SRS Help me find SOMETHING v.iamfailingatlife

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Panoptimist, Feb 12, 2006.

  1. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    I'm 17, a junior in highschool. I'm a very impulsive person and my lack of self-control does not help my cause. I began to fall into what you could call depression at the beginning of this school year. Over the summer, I spent over a month in Germany, and had the best time of my entire life. Everything worked out so well there, but when I came back, shit just started going downhill from there.

    Now, I can't seem to find interest in anything. Just thinking about going to school is painful for me. The relationships that I'm forced into with my teachers and peers kills me. I don't know why I've become so down about everything, but everyone describes me as an angry person. My negative attitude is destroying my parents, and I know that in itself should be enough motivation to change, but I don't even know what's going on with my own life. Nothing seems worth anything anymore, and I've lost interest in everything. On the weekdays, I just come home from school and sit on the computer. On the weekends, I go out with my friends and just get drunk and high. I know that isn't helping my cause, but it provides for an escape. My parents just want me to be interested in SOMETHING. I snowboard, and I work with an adaptive skiing program on the mountain, but I've been snowboarding less and less this year. I haven't been in a couple of weeks. It used to be my passion. I don't enjoy sports at all, except maybe volleyball. I'd play that if there was a school team, but guys volleyball isn't common in highschool. I used to play trumpet back in middle school, and I was in the jazz band. I dropped it when I started highschool though. My dad keeps talking to me about bringing it up again, but I just have no motivation to do so. It doesn't interest me. There's gotta be something I can do that's interesting and would make my parents think I'm actually doing something. I can't figure out why everything sucks, but it just does. This year has been a downward spiral, and I can't seem to pick myself back up, only knock myself down further. Fuck, I have so much school work to not do, so that's all I really have to say. OT, give me some ideas?
     
  2. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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  3. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Yes le goals are key. Goals will keep you going. In the mean while you could try finding a job. That will give you something to do when you have nothing to do, and also take away oppurtuinities for you to do drugs.
     
  4. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    Yeah, I really want a job. My mom didn't want me working a job because she didn't want to have to be giving me rides, but I'm getting my car within the next week or two, so the first thing I am going to do is apply for a job. That should take away much of my sitting around time. I think it's just that I have too much time on my hands to think.
     
  5. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    You want motivation? Get a job. A bullshit job where you are treated like a bitch from assholes who couldn't find their own name in a phonebook.

    I'm serious.
     
  6. Vailripper

    Vailripper Daywalkers have feelings too.

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    Amen...I was considering dropping out of college, picked up this shitty ass job painting houses over the summer and it completely changed my outlook. It helps you see the world in a much clearer light, instead of just the picture that you have of it.
     

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