SRS help my girlfriend hates herself!

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Shattered Soul, Nov 20, 2006.

  1. Shattered Soul

    Shattered Soul New Member

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    ok so my girlfriend sent me this: "why do you love me? what is it that you find in me to like, when all i can see is someone who only brings hurt and failure? in the wreck that is myself what are you finding to love? i have nothing to give yet you give your heart to me. in all of me i can bearly find an ounce of hope, yet you seem to find so much more. i see myself as worthless and nothing, yet you see me as worthwhile and everything. i just dont understand what it is that is keeping you so..., so in love with me, when i'm not worth it."
    What do I do to make her feel better? how do I make her see that she is the world to me? what do I do?
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Urge her to seek out some professional help. This could be an indicator of depression. Better to get it checked out early, just in case.
     
  3. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    You can't do anything but get her to get some help. It has nothing to do with you and you can't make it better by doing or saying anything.
     
  4. Shattered Soul

    Shattered Soul New Member

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    yep the thing causing it is me...:wtc: :wtc: :wtc: :wtc: :wtc: :wtc: It is just to hard for me to keep her happy when I'm depressed and now this is what she told me.
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    There are a lot of people who get insecure when someone really amazing is really into them. I don't think it's a manipulative tactic if the reason she doesn't understand your love for her is because you are so amazing. If she is accusing you for her sadness however then Viper is correct
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Yep, that's good advice there. OP needs to take this to heart.

    If she's really depressed (i.e. this isn't a manipulative game) then encourage her to seek help.

    This doesn't have to be a big scary or somehow 'engaging the medical monster'. This could just be as simple as going to the school counselor and having a little chat. It starts just as easy as that.

    If she is in college, then go to Student Health Services. Which is ideal, because its FREE and all of their services are expressly designed for her age category.

    Help her get help. YOU don't become her therapist/counsellor/bitchbag.
    You just have to help her get help.

    That's all. That's it. That's EVERYTHING. And it's more than you could imagine.
     
  7. hi2u2

    hi2u2 New Member

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    I feel the same as your gf. My bf is an amazing dude, he has so much going for him. Ever since we've started dating his life seems like its been going downhill. I know its not my fault but it feels like it is, esp. cause im very needy. I feel like since i've been in his life its only brought him pain and suffering. I honestly dont understand why this man loves me. I cant see it.

    I'm extremely needy, demanding, i need his attention all the time and have so many other bad qualities. but hes still here. instead of being appreciative and diong things to show him how much i care and love him too, i spend my time thinking about why hes with me and trying to convince myself hes messed up for loving me.

    its a simple case of insecurities. trust me when i say this that anything more you do or say will not convince her you love her and care for her. She will always feel like theres something else or theres something wrong with you for loving her. theres nothing more you can do, and it definately is NOT your fault.

    The thing that my boyfriend did do was tell me how much he loved me. He would tell me something that he loves about me everyday, and if i questioned him on why he loved me he would tell me he sees what a wonderful person i am. If i brought up how i do this or do that and how could he love me if i do this or that, he would tell me that a relationship cant be perfect but he loves me for those times that it feels like it is. he kept telling me positives over and over agian. Good luck.

    And if she truely is depressed talking to someone will really help. Encourage her to seek counseling

    I've been dating my bf for almost 2 yrs now, and its still a process that i go throught DAILY, telling myself that no matter how i feel about myself, someone sees my 'potential' and that i must work to bring that out rather than feel sorry about my short commings.


    I just want you to understand that its NOT your fault. If a person is insecure nothign you do or say will make them feel better about themselves until and unless they themsleves are ready to get out their insecurties out of their head. Keep teling her that you love her and see the beautiful person she is. Hopefully that will be enough
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2006
  8. Elaine

    Elaine New Member

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    She is probably not being manipulative. And if she's not hurting herself or anyone else, then she doesn't probably doesn't need "help." They'll just medicate her and make her brain damaged.

    Try changing the subject. Just say you love her and move on. Distract her with activities. Get her to work out and excerise. Do fun things together, don't sit around and talk about her sad emotions. Be proactive. Maybe she could get a dog? Maybe she needs a new job? Maybe she should change her hair... anything. Just move on. Don't dwell.
     
  9. Shattered Soul

    Shattered Soul New Member

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    its not a game she really is depressed and she hates councilers! so how do I get her to help now?
     

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