You should move on as soon as possible and try to cut off as much contact with her as you can (ween yourself if you have too)...and then watch as she probably becomes more attracted to you as you pull away.
     
  3. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    All I read was the last paragraph, and the first thing that came into my mind was
    Audioslave - What You Are

    Thats a bad sign, just so you know.
     
  4. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    wtf?

    A) You're too young, I don't care how old you say you are by contents of this post you are younger than 18.

    B) Puppy love and you're getting schooled around like a little preschooler to some attention whore who never wants to lose the little doggy friend.

    C) what more needs to be said reread yourself and your post it should be obvious as hell.
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    If you try to get back together with you, the odds are that she will break up with you sometime later.

    You're being used as a safety net for her.

    Think about it...She can go pursue any guy she wants, and she knows that you will always be there to fall back on. She says/does enough to keep you interested, but she doesn't really want to be with you that much. If she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't have broken up with you.

    I reread your last paragraph. She's using you, and you're letting yourself be used. Stop being her therapist. If she has problems, she needs to talk about them equally with all her friends, or see a professional.
     
  6. Dr. Funk

    Dr. Funk OT Supporter

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    she likes you because as you said she "has you whipped".

    but she loves the other guy because he treats her like dirt.

    you need to man up and do what YOU want to do. become a challenge.
     
  7. foad

    foad New Member

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    :werd:

    What this guy said.

    Seriously.. :squint:
     
  8. CrAiZ3

    CrAiZ3 New Member

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    We are the best friends ever. I just don't know if I can let her go.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Meh, you are also mixing the fact that you like her with the fact that she is your friend...You aren't having true friend feelings with her.
     
  10. CrAiZ3

    CrAiZ3 New Member

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    Also, she really has no one for her. Her parents constantly fight, her dad beats her, her mother cheats on her father, and they won't let her get an appartment yet. She gets so upset about it and I am really the only one she has to talk to it about.

    If I cutoff the friendship, she will have no one. Im afraid of what she will do.
     
  11. yesitisyellow

    yesitisyellow New Member

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    Care about what you want, not what she wants.
    You come first, not her.
     
  12. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    omg my ex was like that. Trust me it not worth it and she will drag you down.
     
  13. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Her parents won't let her get an apartment??? I was in a similar situation, and moved out on my 18th birthday, and have been supporting myself and going to school since. If she isn't a minor, there is no let about it.
     
  14. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    She will find some other puppy to follow her around. Stop being her lapdog, and do your own thing. Id be willing to bet that she is using you more than either of you realize.
     
  15. julia!

    julia! New Member

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    You sound pretty oblivious to this. You love her. She doesnt love you. Girls want the ones who dont want them. Same with guys. Same with the whole world. It's ridiculous. She is using you and you are swallowing it. hook.line.sinker. You need to tell her point blank you want ot be with her. Take your shot. If she doesnt go for it theny ou need to let it go. Youre going to hurt yourself big time over her.
     
  16. CrAiZ3

    CrAiZ3 New Member

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    She knows how I feel. I told her as best I knew how. She is 17 by the way, a year younger than me. She can't move out.

    Everyone keeps telling me she is using me. It's just that I would never in a million years suspect that out of her. She isn't like that to my knowledge
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    She's not like maliciously or deliberately using you. But she is using you. It's not fair to you.

    And odds are, with her life and background, she will be using people all her life.
     
  18. SlvrCivLT621

    SlvrCivLT621 New Member

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    the reason why you would never suspect her using you is because you see this girl as godly. you see her as perfect and that she can do no wrong. love can blind you man, but listen to everyone that's telling you she's using you, their right. this situation is so very common. let go and move on dude.
     
  19. CrAiZ3

    CrAiZ3 New Member

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    Wow, I think I have come to a decision.

    I want to see her one last time. Saturday night, I am going to get her to come for a walk with me, just to make sure I am doing what I think is best.

    Finally, *sigh* on Sunday night, Im going to tell her EXACTLY how I feel, and that I am not going to remain friends with her.

    Any other advice will be appreciated.
     
  20. julia!

    julia! New Member

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    just tell her exactly how you feel and why. use examples of why youre bringing it up. and stand behind your decision.
     
  21. AlcoLOLic

    AlcoLOLic New Member

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    Yep...DON'T wuss out, that's for sure.
     
  22. CrAiZ3

    CrAiZ3 New Member

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    Dammit. Too late. I knew It was gonna happen. Ill explain later.
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    UGH
     
  24. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    What is there to explain?
     
  25. CrAiZ3

    CrAiZ3 New Member

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    I was all set to do this. And then she called the other night. She was crying. I talked with her for a few hours and her dad had her mom in a choke hold and she was crying. There is a LOT more too it than that, but we don't need to go in depth. I felt really really bad. She told me I was the only one she has left.

    Last night, there was a party that I went to. She happened to be there also. I stayed sober the whole time she was there, and she didn't drink at all. Everytime I went up to talk to her, she would push me away. bump into me, and then walk away. She pretty much avoided me for the 3 hours she was there.

    She called me when she got home. We talked, but I was pissed and I think she knew something was up. She never said anything about it though. Anyways, she told me she the bet we had, that she wouldn't be all over this kid I though she would be. I guess that she wanted me to guess who she liked. I was told I could get it in one guess. I told her I wasn't going to fucking play this game and that she could tell me if she wanted too.

    We got into this long discussion on how she has wanted to get back together with me for some time and all this. She just said she has a problem telling people exactly how she feels. I told her just about everything I told you guys, and talked with her a little more. Unfortunately, I had to go. I am going to get her back on subject tonight.
     

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