My parents were married for 20 years before my mom cheated on my dad. He confronted her, they worked it out, then she did it again. He told her to leave about three years ago. They're still legally married (only for tax reasons, but also because neither one has a ton of extra money for a lawyer). They do not live together anymore, and my dad kept the house. For the first couple years after the shit hit the fan, my dad was a wreck. He sent her birthday cards, christmas gifts, valentines flowers, etc, even though she was the one who ruined the marriage. He's started getting better, but he's still very depressed. He works two jobs, not because he really needs to, but because it gets him out of the house. He used to be a very social guy, but now he just wants everyone to feel sorry for him. Like if I ask him to come over for the Super Bowl, he'll say "nah, you don't want me there with all your friends". That's just plain wrong. My friends LOVE him...he's a very funny guy, and I mean it when I say that anyone who's ever met him loves him. If I can be half the man and father he was, I'll be in good shape. But he's just so down on himself. He'll stay home all weekend, not go out, not do anything, then bitch about it when my wife and I stop over for our weekly visit on Sunday. We literally have to drag him places when we want him to go, or he won't go. He says his brothers (he has a large family that gets together all the time) don't call him anymore, but that's because when they'd invite him to parties, he'd just say something stupid about how it's all couples, or how he has something else to do, when that's usually a lie. He just wants people to feel sorry for him, and he's been like that for a few years. The frustrating thing for me is that it's been a few years like this and he's not doing anything about it. I want him to date. Of course when I mention it he'll say something like "who would want me - I'm balding, 51 years old, separated from my wife, etc etc". But the fact is people love him, and I know there are broads at his second job (security at our civic center) who would go out with him, but he doesn't want it - it's like he'll avoid being happy so as to keep up this sorry image. My wife and I have even discussed forcing him into dating, heh. I was going to put an ad up for him on a singles website or something. I just think that if he somehow realized that people WANT to meet him and hang out with him that he'd get better. Then again, I've heard that someday he'll just snap out of it. I went over last night after not seeing him for about 10 days, and he looked terrible. He literally just sleeps or works, and you can tell. Kept telling me that he's "just in a rut", but does nothing to get himself out of it. He bought a motorcycle and a new SUV last year, so I'm hoping he's on his way out...but man, these cold winter nights alone by himself in that house are killing him. Sorry for the novel, but there's so much to say about him. He's awesome...I just want him to be happy. But aside from moving into his house, wtf can I do?