SRS Help me ... getting urge to call her

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Riconosuave, Oct 25, 2005.

  1. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    I dated this woman for about 2 months. It was a great two months too. I was really starting to care for her. But, she had a lot of baggage. She was still trying to get over her a shitty ex of 4 years. Well, I think her ex (who was calling her and stalking her the whole time we dated) managed to somehow get back into her life, because she suddenly just stopped calling. I'm not positive of this though. Everything was so great too. I talked with her shortly a couple weeks after that. She still wanted to be friends and said it was cool for me to call her. And I told her that I would call back. Told me she wasn't trying to get into anything serious for a long while, after what happened between her and her ex. It's been about 2 months. I haven't called her yet, and she hasn't tried to contact me at all either. I was hurt initially, but now, I'm happier than I've been in a while, yet lately, I've had the urge to call this woman up again. I know I shouldn't, but I just want to see how she's doing. I guess a small part of me is hoping that things could develop again. I know it's stupid, and I shouldn't call, but one call can't hurt, right???
     
  2. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    One call will make you look like a child, desperate for attention from mother. You will lose all respect in her eyes.

    Personally, I would never date a woman who had an ex who was involved in any way.

    Anyway, actions speak louder than words - she stopped calling you. Well, that's it - you're out of the picture. What a slap in the face. Now, why in the world would you REWARD her for treating you like dirt?

    She wanted to be friends? Great, when is she going to come over and help you fix the car, clean out the garage, mow the lawn, drink some beers and go to the strip joint? Oh, wait, she won't? Um, yeah, you cannot be friends with a woman because of the sexual tension. You can be friends with a guy because you don't want to fuck him, you want him to help you swap out your clutch.

    You're thinking like a child who lost his mother. You need to think like a man who killed a mosquito. She used you, disrespected you, and then ignored you. And you want to reward that behavior? Stand up for yourself, be a man, don't let people treat you like that.
     
  3. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Well said!

    The girl hasn't called you. I know you like her but c'mon, don't you have any self respect? Don't you think you deserve someone who actually cares enough about you that they can return the same courtesy you showed her? Or did you think that once this girl saw how great of a guy you were that suddenly she would transform into a wonderful partner who actually gives a shit about you?

    Whatever excuse she gave you about her boyfriend, or how you two should remain friends, it doesn't matter. What matters is her actions. Words are excuses. What she did was cut off all contact with you. Does that sound like someone who cares?
     
  4. getoffofit

    getoffofit New Member

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    hah..thats the best line ive read in awhile..

    listen to the man! he knows what he's talking about
     
  5. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    qft. being friends with a girl is not what you want.
     
  6. Fred91GTA

    Fred91GTA New Member

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    I agree with above. And DiggityDogg and PocoDiablo definitely know what they're talking about. Listen to them.

    And on a side note... think about this. If she went back to her ex... and you managed to win her back, do you really want to be playing tug of war? Because you can damn well bet after you get her back, that ex won't leave her ass alone. Plus, I don't know about you, but I hate women with baggage. Well, dating them anyway. Because in the end, no matter what, you'll end up being an emotional tampon. Better to date women who have no baggage or emotional attachments.
     
  7. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    I have nothing to say, as it's already been said above. Plain and simple, she LIED to you when she said she wanted to be friends. Women always do. She never called you, so it's obvious you mean nothing to her and she wants nothing to do with you.

    Sucks, but it's true.

    If you still have the urge to call her, I recommend explosives attached to your phone.
     
  8. Fred91GTA

    Fred91GTA New Member

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    Here's a good trick. If you have her name still in your cell phone, delete it. You'll forget the number after awhile. Or, if you don't, keep her name in your cell phone book, and under that name, put your best buddy's number on there. So, if you ever need to call, go ahead and call, but it'll go right to your buddy, which you can promptly invite to go with you to a boobie bar where you can stare at naked women all night. I guarantee you'll forget about your urge in no time.
     
  9. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    You guys are right! I do feel cheated and disrespected! I was great to her, and in the end, she didn't even respect me enough to, at least, call me and let me know what the deal was :( I've been partying and going out with other chicks, but damn, they're just not as hot as this chick :( Why is it that some women stay in abusive/bad relationships?
     
  10. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    because they want to

    no one forced her to go back to him, she went back of her own free will.
     
  11. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    You'll meet someone hotter, trust me. Just be sure you are single (READ: Don't date a woman who is anything less than your ideal, even if it means being single longer. If you appear "taken", Miss Hottie may pass you by!)

    One word: CHALLENGE.

    This is the basis for Doc Love's book (www.DocLove.com) and is really VERY true. Think of a woman like a cat. Does a cat play with a string if you shove it in her face? No. There is no challenge, and this is like telling her "He's so mean to you, dump him, date me, I'll treat you like a goddess!" But if you take that string and go running off across the room... she chases. So these guys are a challenge - emotionally. They are like a daytime soap opera. The woman NEVER knows what is going to happen.

    Other words that describe what makes a man attractive to a woman:

    Self-control
    Unpredictable
    Spontaneous
    Funny
    Social (Likes to go out 1-2 times a week.)
    Mysterious (Don't lay everything on the table with her!)
    Stubborn (Make up your mind and stick to it.)
    Fatherly <--- I find this one to be VERY important if not over-done.
    Gentleman
    Firm (rule setting)
    Quiet ("The less you talk, the longer you last")
    Confident (although this is more of an act for me!)

