LGBT Helping Others

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by NOVAJock, Jun 10, 2004.

  1. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Here's the scenario: you've been out of the closet for quite some time. Your confident and comfortable in who you are. Someone comes to you, who is just discovering who they are. They are realizing they are gay, and trying to figure out the best ways of dealing with it. They realize they are entering a new type of world and they're feeling unsure about it and somewhat scared. They come to you for advice.

    What is the best advice you could give them that you feel would be the most helpful to them?
     
  2. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    Personally I would be there for support/experimentation like my gay friends were when I was finding myself. I wouldnt want to really try to guide him because he would be living my experiences, not his own.

    I have done the complete opposite (closeted bf) and wanted him to come out faster and now feel bad about it. :(
     
  3. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    My first bf tried ripping me out of my closet before I was ready. It also didn't help that he was a pompous-fuck too. :squint:

    Needless to say, that was not a good relationship and even today, I still hold a little resentment toward the prick. :o
     
  4. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    I think my ex does with me too. I was his first in all aspects of a love life. First kiss, first bf, etc, and when I ended it I ended it quite swiftly. I hadnt run into him again until recently (three years later). He would talk to me but I could tell there was a bad something there.
     
  5. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    This happens a LOT to me (especially on OT). I usually just listen to their random ramblings about how this is going to kill their family and their friends will hate them.

    Let's just call this fictitios person "Dick"

    I would remind Dick that he is not living his life for his family or friends. Life is short... way too short to NOT live as his TRUE self... not the person that Dick thinks his parents and friends want him to be.

    I would also suggest that he take it slow. I would suggest that Dick maybe date a little before he tells his family. It makes sense to be sure that this is the right path before coming out to family and friends.

    Then I would tell Dick to learn about the gay "family". Learn to be proud of his gayness and learn to embrace his gayness. Often times we are taught that being gay is sinful or wrong. And there is a TON of guilt involved in the coming-out process. It's important that Dick try to get over the guilt before coming out. It makes the process easier. And, once one understands that one is not alone in the gay community, it's even easier to come out and be proud.

    And then I just sit back and keep in touch and ask how things are going. How they are coming along/advancing in the process. I NEVER force anyone out of the closet... it's never a good thing.
     
  6. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    I also give them some quotes:

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt

    "As we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Nelson Mandela, from his 1994 Inaugural Speech.
     
  7. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    oh wow, i was just about to post something similar. My friend is in the same situation right now.

    I told Jake two things.

    1) You are who you are. Don't let others change the way you think. Come out as slowly or as quickly as he chooses to. Peer pressure for coming out is a bitch~!

    2) There are a lot of others who have and are goin through what you are. Don't be afraid to look for advice/help/information from these people.
     
  8. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    How convenient! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
     
  9. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    :rofl: You got that, huh? I wanted to see how many times I could say "dick" in one post...
     
  10. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    I KNEW IT!!!!!

    :rofl:
     

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