SRS help with this girl, cant figure it out

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by wcp0816, Jan 30, 2007.

  1. wcp0816

    wcp0816 New Member

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    what up? to start, i've had my fair share of shit in my life. but who hasnt? anyway, i basically shut down inside when i was about 15 and been that way ever since. so every girl i've ever dated i've intentionally broken up with if i felt they were becoming too attached. some may call it shallow, but i see it as i dont know how to respond emotionally. anyway, i graduated high school and moved to a city to go to college. while there i started working at a dry cleaners, where i met this girl. never gave her much thought, she was 2 yrs older and i was interested in this other girl at the time. so i spend 3 yrs there and we became really good friends. well, the last 6 months theres i developed a really bad coke problem and moved back home. we had a pretty bad falling out because of it, so when i moved i thought that we were no longer friends. so i cleaned up over the next year and decide to go back to visit some other friends. while down there, someone brought up her name in a conversation and told me she had also moved back home after finishing school. so a few weeks later im sittin in my apartment and run across her number and decide to give her a call. that was about 6 months ago and we've talked almost everyday since. i always saw her as a friend up until i got back in touch with her and now i cant stop thinking about her. i've gone and seen her a few times, but she not sure what she wants. i can tell that she feels strongly for me, but knows im not emotionally dependable. im working on that part. the part that is killing me is whether to pursue her now, because she leaves in june for two years in the peace corps. any advice? i've tryed goin on dates, seeing other girls, but im simply not interested in them. i just keep thinkin about how much i want to be with her.....
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    My guess would be that you've been in the friend zone with her for quite awhile, but there is a quick, relatively low effort way to check.

    Ask her out on a date.
     
  3. wcp0816

    wcp0816 New Member

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    i'll give it a shot here in about a week. thats the next time im ridin up to see her.
     
  4. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    Sounds like rather than you breaking up with them now you're looking for ones that have a built-in deadline.

    You need to fix yourself before you can be with someone else.
     
  5. wcp0816

    wcp0816 New Member

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    yeah, i like how i find one but shes now leaving instead of wanting to stay..... as far as fixing myself, i'm workin on finding my "inner child," which shes really proud of me for tryin to do so. and her mom is helping me relize what i have repressed over all these years. im afraid that i go after her right now, i will be like a sick puppy for her, worse off than now. that i will be extremely dependant on her emotionally, something im tryin not to do.
     
  6. wcp0816

    wcp0816 New Member

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    so i talked to her for a minute or two last night. i tell her that im goin back to visit some friends around valentines day and she tells me thats shes doin the same. so i told her thats pretty cool and all. then she switches notes on me, tells me that if i am down there on valentines day that we should spend the day together. this is the first valentines day that she hasnt had a bf....
    so my mind is racing tryin to figure how to play this right.
     
  7. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    Easiest answer........... DON'T.

    Just go, hang out, have fun. Don't have an angle, don't try to "play it right", don't make any moves on her, just DON'T.

    Be with her. Talk. Listen. Ask lots of questions. That's it. And let it go where she takes it.
     
  8. wcp0816

    wcp0816 New Member

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    thats what im planning on doing. just being there for her.
     
  9. wcp0816

    wcp0816 New Member

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    so i didnt talk to her a few days over the weekend, went out with some friends and partied like how i used to do. just a lot of drinking only this time. so she called me last night and we talked for awhile and all she kept saying is that i sounded pissed off and emotionally detached. im not sure what to do now. i was happy to talk to her and all, but her telling me that didnt help my situation. i dunno, i've been alittle stressed about money and work lately, but i tried not to bring that up with her. but she said she could tell that i was.
     
  10. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    how about you don't drink for 6 months...it may have nothing to do with your situation, but it definitely won't hurt.
     
  11. wcp0816

    wcp0816 New Member

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    yeah, im holdin off the drink right now. its not that big a deal, i just enjoy goin out with my friends like that every once in a while. it just feels like i opened up pandora's box a few days ago, between goin out with my friends and this self help shit that im doing. i've doing it for about a month, and she's really proud of me for taking steps towards working on "me." but the further i dig, it feels like i want to more distant from everything, and i dont want to talk to her about it because i dont want to be a whiny bitch when i talk to her. she'll usually get me to talk about it for a few minutes, buts its alot of personal stuff. i know its ok to talk about my emotions, but im still not comfortable doing so.
     

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