SRS Help me make a life decision

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by redna, Jul 10, 2006.

  1. redna

    redna New Member

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    I've hit rock bottom... or at least as low as i'm willing to let myself go and I need to start making some changes in my life.

    For the most part i can make the decisions that i need to make, but there is one that I've got too much emotion tied into to make it on my own, without at least a little outside help.


    I've got 2 dogs. One is deaf and the other is her best friend. They get along like you wouldnt believe. About a year ago, i was able to handle having 2 dogs (financially and emotionally) LAtely though (as in the last 6 months) I've really been having some trouble tending to them. I find myself so stressed out that i am constantly yelling at them for donig things that dogs do, I dont have the time to train them any more than they already are, and I never pay any attention to them. I'm working most of the day and they spend about 9 hours in a kennel 6 days a week and I'm starting to have a problem with that.

    I dont want to give them away. That's what my heart says. But logic and sympathy say that they could find a better home now.

    There is no question that i can change my lifestyle and make it work with them... but it would take some serious sacrifices on my behalf to make it work. I would have to cut hours (meaning risk failure, I'm self employed), I would have to dedicate a ton of time to them (which they deserve, but i'm unable to provide) and i would have to figure out a better way for them to live.


    Now, lets throw another problem into the mix. I would like to relocate to a different state in the near future. The place i want to go (Seattle area) is a bit more expensive than my current place meaning that i would have to be able to find a place with a back yard and the accomidations for my big ass 120 lb dogs in my price range, to make it work. That's not likely. So, essentially they are making it hard for me to relocate.

    I feel like a piece of shit for even thinking of turning my back on my dogs, they're always there for me, they would never turn on me, and they would save my ass if i needed them to....

    Input please?
     
  2. illmaceyougood

    illmaceyougood New Member

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    So basically, you know you need to get rid of the dogs, but you would feel guilty if you made that decision yourself and you want someone else to do it.

    Alright, I say you should get rid of them. Your heart doesn't think, your brain does. That's its job.
     
  3. redna

    redna New Member

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    It's not that i NEED to get rid of them.. it's that i'm torn on CHOOSING to get rid of them for a selfish reason. I could make things work, but it would be much harder to do it with them along, so I'm being selfish and uncutting the strings that are dragging me down.
     
  4. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    Just do whatever is best for them.

    If you can't give them the love and attention they deserve, find them a home that will.
     
  5. Clarity

    Clarity New Member

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    i would give them away, you don't seem to have the time to devote to them.
     
  6. tie00

    tie00 New Member

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    I agree, and I think that it's important that if you do just so happen to give them away, you make sure that whoever is going to be taking care of them is willing to keep both dogs.
     
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Well why do you have to seriously cut back on your work??? Why not devote 1 extra hour a day to them?? That might make a HUGE difference in their attitudes.

    You seem to be all caught up in all or nothing thinking. You either "make serious sacrifices" and "dedicate a ton of time" or you get rid of them. It's like working out....so many ppl think if they can't devote 2 hours to working out then they'll just stay in bed. Study after study have proven that even 15-30 mins a day is beneficial.

    Why not stop with the all or nothing thinking and look for solutions that are in between the extremes??? You may find the answers you're looking for.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I'll give you the advice my dear mother gave.

    If you don't have time to take care of pets don't take them.

    You aren't a bastard if you do what is in the best interest of the dogs, namely getting them a loving home. You'll be true and honest to yourself that you can't support and take care of them, and you'll understand that loving someone sometimes means letting them go. You know they deserve better, so start looking around and try finding a nice home for them.
     
  9. JJDiri

    JJDiri New Member

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    Simple. Give your dogs to a relative or a friend who can better take care of them. It can be permanent or temporary. That way, it gives you time to sort out other problems in your life.

    If it's permanent, you will still be able to see them every once in a while. You can always find time to visit them if you love them like you say you do.

    If you're really torn and don't even want to give them to a relative/friend, I'd simply say keep them. You'll feel much more satisfied that you ran the extra mile to keep them AND sort out your problems at the same time. The juice is worth the squeeze.

    Your brain may do the thinking, but following the heart doesn't hurt. It usually leads to happiness.
     
  10. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    :hs: It is well within my own personal opinion that when we take on the responsibility of another life (be it human or animal), we fulfill the responsibilities we have towards them. I personally can't stand people who give up their dogs when life changes, but that's just my opinion. Life gets tough sometimes and we need to work through them.

    I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you make. I hope that if you make the decision to rehome them, that you take the time and effort to find a good home for them.
     
  11. redna

    redna New Member

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    Oh there is no doubt that i am goign to find them a great home. I wont let them go to anyone that isnt willing to prove to me that they deserve them.
     
  12. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    you know what I would do?
    Id pay a petsitter to come to your house and care for the dogs... give them a walk and feed them during the day. That way they'll get more attention, and you wont have to be stressed about it.
     
  13. cuttin' wax

    cuttin' wax New Member

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    He's already said that he cant take care of them for financial reasons as well... this would be a good idea but it doesnt sound like its an option.

    The only encouragement i can give to you is to reinforce the fact that there are people out there that are DOG CRAZY and would love to take your animals off your hands, and take amazing care of them at that. If you care for your pets so much, im sure that the adopter wont mind you staying in touch and coming to visit your buddies every now and then.

    Good luck, it sucks losing pets :wtc:
     
  14. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Xfer them to a friend/relative on a temporary basis. You can't give your babies away just because the going got tough.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2006
  15. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Are you nuts? :hsugh: Do you realize how many animals out there are put to sleep every year over lack of GOOD homes? It is upwards of 6-8 MILLION! Rehoming a dog, especially a large dog (I don't know what breed they are) that is not a puppy can be almost impossible if you are looking for a good home and aren't willing to dump the dog with whoever answers your Craigslist ad.

    She isn't losing a pet, she is giving up on them and going back on the commitment she made to them when she adopted them/purchased them. This isn't the same as a pet getting sick and dying.
     
  16. redna

    redna New Member

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    I'm a he..

    You're right. I am giving up on them and going back on a comitment that i took when i got them but when the difference between keeping my dogs is forclosure and 7 years of horrible credit / not being able to find a place to live because no one will take 2 large dogs, sometimes you have to think about what's best for yourself.

    Don't think I'm not upset about this. it's not exactly like i can control everything that is the determining factor here, and I sure as hell am not just giving them away because I'm tired of the responsibility.

    I could probably figure out a way to keep them, but it would be keeping them in a kennel 3/4 of their lives, with shock collars so they dont bark and get me caught in an apt, with no place to run or play or anything. Life for them would suck.
     
  17. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Forgive me for calling you a she, for some reason I thought you were female :o

    I truly wish you the best of luck in the future with them and rehoming them, and I sincerely hope that you think twice before adopting or buying another dog.
     
  18. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    I would give them away to a friend so you can still see them once in a while
     
  19. redna

    redna New Member

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    That's what I'm trying to do... I just dont have anyone that i know that will take them.

    There is a line that i wont cross and that is any place that will kill them, any place that will treat them badly, and any place that their quality of life will be less than if they stayed with me. It is very important to me to make sure they're happy.
     
  20. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    good thinking. Some dogs are not attractive for adoption (deaf dog) and the best place would be a no-kill shelter.
     

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