SRS heartbroken

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by greenm&m, Sep 5, 2005.

  1. greenm&m

    greenm&m New Member

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    :wtc: How do you heal a broken heart? I've lost the only good thing I had in my life. For 2 years i was with someone who loved me and cared for me. And for 2 years I did that and more for him. Now, we're not together,we've been broken up for 2 months. I'm trying everyday to get through it, not thinking of him, staying busy. It's so hard, and sometimes I don't know how to deal. He, well we, need space and time from each other. I'm doing my best. I'm not calling or trying to see him. But I feel so empty, and lonely. He's my soulmate, and now that he's gone, I feel like a part of my soul is gone, and it will never be the same. I am getting help for all the problems I have, improving myself for me. But he can't see that, and so I feel like he will never be my best friend again, let alone ask me to work it out and come home someday. I just want to know that he cares, that he loves and misses me, yet I have this horrible feeling deep down that he doesn't and I can't bear to think that. I need help. I want to get through this, i need advice how to make this easier. I wish him happiness and peace and success. I just don't want to know he's living a better, happier life without me. And when he talks to me, he's angry, he talks to me like i'm his enemy, like he never loved or liked or cared for me. Just the other day he treated me like so. Like he doesn't care about me or my problems; i'm not his problem anymore. That's the worst feeling in the world when someone you love, and who loved you for 2 years of your life treats you as if you mean nothing to him. I just hope he realizes his mistake and that he lost someone that was amazing and who he said was his soulmate, best friend, and the only woman he could ever feel truly comfortable and himself around. I hope he realizes that he's hurt me, and when he has time to heal, he can apologize and see where he went wrong. I hope he knows i would and did everything for him and more. I was his biggest supporter and now, by his choice he's alone. I guess my point is, that this isn't how i wanted it to end or how to be. That i want to know how to feel better about this. If anyone has any advice, feel free to share it.
     
  2. D

    D A guiltless state of self awareness.. The process

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    What happened? Why'd you two break up?
    Other than that, I'd say keep making improvements for you. Honestly, from the sounds of it, you're doing it for him.
    Time heals those wounds, but not if you're pining away for him.
    If you need closure, he might need it too. Carrying all that anger around isn't healthy. However, I'd wait before trying to contact him again. Sometimes when the feelings are still so new it's painful for two people to talk to each other. Making closure impossible.
    In the meantime, try to get through one day at a time. :hug:
     
  3. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Time. It just takes time. I know you are in what I call Soul Pain about all of this and it is all consuming (been there). Stay busy. Don't like your pain take over your life. Perhaps some day you two can sit down and talk...but not now, everything is to fresh. He obviously broke up with you for a reason and sounds like he stands firm on his decision. Acting cold is his way of dealing with things.
    Just give things time.
     
  4. MikeYOX

    MikeYOX May 2000 account: DELETED :(

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    Do something to pimprove your self esteem. This person is not a part of your life anymore, and you have to grow now and rise to the occasion. You may feel like you have lost an arm or a part of you, but that hole you feel inside yorself can grow back to making you a wonderful happy woman again.

    As far as the way he treats you: You are broken up. What do you expect? You were both in that relationship for 2 years, and you were both hurt. Guess what? He's not going to have a rosy attitude about it. He's a man, and right now he may be hurt, pissed, frustrated, etc etc. He's not going to greet you with a sing-song voice and bring you a bouquet of flowers. Chances are, just the very sight and memory of his loss brings him anger and pain, and he is not going to want to deal with that.

    You need to step back for a while, and give the both of you time to heal. Maintaining contact with him is not going to make you or him feel better, because you are both just opening up the wounds you got when you 2 broke up.

    You canonly depend on yourself and your friends and family to help you get through this situation. Things with him are over and you need to get on with your life. I wish you luck. :)
     
  5. greenm&m

    greenm&m New Member

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    well i am doing much, much better, and i dont think about him very much like i used to. It is getting much easier. I dont miss him that much anymore, maybe im really getting over it.
     
  6. MikeYOX

    MikeYOX May 2000 account: DELETED :(

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    Maybe you're just moving on with your life. ;)
     
  7. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    good job :)
     
  8. rookie

    rookie New Member

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    time is the key. don't dwell on what you've "lost" (even though he seems quite the dick) - forge your future.
     
