SRS Help needed. How do I handle this....

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Neal&Bob, Nov 14, 2007.

  1. Neal&Bob

    Neal&Bob New Member

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    My girlfriend is 20 yrs old, I'm 25. I met her at the pool at my community and she lives directly behind me in a townhouse....I have my own condo. We have been going out seriously for 2 months. When we first met, she had a lot of guy friends texting her things....basically looking for a booty call but she would never respond or she would just say she has a b/f. So everyonce and a while she would get texts from guys and I'd get jealous of course and ask who they are. She says they are just friends, but friends dont' just say, "I miss you" or "I wnt you to be with me"

    So yesterday she comes over my place for dinner. She has to hurry and eat b/c she has to write a paper then come back over to watch a show with me on tv. So she leaves at like 8 and comes back at like 9:30. I ask if she did her work, she says not really. I ask her what she was doing. After a few mroe questions from me I find out she had like 2 desserts at a diner. I asked her who she went with and she says her ex-b/f. My demeanor changes totally and so does hers b/c of it. She knows I'm uneasy. I'm stunned she wouldn't tell me but she insits she didn't think it was a big deal. She went out to lunch with him like 2 weeks earlier. I knew about the lunch, i didn't know about last nite. She gets frustrated when I ask her questions, but I think I have every right to be like well wtf. Why didn't you tell me, etc. etc.

    How do you guys/gals think I should handle this situation. So far my "jealousy" has come up like 3 or 4 times and she and I both get really frustrated each time. We have SUCH a great time with each other and love each other dearly. She would never cheat on me and i know this. She said she wants to marry me, spend the rest of her life with me etc. But all this still makes me uneasy. I'm absolutely clueless and need advice. Please. Thanks.
     
  2. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    In all honestly have a heart to heart talk with her and tell her you trust her as it seems you do and if she tells you everything you arent going to freak out (hopefully) it worked for me in the past.
     
  3. Neal&Bob

    Neal&Bob New Member

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    So your girl was the same way, but you just seemed to swallow it when she hung out with her guy friends? I just don't have the same relationships with my girl friends as she does with her guy friends. That is why I'm not used to it and question her.

    I actually just spoke with her on the phone and she got all heated with me. I'm such a fking idiot and I hate how my mind races.
     
  4. Dysfnctnl85

    Dysfnctnl85 IT/Apple/Rotary/(D)SLR Crew

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    I fought this constantly with my ex. She was the type that didn't believe every guy she met was into her, but it was the truth. My jealousy ate me up inside...mostly because I met her when she was with someone else, so in the back of my mind I always knew something would happend...it did.

    BUT, the difference in your situation is that you can lay it out for her: you want honesty. I know plenty of girls who hang out with their guy friends even though they are in a relationship. Heck, one of my best girlfriends has a boyfriend. So have a talk with her and tell her exactly how you feel. The fact that you are uneasy stems from the fact that *something* could happen between her and one of her guyfriends, right? If you two trust each other and you are completely honest with one another, you should be able to handle this.

    I also don't think it's a bad idea to meet the guys she hangs out with.
     
  5. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Why are you an idiot? She rushed through dinner with you because she said she had to write a paper and instead went to hang out with an ex and kept it from you. You did nothing wrong, she's the one that's acting shady and it sounds like she lied to you also by saying she had to hurry so she could write her paper when she really just wanted to see her ex. Don't let her pussywhip you into thinking you are the one that's wrong here. You have every right to be upset.
     
  6. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Most of us know that the guys are like that but what can you do? You can't expect every decent looking girl to not have any guy friends just because they will want to hit it at some point. What matters is how the girl and guy act. If the girl is flirting with them all and behaving inappropriately then you shouldn't put up with that. If she is just a friendly person and enjoys the company of both sexes then you can't fault her for that. If she's a good girlfriend then she won't stay friends with guys who actively hit on her and disrespect your relationship. She may have guy friends who would hit it if she offered but as long as they don't try to move beyond friendship then there's nothing wrong with that. Guys are always gonna be trying to hit it but that doesn't mean that she will let them.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ummm, that's not a healthy relationship. After two months you guys aren't probably not in love, just enamored with one another. And the fact that after 2 months she says she will marry you :hsugh: Yeah, I dont even have to comment on that really.

    Girls that are in love don't rush through dinner with you to "work on a paper" and instead go out with their ex-boyfriend for dinner...
     
  8. Dysfnctnl85

    Dysfnctnl85 IT/Apple/Rotary/(D)SLR Crew

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    I guess there is a time and place for telling someone straight-up like that. I know if you had tried to tell me that my ex wasn't in love with me 2 months after we met, I probably would have crawled into a corner and died. Seriously.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :dunno: It's been 2 months. She is 20 years old.
     
  10. Dysfnctnl85

    Dysfnctnl85 IT/Apple/Rotary/(D)SLR Crew

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    Mine was 18.

    Maybe I'm an idiot*.

    *hopeless romantic
     
  11. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    that's also just bad time management. Do the paper first, then have a late dinner and watch the show.
     

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