Help with friend zone dilemma

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by TopDawg, Nov 9, 2008.

  1. TopDawg

    TopDawg New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2003
    Messages:
    1,334
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UC Davis
    Hey guys. Got a long story here, but I guess you guys have heard this before. Bear with me. I have known this girl for almost 6 months now, while we were going through our teacher training. We have been good friends ever since and now we are working as teachers in the same district. Basically I give her ride home everyday and that's the time when we see each other. I can say that we have really great chemistry and really understand each other (blah blah blah). Anyway, about a month ago, I made a really clumsy confession and I guess I came off too strongly and she blushed and said "I didn't know what to say" and eventually she said the "let's be friend" crap.

    We stopped talking then for about 2 weeks and the last communication was my texting to her, saying that I am sorry for my foolishness and I'd hate to see a beautiful thing go away. Then another week passed and she texted me out of nowhere, saying that she's been busy and asking how I was. Our friendship thus resumed to this day and I guess we have regained our old closeness.

    Now I am still not 100% sure where her emotions lie. I have a feeling that she does have feeling for me, though she's still waiting things out. Or I could be all wrong, and just dreaming things up. But I am pretty tired of this friend zone crap and how do I get a good gauge of where we are and her feeling for me? I still offer her ride home everyday(we work like 20 miles away from our city), though I keep my contact with her to the minimum (only texting. No calling) to not come off as desperate. My friend's telling me that I am being used and I should just stop calling her. But I think it would be mean to leave her by herself to commute home (bus and bart) when I am just a few minutes away at work.

    I am afraid of another "confession" and I really feel that another subtler approach would be better. Forgive my whimpiness. I am no expert on this subject of love.
     
  2. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,959
    Likes Received:
    0
    You are still on the friendzone, and do you have to give her a ride home everyday?
     
  3. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    124,888
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Kc
    hope she's giving you cash for gas or something, because otherwise you are being used.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :uh: Dude, she doesn't want to be with you, and even if she did, why would you want to be her "hmm, I guess he's an ok choice...maybe I'll date him" guy?

    Stop bending over backwards for her (stop driving her). Stop talking to her. Stop texting her, you're not a 16 year old girl.

    You know you don't want to be just friends so stop putting the effort in because the ONLY thing that's going to get her attention is you ignoring the shit out of her.
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's not mean to leave an adult to take care of the business of getting themselves to and from work. God forbid a grown woman have to get herself to work.

    You may think it's no big deal now, but I bet once you stop taking those few minutes to pick her up and drop her off twice a day, you'll start thinking "hey, this is kind of nice".
     
  6. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,658
    Likes Received:
    490
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    This.

    This time cut contact with her for as long as it takes you to get over your feelings for her. When you think you are over her, wait one more month before you talk to her and you should be good.
     
  7. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    Of course another approach would be better. You should never "confess" your feelings for a girl. Life isn't like the movies, confessing your love for someone is just sad and desperate unless you are actually dating the person.
     
  8. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,559
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Stop doing this and trust me she'll drift away from you. I used to take my ex home from work everyday and now I see her waiting for the bus every day. Almost gave her a ride the other day, but instead I :rofl:'ed and remember what she did to me.
     
  9. ASoT

    ASoT New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    0
    If she's giving you gas money and you don't mind the drive, then you have some options. If you are just being "friendly" and receiving nothing in return for driving her, then you, my friend, are an idiot. I recently had a 2 week observation period for my teacher training as well and I drove a girl to and from school during those 2 weeks. She offered gas money but I declined (I've known her for many years) and instead suggested she could buy me lunch some time. Starting in the new year we will be going to the school for 4 months and you bet I'll be collecting gas money from her then if she still needs a ride.

    If she is indeed paying you gas money and she made an effort to not lose contact with you, then she may like you. I'd suggest you move on and don't make any moves whatsoever. If she likes you the slightest bit, it will bother her that you moved on so quick. This will make you more desirable. Attracting a woman does not mean you always have to be super nice to her. Act like you got more important shit to do and she will come to you when she's ready. And if she doesn't, you haven't lost anything. Next.

    But if you aren't receiving any gas money, you're most likely being used.
     
  10. hungraa

    hungraa New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    649
    Likes Received:
    0
    in my opinion i doubt she has any feelings for you. sometimes you just want it so bad you dream it up and anything can seem like it.
     
  11. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,729
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Cities, MN
    Cash, gas, or ass... nobody rides for free...
     
  12. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2004
    Messages:
    8,258
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UC Santa Cruz
    i think just establishing that you want some gas money would do wonders for you.

    too bad you are a pussy and wouldnt ask.
     
  13. makeitrainsd

    makeitrainsd New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2008
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    once in the friends zone you are stuck in there forever....i know one kid..it got so bad that he made a facebook group dedicating to bashing on women because he is stuck in the friend zone..this is his recent news post

    "JUST KICK US IN THE BALLS, IT HAS THE SAME FUNCTION



    Girls, i bet if u polled ur "friends" they all would date you any day of the week and twice on Sundays because they feel such a connection with you.... and u never picked up on the intent, or probably just ignored it, and that is f*cked up

    im just speaking from experience

    ask any one "friends" that are single
    If they have a girlfriend, good for them, they don't count

    probably 8/10
    thats 80% for those of you who are idiots

    would agree"

    best thing.. be a man and say no make them work for it.
     
  14. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,658
    Likes Received:
    490
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    How you been, Timer? :mamoru:
     
  15. makeitrainsd

    makeitrainsd New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2008
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    can't complain
     
  16. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,658
    Likes Received:
    490
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    :rofl::rofl:
     
  17. McDick

    McDick New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,399
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Jersey
    [​IMG]

    by the way... getting friend zone'd is like cockblocking yourself.
     
  18. Ichabod Crane

    Ichabod Crane Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2001
    Messages:
    29,556
    Likes Received:
    1
    What he said, but even still it's too late for this girl and you. Move along.
     
  19. NaviQ200

    NaviQ200 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2002
    Messages:
    195
    Likes Received:
    0
    Look, you're not gonna get with her, and since you've already made a confession to her, you may want to try this other option:

    I agree with all the people saying you need to ignore her and move on, but that's an asshole move, and it's way easier said than done. Since you've confessed to her, make another confession, but this time give her an ultimatum. She will refuse most likely, but at least you can go about ignoring her and not feel bad about it. Tell her you have strong feelings, and that you have no intentions of JUST staying friends. You'll never get over her if you keep hanging out as friends.

    Remember, ultimatums almost never work, but at least you'll feel better about yourself and will be ready to move on!
     
  20. alo816

    alo816 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2007
    Messages:
    252
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rochester
    Give up, you're being used. Be a man.
     

Share This Page