  9. greenm&m

    greenm&m New Member

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    Hahaha, thanx, he's not a dick on purpose though, shit got messed up and people react the way they do. But i am moving on, and i know that it will be ok. Thanx everybody for the advice, it has helped, appreciate it.:)


     
  10. okita1

    okita1 Great spirits have always encountered violent oppo

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    there is always 2 sides to a story
     
  11. rookie

    rookie New Member

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    true and I went with the side i heard.
     
  12. rookie

    rookie New Member

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    :) Glad to hear it.
     
  13. greenm&m

    greenm&m New Member

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    I see what you're saying, but his story would be the same as mine, i havent said anything that isnt true, i know what i have done wrong and he would agree with that, and vice versa.


     
  14. greenm&m

    greenm&m New Member

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    I am so fucking through with even talking, thinking about him. God it is so over. I am tired of him talking to me like i am crap. So forget it. I'm glad i'm alone, at least i dont have to put up with his shit on a daily basis.:madfawk:
     
  15. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I wish you would have said exactly what drove you two apart. I don't understand why this guy is mean to you if you had such a great relationship. There is a big piece of this puzzle missing.
     
  16. greenm&m

    greenm&m New Member

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    i dont really want to get into, i mean i wanna talk about it, but i want to keep some things private. Well to make things so much better, i found out my grandma died today and when i asked if i could go talk about her he was just being a dick. He was like i dont want to talk to u, we need space, except that he had been calling me to come over and stuff and call me. And he doesnt like talking to me right now. Then he tells me that his friend is trying to hook him up with a girl, which im not mad at that, i just didnt want to hear that after i found out that my grandma died. He was just being a dick, so i was like fine dont call me anymore, and u should just figure out ur feelings and when u realize what you've lost, maybe i'll be there. I told him that if he wanted to be all alone than he will be and to not call me. He's just fucking hurtful and he doesnt care. So he'll realize he misses me and wants me back but i wont be there. i'm done. So thats that.
     
  17. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I don't buy it, there is something missing here. One minute the guy is telling you to don't talk to him and that you need space, and then the next minute he is calling you to come over? I'm wondering what his side of the story is for this, but based on this much information alone I woudl simply say that you need to get a grip on yourself. What the hell are you doing continuing to talk to someone who messes with you like this? Sheesh! Is it really so hard to figure out?

    Still... I don't like giving advice to women as much because women are usually looking to vent or to seek sympathy rather than to seek a solution. Plus, the story is generally so ridiculously one sided that I never completely buy their story. Sorry, but this has always been true with all of the friends and relatives I have ever had with women. I'm better with helping men because they seem to be more apt to accept the help.
     
  18. greenm&m

    greenm&m New Member

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    ok whatever, i'm not really looking for your opinion. Thanx, but whatever, not that big of a deal. Believe what you want, i respect that, and i see your point, i do.

     
  19. playful kitty

    playful kitty Cougar-In-Training

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    Move on. Mixed messages will get you nowhere. You've already spent two years of your life trying to figure this guy out; that's too long. I know it's hard, but look forward.

    You say that this guy is your soulmate, but let me tell you something. In my many years of experience in relationships, I've discovered more often than not that you have several potential soulmates out there. There's no "one person" for everyone---there are actually many, many people with whom you might be compatible. You just have to go out and find them. As much as I hate to boil it down to statistics, it's a numbers game. The more people you meet and get to know, the more chances you have of finding somenoe else who meshes as well or better with you than this guy did.

    Good luck. :bigthumb:
     
  20. greenm&m

    greenm&m New Member

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    Hey thanx, i have been thinking that too, that maybe he isnt my soulmate, cuz my soulmate wouldnt be a fucking dick. And there are many people out there. I'm moving on as we speak. Thanx.


     
  21. playful kitty

    playful kitty Cougar-In-Training

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    Glad to hear it. :)
     
  22. greenm&m

    greenm&m New Member

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    thanx for all the support everyone, i am very happy right now, i am dating a few nice guys, so things are looking up. My ex really is a loser.:bigthumb:
     
  23. Bear Klaw

    Bear Klaw Guest

  24. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    :)
    Remember nice guys are awesome!

    Good luck with everything!!

     
  25. HyPE

    HyPE ::OTTC Crew #2839::

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    wow, almost a year old thread. wonder how she's doin?
     

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