MMA Help with formulating a Pro MMA argument

Discussion in 'OT Bar' started by Nomad, Jan 23, 2009.

  1. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    25,967
    Likes Received:
    0
    I need some advice on some key things i should say to my college's Student Senate that will convince them to allow an MMA Club.

    here's what i've written so far

     
  2. deviant

    deviant rest your trigger on my finger

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2005
    Messages:
    32,929
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    a town near you
    dude you said "fisticuffs" :rofl:
     
  3. Danja

    Danja New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    It is of our opinion that street fighting is an abhorable...

    Just because firefox says it's wrong doesn't mean it's wrong. I don't think "of" is necessary in that sentence. Also, I'd add something about the debate of mma legalization back when McCain was on a crusade against it. I don't know the details of it, something about certain techniques being barred, but it would probably be helpful to include information about legal victories and their rationale.
     
  4. dengar

    dengar seans is a afta marchsollwe in his gir! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2004
    Messages:
    11,813
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OC NJ
    call it is jiu jitsu club, because most of the idiots on the senate are going to think MMA club = you guys beating each other up in a cage.
     
  5. deviant

    deviant rest your trigger on my finger

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2005
    Messages:
    32,929
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    a town near you

    good idea
     
  6. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    25,967
    Likes Received:
    0
    ok thanks

    Word made me change the words, its just notes i'll have to speak from.

    Dengar -
    we decided not to call it Jiu Jitsu club because we want people from varying backgrounds so that we don't make anyone go "oh Jiu Jitsu is gay, Karate is better" or something like that. Our club existed before but under a previous name, "Fight Club" so i think "MMA Club" is actually a step up and in the positive direction. Also the Student Senate actually know what MMA is and there will be an actual Q&A session about the club after i give the "speech".
     
  7. checkii

    checkii ฝรั่งตาน้ำข้าว

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    22,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    rain street
    i'd have a friend who is an English major write it because you are about as eloquent as War Machine. Not trying to be a dick, but the more professionally it is written the more serious they will take it.
     
  8. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    25,967
    Likes Received:
    0

    ok, thanks, yeah i didn't really put that much effort into it, its just the general flow of things. the senate limits you on how long you have. I only have 5 minutes.

    i'll probably run this by one of my Professional Writing friends.


    and :wtc: at the War Machine comparison. that was harsh.
     
  9. Savage5point0

    Savage5point0 Im an asshole.

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2001
    Messages:
    18,397
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Bay, California
    What you wrote is terrible. Please do not stand up and say that.
     
  10. Kenny Dalglish

    Kenny Dalglish New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2003
    Messages:
    5,828
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens
    MMA is a sport that combines various elements of other martial arts together, techniques used in Boxing, Judo, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and Greco-Roman Wrestling are just some examples.


    it's like two sentences combined in one.. the "are just some examples" makes it confusing.. maybe start with..

    MMA is a sport that combines various elements of other martial arts.

    then continue with the examples in the 2nd?
     
  11. checkii

    checkii ฝรั่งตาน้ำข้าว

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    22,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    rain street
    i gotta agree. I wouldnt mention the word "fight" at all.
     
  12. Kenny Dalglish

    Kenny Dalglish New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2003
    Messages:
    5,828
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens
    :eek3:

    lol at least offer some advice?
     
  13. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    25,967
    Likes Received:
    0
    holy shit, i didn't realize my writing was that bad.

    i'll adjust it
     
  14. Kenny Dalglish

    Kenny Dalglish New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2003
    Messages:
    5,828
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens
    haha just write it out.. then always shorten it.. when you write you always add more crap than you need.. keep re-reading it and condensing it
     
  15. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    25,967
    Likes Received:
    0
    tbh i wrote all of that stuff on a plane after having been up for like 19 hours or so.

    i didn't realize i was that out of it.
     
  16. checkii

    checkii ฝรั่งตาน้ำข้าว

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    22,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    rain street
    lead off with a concise statement about the benefits of an MMA Club, hitting on the points of focus.
    Then follow up with a line or two on each point.
    Then close it with a simple closing/thank you statemnt

    right now it seems scattered.

    I also would not bring up the antithesis, rather prepare for it to come up in the Q&A.
     
  17. Optamix

    Optamix New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2004
    Messages:
    7,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Alabama

    This is what we finally gave up and did :mamoru:
     
  18. Optamix

    Optamix New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2004
    Messages:
    7,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Alabama
    When I was the president of our BJJ club(Its really an MMA club) I choked a guy unconscious in front of a bar. lulz

    We got a new student from that too, swear to god.
     
  19. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    25,967
    Likes Received:
    0
    Is this any better?

    or is it still scattered?
     
  20. Savage5point0

    Savage5point0 Im an asshole.

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2001
    Messages:
    18,397
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Bay, California
    Start broad, expain MMA, expain how it is a conglomeration of many different arts, touch lightly on each.
    Explain the growing popularity of MMA, throw in some internet search statistics on MMAs growth in the USA.
    Explain how it is for all genders, skill levels, ages, and experience levels.
    Explain how participants can gain good cardiovascular health while learning applicable self defence skills.
    Tell them why it would be benificial to have your club on campus.
    Focus not on the word fighting, but training and physical fitness, mental health, and making new interpersonal relationships.
    Close by thanking them for the opportunity.


    I dunno Id write more if I had time.


    Edit: still really bad. Take out the counter argument. Dont word it like it was coming from a 5th grader.
     
  21. checkii

    checkii ฝรั่งตาน้ำข้าว

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    22,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    rain street
    . x100
     
  22. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    25,967
    Likes Received:
    0

    ok thanks.

    my writing sucks big time.

    i have until Tuesday night to get it all put together properly
     
  23. Kenny Dalglish

    Kenny Dalglish New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2003
    Messages:
    5,828
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens
    :h5:
     
  24. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    25,967
    Likes Received:
    0
    btw what are you referring to specifically when you say "counter argument"?
     
  25. checkii

    checkii ฝรั่งตาน้ำข้าว

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    22,489
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    rain street
    you're bringing up fisticuffs and streetfighting. there is no reason to bring that up. it makes you guys sound guilty.
     

Share This Page