help with pregnant g/f

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by amac88, Nov 19, 2007.

  1. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    So, I got my girlfriend pregnant. I DO NOT want a speech on how bad that is, you should be more careful, etc. Save that for another thread please. I wanna know how to help her through it. We arent getting an abortion either. Adoption is a choice though. Anyway, the other day she was like "I need a break". I assumed she meant break up, so I was upset. Yesterday, I found that wasnt the case, just her take a couple days to think about things. Today she txt'd me saying how sorry she was that she had been treating me like crap the past few days. Ive been telling her itll be fine, we gotta work through this together, etc. But last night when I called, she said "Im not excited about this anymore, its not how I thought it was gonna be." However, today, she seems to really want to do it after all, and she keeps goin back and forth, which Ive heard is normal just because of her hormones messing up. What else can I do to assure her that itll work out, and generally get her out of her bad mood?
     
  2. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Nothing else you can, continue to be there to support her and give her required space as well. Hope it works out for you two, must be very difficult. :hs:
     
  3. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    get/keep a job ftw. you r gonna need $ n health insurance for that kid.


    My friend had planned to give up his baby for adoption until it was born, then they decided to keep it instead once they saw it. the people who planned to get the kid were pissed!

    if i ever get a girl preg i will demand a pat test.
     
  4. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    We both have a job, mine is pretty good for my age. We are also using WIC, and are gonna see what other programs we can get into. I think we can do it, its gonna be hard, but possible. But, how long do you guys think she will be like this? How do I give her speace, without becoming too distant? What exactly does that mean?
     
  5. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    Well for as long as she regrets it and thinks negativly about the baby she will have those mood swings. You need to keep on being supportive and understanding. Don't take things completely personaly and as an attack to you. As you have already seen its all mood swings caused by hourmones as well as the discomfort that this pregnancy is causing her. It is important for her to accept the fact that it has happened and try to find a positive point of view.
    For me what did it was the tought that i can't wait to see my baby. It is incredible and a true mirracle of life that she will give birth to a little person that will take after you and hers features and personality.

    You can help her by being excited about the moment you will get to hold your baby in your arms and reasure her that she will be a great mom and that you will do anything to help her and your baby and take care of them.

    For a future mother to be there are a lot of worries and fears about the pregnancy, labor as well as parenthood, when you add to that the unplanned turn of events and the fact that you are not married/ living together the stress can be over welming.
    Be there for them and make the best of it this is the best you can do.

    Adoption is the hardest thing a woman can go through and if you do choose to do that be prepaired for a rough several years. Postpardum depressions are very strong and can last years if the mother looses her baby due to adoption or miscarage.
     
  6. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    just tell her that you are there for her and that if she needs anything she should call you first. Tell her you want to be in the babies life if you decide you want to keep it
     
  7. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    i think adoption is a truly selfish option. It says I cant just will myself to get my shit together for the kid. Sorry to interject that but that is my opinion. Its not as selfish as smoking/drinking during pregos tho
     
  8. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    .........
    i am gonna prettend i didn't see this
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Wow, from all your other threads I remember you well. You and her are really young and she never graduated from HS and your parents hate her, right? :barf:

    In situations like this she texts you to say she's sorry? You really think with that level of maturity you two can raise a child?

    Please don't try and raise this child. If she refuses an abortion she really needs to consider adoption.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    He's under 20 years old and has been dating this girl for maybe 3 months tops...it would be selfish to keep the baby and try to raise it on their own at this point :rolleyes:
     
  11. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    .
     
  12. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    We most likely will end up keeping it, adoption would be a last resort thing. I just dont want her tryin to push me away during this or anything, I want to be there and support her. Any hints on what to expect in the coming weeks/months? Shes about 2-3 weeks in I think.
     
  13. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    No, youre thinking of that other girl I went out with for a few days before I met her lol. Shes going to college, has a plan for her and us in the future, has money, etc.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You're in for a shitty 9 months, I'll be honest. You can try your best to be supportive, but hormones are going to make her nutty.

    So who is this girl? I'm so confused. How long have you been dating?
     
  15. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    Ive been dating this girl for around 2 months. We get along great, each other's parents like us, so at least we have that part covered. We have spent weeks discussing this, can both see a definate future together, and are supportive of each other. I think we can get through this.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    All I will ask is to please, PLEASE don't just get married for the kid because you think it will make its life better. Never force a relationship just because there is a child involved.
     
  17. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    in that case, a "miscarriage" and a little more drama.
     
  18. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I agree.
     
  19. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    :rofl:
     
  20. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    or if she's not lying about it....the fun hasn't even begun yet. that early, you dont even have any symptoms really, and your hormones are still relatively clam. if she's crazy now, i can't imagine how bad it's going to be later.


    i still think she's lying, however.
     
  21. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Were in the room when she took the pregnancy test or when the doctor confirmed the pregnancy in the office?
     
  22. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    word!
     
  23. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    Yes, I saw her test, and it was positive. The main thing Im afraid of, is her staying with me. Shes never cheated on a guy before, its always been the opposite, but I dunno. I really dunno what to do right now guys. If I could jump ahead a couple years into the future, or even a year or so, I would so do it.
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well...you can't. You need to decide what the fuck you want out of your relationship. Luckily you have 9 months to decide...or a few weeks if you want to try and get her to change her mind. Why is abortion out of the question? I have to ask. I mean the girl is young and just got knocked up by her young bf whom she's been dating for 2 months.
     
  25. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    it is gut check time. Who are you and who do you want to be.

    Its on you. You can be a lazy bum or you can be a Man. You can choose to let this leave you working @ a grocery store the rest of your life or it can motivate you to do something with you life... like school, start a biz, something along those lines. its hard, but lifes hard.

    This is all about your personal responsibility. Ive got a lot of friends who are doing their best to manage their lives and their kids. They manned up and stopped drinking as much. They took responsibility for their actions/lives.
     

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