Help! Baby's mom moved out.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by SovietRussia, Mar 16, 2005.

  1. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    ok, so i have a baby with this girl. we broke up before he was even born, but we still talk, but almost always about our son. but the other weekend, i was talking to her before she broght over our son, and i was goofing around with her so i know i can still make her laugh. :) she told me she moved back in with her mom, which i took as she and her new boyfriend had broken up. should i try and get back together with her and start the family that i feel i got cheated out of?

    we havent been together for close to 2 years, and i feel like i have moved on as much as i ever will, but there are still a couple feelings for her. what should i do? :hs:
     
  2. REEPER

    REEPER New Member

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    Well if you think you'll be happy together with her, it couldn't hurt for the baby to have a "normal" family. All that remains to be seen is if the mother wants the same thing.
     
  3. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    true, but i dont know how to find out without the possibility of anything getting 'weird'
     
  4. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    go back and be closer to your son. at least do it for your him.
     
  5. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

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    Make an attempt.

    If you guys are on each others ass all the time, oh well. At least you tried.
     
  6. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i know. but how?? we dont talk except for when we 'exchange' the child.
     
  7. ImDrunkAgain

    ImDrunkAgain Resident Mental Health Counselor

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    I think that you should go back with her, maybe move in with her, be with your kid more often. maybe this time around you guys can work around the small things that could have caused the break-up in the first place. You have probably wised up since the birth of your son, and you can handle more things that will be thrown at you.
    Go back to her, make her happy, be close to your son
     
  8. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    Do you want to be with her? If not absolutely 100% yes yes yes, then don't do it.

    You've got it fairly good right now with seeing your son, and he's always known things this way. Think what it would do to him if you moved in, then moved out. Pleanty of kids wind up just fine in the situation you've got right now. Drama is bad for babies.

    If you just want to get back with her to get closer to your son, I hate to say it, but you've done missed your chance at that. It isn't fair to her, you, or the baby.
     
  9. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    thats all well and fine, but its not like i can just pack up my things and show up on her doorstep. i need help on how.
     
  10. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    im not 100% sure either way. and my son is only 1 year old, so i dont think this will have much effect negatively. i dont know though.
     
  11. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    um talk to her about it??

    Next time she comes over talk about your relationship. Ask questions about hers. See if she is interested?

    You can have a kid with this chick, but cant have an adult conversation with her? I mean just approach her, ask her if she is interested and tell her how you think it would be good in the interest of your child. How old were you 2 when she had the child?
     
  12. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i was 22 she was 20. i would just talk to her, but its hard because im shy :o and if she is not interested, i am worried it might get akward.
     
  13. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    If you are trying to be with her for some alterior motive, and you guys break up again, you could see your son a whole lot less than you do now. :(

    You can become closer to her though, just talk to her. You have a child together, surely you can find something to break the ice over...

    I just don't want you to be with her "for the kids." That is so hard, hardly ever works, and bleh. Just not good.
     
  14. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    but i dont know how to "break the ice" we havent really had a real conversation for the last 2 years.
     
  15. Lou

    Lou New Member

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    hmm, why not invite her to have lunch or something with you and for her to bring along your son. If nothing breaks the ice, your son will and you'll have talking point from there. Take it slow and allow time for your feelings to develop again so you really know what you want.

    :dunno:
     
  16. Big Red

    Big Red New Member

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    well honestly i would think it should just be the two of you. because if you do gather the courage to bring up your idea, if she gets upset, you wont have to worry about it affecting your child. Just a thought from me.
    And personally i would never be with a man just because we had a kid together. But that is just me. I know many people who did get married bc the girl got pregnant but i didnt and we are alot better off than if i would have settled for my first borns sperm donor. God i had such bad taste when i was younger.
     
  17. Chemo

    Chemo New Member

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    why use age as an 'excuse' for having a kid............your not 17 and dumb,well :o :mamoru:
     
  18. Hey _____ Lately I have been thinking about us, our history, the good times we shared and the bad... But mostly I've been thinking that I would like to go on a date sometime and see if these feelings I've been having about us have any substance to them? How do you feel about me? Aside from our baby, do you ever miss the good times? I know we had a bad history, but we were young and I think we have both matured somewhat since we broke up, and I guess I always was left wondering 'what if' when it came to you, and 'what if' when it came to a real family and life with you.

    ???

    Profit
     
  19. pacent

    pacent For Teh Nguyen OT Supporter

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    For what reasons did you break up with her in the first place? Are those reasons still going to be an issue if/when you get back with her?
     

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