SRS help...girl advice

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ruckutopa9, Dec 12, 2005.

  1. ruckutopa9

    ruckutopa9 New Member

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    Ok I'm gonna keep this short and sweet, I'm goin on a 1st dinner with this girl(we've been out to lunch twice). Now I'm gonna go get her and she wanted thai because she said japanese food was too expensive but im gonna act like im driving to the thai restaurant but in actuality im gonna take her to the japanese restaurant and surprise her. Now thats the 1st part but I kinda wanna make it known that I like her but I'm not really sure if she likes me so my question is how can I show her that I like her? I was thinking of getting 1 rose and just give it to her after dinner when we walk back to the car and say like "Merry Xmas..." I'm sure she'll be surprised....but anymore ideas people?? :wiggle:
     
  2. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Step 1: Stop dating. Step 2: /yourself for your idea.

    She will not like you more if you do something 'extra' for her. In fact, if you really want her to like you... do less.

    What you are communicating is that you need to suppliment your personality with expensive dinners or gifts. YOU should be the date, not the restaurant. Want her to really like you? Do this:

    "Hey, you know I changed my mind. We aren't going to the restaurant anymore... you're going to cook me something special at your place. I'll pick out the wine and show up at 6:00. Oh, and make sure to wear those cute jeans you have, or I'll take myself to that McDonalds near your place instead." Seriously.

    EDIT:

    If she agreed to meet you, she likes you. The fact that she is still talking to you means you still have a chance.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I think your approach is all wrong.

    If you really want to advance things, you might want to stop losing sleep over the "which restaurant" smoke signals and just go to wherever she wants to go. If that is in fact the jap place, fine, it's not like you're taking her to the moon. Personally, I'd leave it at the Thai place, and split the bill.

    DO NOT, however much you're tempted, DO NOT whip out your wallet at the $$$ place and lay down a bunch of cash to "treat" her thinking to win her over that way.

    So go to the thai place, be cool, and talk about your relationship. Forget the preplanned 1 rose thing too.

    I see that you want to make "romantic" moves, but are too scared to come out and actually do them, so you disguise them.

    You propose taking her to the better restaurant, but keep it a secret.

    You propose pulling out a romantic red rose, but then hide that fact, and then water it down with a fake "merry xmas" message, because you can't bring yourself to say what's REALLY on your mind.

    Come on. You're not fooling anyone, and you're not winning points from her this way.

    Being romantic is in the attitude, the chemistry, the smiles, the shared laughter, the sexual sizzle between the two.
    You can do that at ANY restaurant, without ANY PROPS (no rose).
    In the end, it's just about YOU and HER. That's it. That's all.

    Focus on that, and stop obsessing about which restaurant, and lose the pre-scripted moves and bogus props.
    Focus on being real, on being there, on being present and in the moment.

    That's what gets girls wet, not the fact that you brought her to a sushi place.

    Good luck.
     
  4. ruckutopa9

    ruckutopa9 New Member

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    hmmm very good advice, I think I'll scratch the rose plan, and just take her to the thai place and split the bill, cause I dunt think shes impressed by money heh...plus I dunt know if this is a real date date or just dinner, we'll see. Plus I should keep this one cool if I wanna ask her out again next week..heh..maybe then I'll take her for sushi.

    btw..I suggested thai but she wanted sushi but I recommended sushi at a better restaurant and she said that was too much but I said that I asked you out and I recommended it so I'm gonna treat you as your xmas gift. does that change the whole plan?? maybe Ill scratch the rose plan but do the sushi plan, help me im confused....
     
  5. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Indeed. +1
     
  7. toeshoes

    toeshoes Guest

    flowers + great foreplay = fantastic sex
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Alright, since you're clearly new at this...

    Look, I know you REALLY want to treat her, but don't.
    And although you seem to acknowledge that the choice of restaurant shouldn't paramount, you insist on upselling into the nicer place thinking it will somehow sweeten her feelings toward you.

    Ok, in some girls, yes that sort of thing does work. But I'm advising you to stay out of that trap.

    Don't pay for her meal
    Don't take her to the mucho $$$$ place offering to "just be a nice guy"
    You're volunteering to be a schmuck.

    I don't know if you're being friendzoned with her, you haven't talked about her at all, but in general what you are wanting to do is what a lot of guys mistakenly do.

    You're not even dating, and already you're thinking to basically bribe her with dinner? That MIGHT be acceptable if there was going to be several hours of hot sex afterward, but I don't think you're going to make a move on her. Maybe after a lot of time you might hold her hand later that night.

    So don't worry so much about the restaurant.

    Here's your game plan.

    1. Go to the restaurant she suggested.

    2. Forget the rose.

    3. Smile and talk a lot with her.

    4. Joke with her, but not in a gee whiz "little brother" way.

    5. Do NOT try any phoney "smooth" playa type moves.

    6. When the check comes, don't grab for it immediately. Just set it aside for a sec. She will (if she's cool) say oh here, how much is it. Anyways, just split the bill. There's no need for you to pay it all, and actually that works against you on a pre-date non-date like what you're doing. AFTER you actually start dating, you can do otherwise. But not yet.

    7. Be POLITE to the wait staff. A cool confident man is actually man enough to be VERY POLITE and VERY COURTEOUS to wait staff. Say thanks when they refill your water glass. Not in a "oh gosh geewillikers way". Just a polite nod and smile to acknowledge them.

    8. The only thing you should pre-plan is think a bit about what you want to do after dinner. Be prepared to change plans on the fly if she wants to do something else. Don't be fussy.

    9. At whatever post-dinner activity you choose, put your arm around her.

    10. Towards the end of the evening, if you haven't already done so (and for you, its likely) then hug her, tell her you had a great time and KISS HER. Doesn't matter if you feel awkward, just DO IT. It sets the tone for your interaction.

    11. Make plans to see her in a day or 2 or 3 whatever works for you both.

    Good luck.
     
  9. ruckutopa9

    ruckutopa9 New Member

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  10. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Whether you have lots or little money is irrelevant at this point.
    What I'm getting at is that it is INAPPROPRIATE for you to treat her to a lavish dinner in the hopes of currying favour that way.

    Can you do it? Sure, if you really want.
    Do lots of guys do it? Yep. All the time.

    Is it in your best interest to do so? In my view, it is premature, at this point. Therefore my advise that you hold off for now.

    You got lots of moolah burning a hole in your pocket? Great.
    Buy a new leather jacket. Or save up and get a new ride. Or whatever.

    save the "treating" for AFTER you actually start dating.

    And good luck. Remember to move things forward.
     
  11. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    You're coming on too strong, do the thai and perhaps a rose. Still, this relationship might crash if you appear too enamored with her.
     
  12. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    i would do the original sushi place she mentioned

    otherwise listen to johan
     
  13. ruckutopa9

    ruckutopa9 New Member

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    well i was..the plan was the original sushi but she canceled on me so im goin to go out with a cxoupla friends, her loss, heh..STRIKE 1!!!! hehehehh
     

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