Helping a young female friend to not be stupid and irresponsible (story)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Emfuser, May 4, 2008.

  1. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    This is a story about me deciding to play big brother with a friend of ours who needs a little bit of looking after. I'm sorry if it's rambling, but this has frustrated me all night. :hs:

    My girlfriend and I have a young friend who stayed at our house last night. A gorgeous 19 year old girl with fuckall for an alcohol tolerance. After seeing just how inexperienced she is with alcohol and being social, and having to fly point last night when the gf failed at wingman, I feel I should sit down with her and let her know what she's in for if she continues like this, and how to avoid it in the future.

    This girl is a sophomore in college, was raised in a pretty white-bread, christian conservative household, and has never known much regular social life outside of church functions, it seems. She's pretty sharp for her age in everything else except for her gross social naivety. I'm not familiar with her usual circle of friends, but I'm betting she has several "orbiters", as she is far too good looking not to attract the attention of boys.

    The problem is that she has a bad combination of social factors going for her that could very likely lead to some regrettable behavior. This girl had not even kissed a guy until about a month ago, and it was when she was a little tipsy, and a sort of unscrupulous friend of ours (who only showers every few days :ugh:) decided to make out with her. I hear her say last night "oh yeah, I get really horny when I'm drunk." Never mind that she's barely even kissed a guy. No no... as soon as there's any alcohol (at all) in her system, she turns into the giggly, fun, "I love everyone" girl who might as well have a 10 foot neon sign above her head that says EASY. It is that bad.

    Last night we had Mr. Creepy (a guy easily twice her age, but from LA and used to being single, concealing his age, and hitting on the young ones) all over her. I was playing wingman, and succeeding at keeping her out of trouble. In hindsight, I should have kept it that way. When the gf traded places with me, it went south. Turns out the gf is an inexperienced wingman, and fell for all the tricks that Mr. Creepy's friends were using to give Mr. Creepy a clean shot at our young, incredibly naive friend. Fucking awesome :uh:. Thus, he slips her a few more shots, gets her to drink some beer, is all over her, etc. Any idiot observing can see what he's doing. He's even being called out on it, and his response is :)hsughno:) denial, and I'm just :ugh2:. Eventually I tell the gf that we need to go, and that our friend is coming with us.

    So we take this girl home. She's stumbling and falling into my car. Not pukey at all, but definitely smashed. We get her home, the gf strips her makeup, and we put her in a long tshirt to wear to bed. During this is when we hear about her shenanigans with her first kiss a month ago, and how she gets horny when she's drunk. Eventually, I'm stuck with a drunken, admittedly horny girl in nothing but a long t-shirt and her panties splayed out in a half-assed fashion in my guest bed, because she can barely move around well on her own. Some tiny part of me from OT briefly thought "Oh lawd, is I in heaven? :eek5:" (this is some shit you'd read if OT wrote Dear Penthouse), but then I figured that I was just as well going in the other room and sucking on the business end of my rifle for even briefly thinking that. OT would have one look at that situation, and It'd be rape time. :uh: :ugh:

    That's when I really realized that this girl is incredibly likely to do something really fucking dumb and regrettable in her future. I thought to myself, ok, if I was amoral and unscrupulous (or really just young, horny, drunk and irrational, like tons of guys her age), what would be going on here? I would've gained her trust over time (weeks and months), and use this situation to my advantage. I'd kindly offer to bring her back and emphasize she'd be staying in my guest bedroom. About when it comes time to put her in her sleep clothes is when I'd test those waters. A few little extra details paid attention, and she'd have a nice comfortable warm fuzzy about being there safe in my house, half-naked and making out with me, while I warmed her up. About the first time I could get an "oooooh *gasp*" out of her and it'd be all over. Her memory of losing her virginity would be a small bloodstain on the sheets and a warm sticky white fluid leaking out from between her legs.

    That's probably not what she really wants. In fact, I know it's not. This girl intends to honestly wear white at her wedding. I may not agree with many christian morals, but I've strived my entire life to help my friends uphold their own personal principles and ethics. I have bent over backwards to keep my friends out of trouble and keep them from doing regrettable shit they would never do sober. I'm not about to let her continue on like this without letting her know what she's doing, why it's happening, what the consequences will be, and how my wonderful y-chromosome carrying brothers are going to be trying to get in her panties.

