FRK Help my girlfriend and I be more kinky!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Ivandrago, Mar 19, 2010.

  1. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    To start off, my girlfriend and I aren't really what you consider kinky people. We have a great sex life...but neither of us have explored our kinky sides. Lately she's expressed a desire to be move beyond just 'regular' sex and try to explore a completely new and unknown side of our relationship.

    Here's my question, from a Freakyshiat noob: Where the hell do we begin? What kind of toys/aids/etc can we look for? Can you post some examples or suggestions of what to use? Is this something you can start gradually and then work yourself up to certain things? Is the concept of freaky/kinky only physical, or does it involve certain psychological play & manipulation as well? This doesn't exactly seem like the type of learning or activity you can hire a tutor for. ;)

    So, any advice whether it's here or via PM would be greatly appreciated.

    Help us be more kinky! :noes:
     
  2. dumb_end_user

    dumb_end_user Sad Gus

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    Don't rely on props. Get your freaky on with your mouth, hands, etc. Once you get tired of those then you can jump to toys.

    Don't jump the shark. :hsd:
     
  3. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    Meaning....:o

    As I said, this isn't the side we ever explored. We have a great sex life by 'normal' standards...but nowhere close to what some people here might have, and I mean that in a good way. :dunno:
     
  4. dumb_end_user

    dumb_end_user Sad Gus

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    Mouth: Talk dirty - don't ask her what she wants, tell her what you are going to give her. Tell her how sexy she is (not really freaky, but never hurts).

    Hands: Spank, pinch, pull hair. Toss her around. Fuck her for a while in one position and then 'forcibly' put her in another.

    Mind: Get her close to orgasm and then don't let her cum. Tell her that you are going to do something that she is afraid of trying or doing (don't actually have to follow through with it, just her thinking about it will be a mind fuck).

    What is your kink? Explore that. Talk to her about in a non-sexual situation so that you can set a baseline and then go into it without abandon. It's always easiest for me to just establish what each other's limits are and then push the boundaries.
     
  5. CupidStunt

    CupidStunt New Member

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    I typed "kinky test" because I was thinking of the purity tests that are out there, and I came up with this.

    http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=8442622598748745066

    Not the best in the world, but it may give you a few ideas and I know OK Cupid is a safe website. Also does she read Cosmo? They have some great sex tips sometimes.

    My advice would be overall to start small and work your way up, don't just jump right into anything. Since the sex is already good, you have a good starting point... but it's important to start small so you don't do something one of you is uncomfortable with. And make sure that you understand each others limits. This is such a broad question because it's about what the two of you like. Whatever you are into.. feet, latex, leather, silk teddies, schoolgirl outfits.. go with it. Never underestimate the power of dirty talk. Tie each other up, spank, try every position... do a different position every time. Some ideas to start:

    1. Think of a new way to surprise her sexually, try to do something once a week that she just won't expect to give yourself a starting point.

    2. Try roleplay. Think of a scenario that you have had a fantasy about... sex with a teacher, a librarian, cheerleader, the dirty repairman, George and Jane Jetson..... whatever the hell you want.... and go from there. Try to really get into it... like do the teacher and have her spank you for being a naughty boy. Or have her be the librarian warning the naughty patron to be as quiet as possible while she slowly tortures you sexually and keeps telling you to be quiet... then "punishes" you for making noise... etc. It can go places naturally.. trust me.

    3. Excite each other during the day when you can't do something right then.. send dirty texts, e-mails, voicemails.. so by the time she comes home you are ready to rip her clothes off (don't do that if it's nice clothes though :) ) When you are together, excite each other... at the restaurant put your hand between her legs under the table... etc. Again, when you get home it will be crazy and that can go places. Or if your bold enough, do it at a party at someone's house somewhere and let her pull you in the closet.

    4. Go to a sex store or website together and get ideas of things the two of your would like to try together.

    5. Each your desert off of each other this weekend... even better while tied up. My ex would let me tie him up and I would drip ice cream on him and lick it off while he wasn't allowed to touch me.

    6. Take a regular game and turn it into a naughty game... for example, when my ex moved into his new place, we christened it by playing hide and seek with a twist. Once of us would hide, wherever this person was found is the room where we had sex, on the first (clean :) ) surface available...

    Hope that helps a bit. I didn't go too kinky since you said you are a beginner.
     
  6. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    That's a good starting point. As for 'not getting too kinky', I would be curious to hear how far some people can go. I don't have a fragile psyche, so shocking me in general isn't easy. Partially thanks to OT :o
     
  7. korrosion

    korrosion New Member

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    If you can think of it someone in fs has tried it or knows someone who has. I'm sure people on here have tried stuff even I can't imagine and I can imagine quite a bit.

    MFM with 2 midgets in a tub of green jello on a float in a parade. Now that would be out there.
     
  8. CupidStunt

    CupidStunt New Member

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    There is not a lot that I wouldn't do short of drawing blood or adding some other person to the bedroom. I wouldn't do anything I felt was unhygienic... that covers quite a few things. If it's any encouragement, I was a meek little mouse before my ex, we started out like you and your gf... mostly vanilla (yet good) sex. We started slow and got more and more into it. My ex converted his basement in a full dungeon and we we into some extreme bdsm... we weren't so serious about it though because we both switched between sub and dom. We had a swing kind of like this.. http://www.extremerestraints.com/sex-furniture_167/4-point-sling-stand_467.html and another restraint where he would hang me upside down and use toys and various other objects on me. Umm.. I am thinking of this as I type... we did quite a bit of pony play, he wore a collar and I would drag him around on a leash while we worshiped my feet, I wore body harnesses, we did quite a bit of cosplay, we did rape fantasy, and we went to a bdsm club and had sex while other people watched.
     
  9. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    Now that sounds...:noes:...kinky.
     
  10. Max Stirner

    Max Stirner OT Supporter

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    What do you like?

    Tell your girlfriend to let loose her inner dominatrix. Get some whips, alligator clips, a zipper mask and ropes and tell her to make you suffer a bit. There's nothing better than having a total role reversal and being rendered helpless by a woman who treats you like shit.
     

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