ok, i have a little scenario and i need some advice on how to handle this and how to adapt to this change. i have been seeing a girl for 2.5 years. she still lives with another man, though is leaving after christmas. she and he have been separated and living together for years, because of the child. there is your background. so, as we try to work things out about us, it happens that we have a little fight and she goes to a friends house, and then all of a sudden starts hanging out there alot. my girl has been with women before but not in a few years, not since she met me. anyways, since we have a fairly openly honest relationship, she told me about it after we made up. the natural reaction for a hotblooded guy is to be turned on and want in on it, and going full tilt with it. and i am, however, i also have this jealousy side of me i am unsure of, because i dont want to be lied to or anything, and i dont want to be blown off to go spend time with this other chick. my girl is not out of the closet and nobody but me and 2 of her closest frineds (and of course the girls she has been with already) know about her occasional walk on the wild side. however this other chick who is openly lesbian has been telling people about them. this one kinda rots my ass a little because until she leaves the house she is in, i am not even allowed to tell people because it will come back to the boy since it isnt the largest of areas around here. when she goes to this other girls house i get anxious and upset because she could be spending her valuable extra time with me, who she says is who she wants to be with, she wont leave a man for a woman. she doesnt want to lose the friendship with this other girl(who is falling hard and trying even harder to see her alot) but also cant give this girl the commitment she wants. so, i need some advice. how do you deal with your SO seeing someone of the same sex on the side occasionally? if we were all good, and things were stable between us, i wouldnt be as worked up but it is a little rocky right now, so i am unsure of the status of things. also, if this other girl was open to me joining or being there or whatever, it wouldnt be as much of an issue, why can she play and not me? i would be open to a girl who had the same headspace as my girl. no strings attached, probably in a relationship but wants the occasional walk on the wild side, but not looking for more, and not a close friend before the clothes come off. how do i stop my jealousy, i kinda figure it takes time, this is new territory for me. i also dont want to be coming in second place anymore, nor do i want to have to be passed over for some girl on girl action instead. she says she loves me, and i can see it in her eyes, feel it in her touch and hear it in her voice she is true about her feelings for me. i just worry that the extra attention from this new girl will detract from how she feels for me and i lose her commitment to me if she is spending alot of time and thinking about someone else. advice? sorry about the essay lol ps, take it easy on me please? thanks folks!