    Thus, I'm going to have to sit down with her and act the part of her big brother. I can explain to her the predatory (no, not in an illegal sort of fashion) behaviors of my own gender. I can explain that we have a fantastic, evolutionary hyper-fertility that drives us to want to dick as many girls as we can. I can explain the tactics we use to fly with wingmen to pick apart the defenses of girls we want to get at. I can give her the best rookie defenses against the Mr. Creepys and slimy PUAs she could ask for, but that's from a man's perspective.

    I'd love to hear from some ladies what she needs to know to be more socially aware and able to be social without getting herself into trouble enough times to develop a more natural feel for those situations, casual relationships, etc. I'm by no means trying to control her or protect her from the world, I just want her to have the knowledge she needs to mature a bit more and enjoy having fun without being dangerous and stupid. If she decides to make a conscious, sober decision to develop a healthy sex life, then that's great. She's going to need help surviving, and if I just let her continue as is, then I'd feel like I was sending a fresh new army recruit onto the beaches at Normandy with nothing but water pistol and no warning. You know... big brother sorts of concerns. :hsd:

    Input would be much appreciated. :)

    Edit: I wanted to add in that I do somewhat frequently play a big brother sort of role with her and she has been very receptive of my advice. She seeks me out to help her with life matters and actually does do what I advise her to do. If I thought she were going to blow me off or get angry when I talk with her, I would not be wasting my time with any of this.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2008
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Do NOT be surprised if your attempts to be her big brother are ignored are met with anger.

    Most of the time, we learn and grow by making mistakes, not by having someone tell us something is a mistake.
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    what does she understand about using protection?
     
  4. PlutoBHG

    PlutoBHG New Member

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    if shes going to be picking up or interested in anyone she meets while shes out drinking, then shes going to have to deal with this eventually anyway, i say let her learn on her own, almost all girls like that have to and its sad and horrible but...i dont think warning her will do much but confuse her...
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    have you considered the possibility that she is only recently discovering the thrill of her sexual power, but is bound by ancient tradition, and is therefore using alcohol as an excuse to be "horny," while giving lip-service to xtian values when sober because of her ingrained anti-slut defense?

    because one constant about hot girls, if you make sexual validation into the forbidden fruit, they will only tolerate so much starvation before getting a taste.

    she HAS to say, "oh i want a traditional lifestyle, I love being a virgin, I love all of that stuff, the holiness of asexuality thrills the everliving daylights outta me," in order to cover her ass as she figures out that the world will hand her itself on a silver platter for those t & a.

    lol @ any guy who "warns" a girl that another guy wants to sleep with her.

    what is she going to say. "OMG really? He's into me? .... NOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't let a guy be into me!!!"

    actually, the most common response is either, "Duh, um, thanks, I know you mean well, thanks :)" or, "NAH. I'm not that hot," depending on her self-esteem.
     
  6. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    Actually, she has been very receptive to my advice on prior occasions, so that is less of a concern. Thank you for mentioning that, though. :)
     
  7. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    After seeing what my actual sisters went through, I think it's prudent of me to say something as a friend. She's been very receptive of my advice before, and frequently asks me for help in manners of life. If I thought I were wasting my time, I wouldn't be doing this.
     
  8. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    Yes I have considered this, but I've known her long enough and well enough to discount it. She is genuinely ignorant and grossly naive about this, but she's not your typical stupid college slut who is just discovering penis love. I've had other discussions with her about her past and where it puts her today, and she's not the stupid, excuse-laden slut in disguise that you describe. If that were the case, and she was just fucking around, then I'd let her go to the wolves.
     
  9. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    Added my edit:

    I wanted to add in that I do somewhat frequently play a big brother sort of role with her and she has been very receptive of my advice. She seeks me out to help her with life matters and actually does do what I advise her to do. If I thought she were going to blow me off or get angry when I talk with her, I would not be wasting my time with any of this.

    :hs:
     
  10. PlutoBHG

    PlutoBHG New Member

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    well good luck but however much she takes your advice as a big brother...i still dont see it helping much in this case...this is one of those lessons life that girls have to learn on their own and i guess becomes a test of character in time
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    First of all, JJJ is dead on in the sense that she sounds like every gorgeous but insecure and naive girl I've ever known. While most guys take alcohol as "liquid courage," young women seem to take it so it seems acceptable for them to lower their inhibitions.

    Secondly, I understnd why you want to speak with her. You are worried about her, plain and simple. However, as also mentioned you will just be viewed most likely as a brother. You may think that's great, but most youngins don't listen to a god damn thing their family tells them. Most people only learn the hard way-by experience. I do agree the most important thing she needs to hear from you is to be safe (sex) and not fall for every dumb line a guy gives her. In a weird way her first kiss was like opening Pandora's box to her sexuality and now she is probably hard-pressed to rush into everything else with excitement. Its not really our place to tell her not to have sex, but it is normal to advise her that she should still have standards being Christian and all.

