Her family is Catholic & bigoted

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Dec 19, 2007.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    So, since I have Jewish lineage and hold no outlandish metaphysical beliefs (e.g. a cracker = flesh, 1x a week) I am withholding certain personal info in this vein.

    The reasoning is that I want them to get to know me actually know me before dropping the J-bomb (let alone the nooutlandishmetaphysicalbeliefs-bomb).

    So.

    Here are my replies (all true. strictly speaking.)

    ==========================

    do you go to church often

    not as much as i probably should

    ==========================

    do you believe in god

    (nodding) i was raised with god

    ==========================

    do you practice pre-marital sex?

    (serious, head shaking) i would never do something with a girl that she wasn't comfortable with out of respect

    ==========================

    are you catholic?

    not yet (requires explanation)

    update: i caved in to my own love of causing a scene and told them everything upfront.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2007
  2. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    are you catholic?

    not yet (requires explanation)

    i have to deal with that too however i am greek orthodox. I have said in the past no but i am christian as well just different school of christianity that is dominant in my country. However i was always very interested in catolicism and would love nothing more but to learn more about the differences in your beliefs, traditions and rituals. Since i was a kid i have been observing the catholic chirch from friends or movies and i see that there aren't that many differences when it comes to the heart of the religion.
     
  3. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Are your parents jewish or just people in your family?

    If its the latter, you may never need to discuss it.
    When it comes to shit like this I don't really see much problem in lying (as you did) unless it conflicts with some sort of metaphysical belief (which you don't have).
     
  4. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    Are they really going to ask those questions?
     
  5. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    had to face religious differences with my bfs family... seeing as theyre catholic and I'm ... agnostic for lack of a better word. Eventually I ended up telling them everything and they dont really seem to love me the less for it, although every once and a while I'll get a little comment. Hey, at least I was honest :dunno: so no big suprise when I dont wanna get married in a church or anything
     
  6. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    So... you are preparing for a hypothetical situation? Is this with the girl that you have the open relationship with? Why are you interested in her family, or why is she interested in you meeting them?

    I would just be straight-up honest, not sure why you would play games, other than if it's one of the psychology experiments, which are interesting to read.

    Don't lie, if you aren't going to convert to Catholocism, don't say "not yet", etc...

    I can't believe people would actually ask those questions, my SO's family is Catholic and they are totally tolerant of my hatred of the church. Maybe some are worse than others:(

    DA
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm confused. I'm assuming this is Emily, the girl that you have been seeing and live with for months, right? She is also the girl that you have explicitly gone over the fact that you don't want the label of "boyfriend/girlfriend?" But you care what her parents think about you being part Jewish? Why would you convert to Catholicism for her? You aren't getting married and you've never made mention that she cares that you arebn't Catholic. Also, do they know their daughter goes to sex parties with you frequently? :mamoru: I just find that kinda funny.

    My bf was raised by a very Jewish father and an Episcopalian who converted to Judaism for the father to marry. I was raised by hippies luckily who never forced any organized religion on me. I know for a fact that my bf's parents would rather I be Jewish and that he marry a Jewish girl....but I don't care. My bf is the one I care about and he could cared less that I'm not Jewish. Same thing goes for her parents. Why should you care that they'd probably rather you practice Catholicism when you sounds like you aren't even a practicing Jew?
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    They will ask these questions. They will probably ask a lot more I'm not thinking of. This is not a hypothetical situation. These people are real, they will have an interview for me, and it will have the questions I listed.

    I'm here in the Philippines right now living with this family.

    iwishyouwerebeer, that's the answer to your question: I'll be staying here for three weeks with this family. :dunno: I don't want an unfair bias against me until after I've had a chance to get along. The people I'm living with say things like, "Koreans are the Jews of Asia," and, "Don't touch the handles on airplanes because Arabs may have touched them." This degree of anti-semitism (sp?) and anti-non-Catholicism is not something I need to expose myself to and it takes no effort for me to mislead them (gently) using sins of omission.

    As for the conversion to Catholicism thing, that, like every other response I gave, is a lie by omission.

