SRS help me please...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bobbarker70, Apr 30, 2005.

  1. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    at the beginning of high school, i got real depressed and got heavily into cokaine, pot, alcohol, etc. i was kicked out of catholic school my freshman year for all that, my mom and my stepdad split, and we ltierally went to poverty line poor. i was put into a hospital for treatment for bipolar and other things, and my life was quite in shambles.

    fortunately i changed schools in my dads district, kicked drugs, and took medicine for my mental illness. when i changed schools, i met the most amazing music teacher that changed my life. i got havily involed in musicals band, choir, and he helped me discover a talent i never thought i had. i got all the leads in the msuicals, and a member from the broadway theatre league saw one of my performnces and actaully gave me an award in the broadway theatre leagues stars of tomorrow program, in competition with students/kids all over the country. i also have a big stuttering problem, which i overcame by doing msuicals. local newsstations were calling my house, i was admired and loved by everyone. i made my family so proud that i finally made something out of a shitty situation. no drug could reproduce my happiness at the time.

    then i got out of high school, and things got weird. i stopped taking my meds, and at first i did fine. but then i applied late for the school of my choice so im forced to goto a community college for music ed. i hate it there and im miserable. my gf of a year, dumped me for anotehr guy, and ive started doing drugs again. all my friends are into drugs now, and all they do is pressure me to do it cause itll loosen me up. everyday i just get more and more depressed. i sleep less than 4 hours a nite. my grades are slipping. i promised myself id never feel the way i did then, and im doing it. all i can do is sit in my bathroom and cry about nothing. i smoked cigarettes now too and tis effected my singing. i dont have a license, and im unemployed. im in this spiraling circle of dispair and i cant get out of it.

    does anyone know how i can remotely get back on track or where to start? im desperate at this point. i cant live like this anymore.
     
  2. Bean

    Bean Guest

    My first piece of advice is, go to you county mental health department and sign up with them. Then, strongly reconsider going back on your meds. Explain to the county worker that you have no job, your trying to get through school, etc, and they should be able to hook you up with meds and therapy.

    Second, this is harder to do than to say, but try not to be so down on yourself. The depression your in is something I'm familiar with myself, it's an illusion. It seems real, so real nothing else matters, but don't believe it.

    If you have any more questions, I'd be glad to help.
     
  3. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Check the sticky "Do I suffer from addiction? Where do I get help?" to locate a meeting in your area. That sounds rough man, it takes courage to tell your story and admit you're having problems, sounds like you're an addict to me though.

    The bad news is you probably won't be able to "successfully" use drugs or alcohol anymore, but the good news is that there is a solution a new way of life for you, if you want it. When you go to the meeting, if you're feeling couragous, speak up and say that you are new, you need help, and would like to get a sponsor. If not, tell some people that one on one before or after the meeting. I'll be glad to answer any more questions you may have, you can IM me: animalholie

    One more thing, try to stop using Just For Today if you can, and then try that again tomorrow. Stay away from your drug friends if possible, good luck.
     
  4. Bean

    Bean Guest

    No wonder I didn't see my post...dude, you posted the same post in two different threads.

    I echo what eligh said also...don't use. It will just make things worse in the long run.
     
  5. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    well i havent used drugs for the last week or so. its soo hard sometimes not to aska friend for a little or make a call, but i havent yet. sadly, ive been somking a cigarette once in awhile to help, but now im getting on those. but i guess one thing at a time....
     
  6. Bean

    Bean Guest

    Yes, one thing at a time, but, don't trade one addiction for another either.

    Go to meetings buddy, put yourself out there for help. Call the county for assistance.
     
  7. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Well good job, don't worry about the cigarettes, it helps to ease the tension. I smoked a lot in early recovery as well. Get yourself to a meeting! It will help immensly and increase your chances of staying clean for longer.
     
  8. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    I think the most important thing mentioned here is to hit up a meeting. I don't know all the answers, nor do the people in this forum - but we know where to find them. Think of us as the Index page to a book, or a reference point. The answers to your deeper questions will be found in a meeting. Best of luck to you :)

    I'm nukegoat on aim.
     
  9. jewel

    jewel New Member

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    It is so easy to become the person you once where. Starting to regain ground on your life is always hard, we are all constantly striving for a life full of sucsess and happiness and those who arent are only wasting time and falling into dispair. On that note the first step to your new life has been taken, you recognize your problem and are reaching for help. Be proud of your self because self actulization is the hardest step. Search for help, get on med's and seek help from someone, who may become a freind. Good Luck and dont quit when times get rough.
     
  10. grady27

    grady27 New Member

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    Dude , i've been in your shoes and i know how you feel. I also got my life on track a little over 6 years ago and did awesome for more than 3 years. In that time i bought a house and had a kid. When me and my daughters mother split i began my downward spiral. It Began with drinking, then escalated to snorting coke and eventually i found myself worse off then i ever was when i got hooked on crack and was usinng heroin to come down. I never really hit a major bottom but was able to decide for myself that i needed help. I went into a 30 day rehab and cleaned myself up. I also got some meds for my depression. Now i feel better than i have in years. unfortunately i still smoke a lot of weed but im beginning to work on that as well. Take the advise given to you here. Go to meetings and talk to people. It wont hurt to get a sponsor either. Trust me you will be happy you did it.
     

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