    Thirdy....I think you need to get this girl out of your house. You are not her brother and it's even more creepy that you are already harboring sexual thoughts about her.
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Just to clarify, I think it's great when a girl grabs social value without using drink - or anything else - as an "excuse." Be it via sexual power or otherwise. To me it shows confidence and high self esteem and rationality and the ability to come to a correct conclusion despite social conditioning. I wasn't criticizing.
     
  13. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    Trust me, I had enough experience with my own two sisters to know the reachable from the non-reachable. Would you like to meet either of my illegitmate nephews? Their dads met in prison. It took a few abortions by the other sister to learn about that stuff as well. This is not my first rodeo.

    This girl is polar opposite from the way they were. Like I've said about four times now, I wouldn't do this if I thought I were wasting my time.

    Also, please do not take a brief, fleeting sexual thought as harboring a god damned thing. That I was able to immediately discard such thought as inappropriate should say plenty. I do not take lightly to questioning of my integrity. :nono:
     
  14. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    You sort of get what I'm saying. I'm trying to enable her to be aware. What she does with awareness and conscious choice is none of my business. It's when I see someone walking the path of certain disaster that I get concerned for my friend.
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    in for response
     
  16. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    Sorry I missed that. I have not asked.
     
  17. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i know you're in a big brother role as it is, but are you sure she even wants protection in this sense?
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :hsugh: so what exactly are you concerned about?

    no offense but if you were any other poster I would assume you were a typical orbiter. thinking of yourself as "protective" towards a girl you're attracted to is usually a RATIONALIZATION for your attraction over other guys.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Not questioning your integrity at all...I just found it a little intriguing how many times you had to point out she was attractive. I realize that seems important but the point still stands she's just a young, naive "friend" who needs a little guidance into her new sexuality and social status.

    What worries me more is the boundaries you might be crossing. Why is this girl living with you? How long are you going to let her live with you? I know you say you are a sort of big brother to her and I believe you, but you aren't her big brother and she needs to grow up.
     
  20. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    I am concerned about her unawareness of just how vulnerable she becomes when she drinks and her gross ignorance of how to handle herself in social situations with alcohol. I'm not going to sit her down to scare her or call her stupid. I'm going to tell her what happens when she gets into the situations and what it is very likely to lead to so that she can learn to think ahead a little bit.

    People here have their doubts, but I have already learned since I started this thread that she wants to hear my advice about this.
     
  21. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    I have a penchant for over-using visual adjectives. :o Otherwise, I was trying to emphasize that she's projecting an image, of which her appearance plays a part, that is not good.

    I think you misunderstood what I wrote. My girlfriend lives with me. We had our young friend crash out in the guest bedroom for ONE night. I'm not sure what you thought the situation was.
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh I know your gf lives with you, I read incorrectly. For some reason I thought this girl would continue to stay in your house for an undetermined amount of time. I'm glad she won't.

    I'd say just don't get your hopes up. Hopefully she will listen to you...but at the same time she might not learn a damn thing without making a lot of mistakes of her own.

    I'd say the biggest thing you push is her making 100% sure protection is used and to calm down on the drinking while also not seeking validation from men by doing whatever they want.
     
  23. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    I know already from a phone call that she's quite thankful for the "save" and wants to hear what advice I have to offer. I think this will turn out well.

    She had a pretty solid upbringing. I've never seen her as an attention seeker or validation seeker at all. This is a good thing (otherwise this would be a lost cause).
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm glad she seems open to any advice.

    I keep trying to think back on myself at a younger age. During high school I definitely got into drinking and there were maybe 1-2 nights that I got too drunk...but it was never for a guy. Just being a typical "cool kid" who drank too much and then the next morning realized that it should never happen again.

    Hopefully her solid upbringing won't go to waste. I've known a lot of girls who were raised strictly Christian and then for some reason the second they cracked that was it, they went sex-crazed and never had strong convictions again.

    in for what you tell her and what she responds
     
  25. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    What I wrote about my sisters above was not exaggerated, sadly. I know the rebellious types. I'm honestly surprised that this girl isn't like that.

    It doesn't matter to me if she decides the chastity ring has to go. I just want to help her in being aware, so that does not happen in a situation of dubious circumstances.

    :)
     

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