    Words that make a man unatractive to a woman:

    Predictable
    Boring
    Emotional
    Talkative
    Submissive
    Supplicating (giving in to her will)
    Passive
    Loud
    Jealous
    Insecure
    Home body

    Think about the abusive relationship. What words would you use to describe it? Scary (emotional). Unpredictable (exciting). Controlling (fatherly). Mysterious (challenge). Explosive (exciting). I'm **not** advocating abuse, because you can be all that and MORE without being abusive by being a gentleman, a firm man, a father figure. Ultimately, abusive men always lose out because they lack self-control, and woman need a man who can control himself so she can have kids. She does not want to marry a child... she wants to raise one!

    Remember, women crave emotions, not logic. Men live in a logical world. Use logic and realize that you can't use logic on women - they live for the EXCITEMENT. A bored woman will quickly leave any man. But a man she cannot have is like the string to the cat... she will chase it forever.
     
  12. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    [email protected] it. You guessed it. My pathetic self could not stay away. I hadn't been thinking about her for over a month now, but memories of her crept back into my head this past weekend. I was partying with people til sunrise Friday and Saturday, when I realized that these women that I'm partying with aren't the type of women I want to be with. Started to feel a bit down, which led to the alcohol, which finally led to me trying to call her up. One ring on the cell and I was kicked to voicemail. Didn't bother leaving a message though. I wish I would have though. Boy do I feel like a b1tch today. But [email protected], I still feel like calling her up one last time again :( Everything is all screwed up anyways, so one more call shouldn't make any difference.
     
  13. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Why the hell would you feel like calling her up one last time? So she could hang up immediately again and think to herself, "Man this loser is so pathetic that he simply won't give up!" Sheesh! She isn't interested and it's not like you two had some amazing long relationship. Move on already!
     
  14. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    Thanks for the response Dogg. You always speak the truth. The writing is on the wall, and it's right in front of my face, but why is it so [email protected] hard for me to see the truth? I keep thinking that perhaps there is that 1% chance that there is something else going on. That she will call me back once she gets her crap straightened out. I know it's very wishful thinking. I don't know why I still keep thinking about her. Perhaps it's the thought that I was the one that screwed everything up. I'm not accustomed to failure.
     
  15. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I think you deserve more than a 1% chance with someone. Don't hang around for Pam Anderson if you have a 1% chance with her. You deserve someone who knows that they want you and won't hesistate. You should never have to convince someone to want you.
     
  16. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    qft
     
  17. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I suddenly had a flashback of Dumb and Dumber.

    Lloyd: "What are my chances?"

    Mary: "Not good."

    Lloyd: "Not good... as in... 1 out of a 100?"

    Mary: "I'd say more like 1 out of a million."

    Lloyd: "So you're telling me there is a chance. YEAH!"
     
  18. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    You were right Dogg. I really was hoping it would play out differently this time :Owned:
     
  19. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    Update ... She called me yesterday morning. She said she was sorry that it took her this long to return my call ... something about cell phone problems. She wanted me to know that she hadn't forgotten about me. We talked briefly, but we talked as if nothing bad had happened in the past. She asked me to give her a call later on, which I will do. Perhaps there are second chances .... :x:
     
  20. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    lol i love that movie.
     
  21. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    Don't call her.. what is done is done.. she obviously hasn't made an attempt to call you in 2 MONTHS.. then you two are in a 2 month relationship and out of the blue she just stops calling you and says she doesn't want a serious relationship.. isn't that enough of a sign that shes NOT interested? Obviously, this has something to do with the ex.. being together for 4 years will put more interest in him rather than you especially because what you two had wasn't for very long. It is not in your best interest to call her now or anytime because you will more likely end up getting hurt.. as much as you believe you won't, you will. I'm sorry.. I don't believe its worth your time to put effort and time into something that can end up back firing or having the same thing happen once AGAIN.
     
  22. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    Cell phone problems = could be real could be a lie.. but most of all - I call BULLSHIT. She could've still called on another phone, not talk to you for 2 months and then all the sudden gets in touch out of the blue like that. You know what!? You were the back burner and as much as it is hard to accept it.. things did not work out with her and the 4 year ex that took her away from you right below your nose and now, shes going through shit again probably with him and you're the guy she hopes she can use as her REBOUND. YOU WANNA BE THAT SMUCK?

    Don't waste your time with someone who doesn't show respect.
     
  23. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    beat me to it

    tell me, if YOU had cellphone problems, would YOU wait for two months before calling her? Or would you find another phone and use that?
     
  24. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    This is 100% right. If you keep running right back to her everytime she throws you a bone then no wonder she can treat you the way she does. You shouldn't put up with this and you shouldn't run right back to begging for scraps of her attention.

    Grow a backbone, get some self respect, and ditch the broad for good.
     
  25. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    We never actually broke up. We were only dating. She never said she didn't want to see me again ... we just ran into a few problems, and she needed some time. I didn't call her for two months (on the flip side, she never called me either), and decided to call her up a week ago. She sounded happy to hear from me, and everything seems ok. We're going to meet up again soon, although I'm starting to think this might not be the best thing to do anymore. I'll be fine though :x:
     

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