    The story there is that I recently considered converting to Christianity because I was under the impression that by so doing I could remove my title of "Jewish," under Jewish law - after which I would then leave the church, so that at last I would finally have the title of "nothing," which, as someone who strongly disbelieves outlandish metaphysical claims, is what I'd want.

    Turns out even if I convert, I'm still technically Jewish by Jewish law, so it's a pointless affair. I won't actually be converting to anything.

    I will however be able to say truthfully that it's something I've been considering.
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2007
  9. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    :ugh:

    As a fellow Jew by descent and tradition, I think I'm qualified to say this: have some pride.
     
  10. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    odd.

    usually it's the jewish parents raising the stink. catholicism isn't a matriarchal lineage, so it doesn't matter like in the jewish tradition.


    i have some stuff to say in regards to marriage, catholicism and mixed religions (well, my experience, and my folk's), but i'm about to go to bed. i'll get back to this if you're interested.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: Like my bf's parents. I still stand by my statement that you shouldn't kill yourself and pre-plan out conversation answers to impress them. I used to want my bf's parents to like me too, but then I realized I didn't care unless they liked me for me. He loves me, so fuck them.

    Seriously though, I find it kinda funny that her parents are so strict. I wonder how they feel about her living with you and having sex with you before marriage. Or do they know that she doesn't have marriage in mind? DO they know you guys call each other lover only because you feel the label "bf/gf" is more stifling?
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    iwishyouwerebeer: um, yeah. :uh: These are the things we're both a little confused by. But don't ask me how they reconcile their faith with reality. That dilemma seems to be profound and worldwide.

    Floppy, I'm only proud of things I can take credit for.

    Therefore, nothing to be proud of for my lineage.

    Moreover, I'm not bound to anyone because of some random genetic commonalities - which are fewer than my commonalities with plenty of people from other backgrounds.

    The religious connotations of the word were what I hoped to avoid when debating a conversion-and-back.

    I have nothing to stand up for. I'm taking the calculated path of least resistance because it's the best choice for everybody involved.

    Planning what to say saves me energy. It would take me more energy to come up with shit in the moment or to tell the truth.
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Interested :wavey:
     
  14. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Also interested
     
  15. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Well you're not dating so you're in the clear. Why would they care that her friend is Jewish?
     
  16. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    because they think their daughter is dating jjj. The no dating,labeling,lover crap is only in jjj's and his lover's head.
     
  17. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Well maybe if he sat them down and tried to rationally explain their relationship they'd forget what religion he was. :mamoru:
     
  18. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    id grow a pair and just answer everything honestly
     
  19. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    yeah but i think the religious issue is the smaller evil of the both :X

    Have you tried to explain to parents of a female that you are not their girls boyfriend, and that you don't care about the whole concept of relationships and would only rather fuck their daughter with no comitment or exclusivness, and that she doesn't mind it, agrees with your views on dating/marriege, and quite often joins you to sex parties and such, so its all cool ;)

    now imagine that was your daughter and the said "lover" is in your leaving room and there is knife right in front of you, nice big yard, shovel and hefty bags with a little luck no witnesses"
     
  20. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    do you want them to be grandparents of your children?
     
  21. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    That's why I think JJJ's relationship views are outrageous.

    That hasn't happened yet, by my choice. If I'm the boyfriend then I love meeting the family, hanging out with grandma for Sunday dinner, getting harassed by Uncle Steve during the commercial break for the football game. But when it comes down to it, I'm dating her, not the mom or dad. I'm comfortable with who I am, what I've done with my life so far... so if they don't like something then tough luck. I'm not going to walk on egg shells to impress someone. I'm a man, not a bitch.

    And If I'm dating a girl, I don't really care about your family at that point.

    And if the girls my fuck buddy... well then I don't even care about her for the most part. :o
     
  22. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    yeah thats you not him :)
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Fucking :werd: I'm not going to go out of my way to impress any bf's parents. Especially if we don't even plan on getting married.
     
  24. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Be honest, real and unrehearsed. That's always the easiest way.
     
  25. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Calculated path of least resistance? You are who you are, and pussyfooting around that so that bigots treat you differently is pretty pathetic.

    This isn't the inquisition; you aren't going to be burned for your Jewishness. Be a man, stand up straight, and have some dignity.
     

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