SRS Having to break it off with a girl?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by sexhaver420, Jan 31, 2008.

  1. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

    Jul 18, 2004
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    Lately, this issue has been driving me nuts, it makes me feel bad, it makes me feel like an asshole, it makes me feel guilty.

    I started being friends with this girl back in september of last year. I didnt immidiately like her but I kinda grew into liking her. She was kinda fat so I always had a hard time being attracted to her. She was very chill in the beginning before she grew into a controlling demanding bitch. She was very sweet in the beginning, a very chill friend. She was a virgin and wasnt the flirty type at all but she was into clubbing. In the beginning I SORT of liked her, but she made it very clear that she didnt like me... at that point I was like "Wow, how can she not like me, I bet I can get her to like me." But I also didnt really care that much. We grew into good friends, then eventually we got close,touchy and cuddley. At that point I really liked where we were, we hung out twice a week for maybe a total of four or five hours.

    Then me being the horny male I am I wanted to have sex with her... and we did (I took her virginity). Then she started spending night after night after night at my house. It was still chill, she cooked awesome food. Then she started wanting a relationship.... and me not wanting to accept being with a fatty I was like "uhh no" I cant date a fatty.... but just her being a fatty wasnt valid reason to drop her, she could still change, she could lose weight, besides shes very nice and I like her (a little) and she likes me so I saw no reason to break it off with her.

    After she talks to me about a relationship and I say I dont want one (I also had another girl in my mind who is attending college out of state.) she starts to pressure me and do the bitchy "you should call more" "you should text more" "why dont we do x anymore" "why dont we do y anymore" After that it just went all downhill. I grew sick of her. She became even more demanding, more controlling, more bitchy... and thus I became more of an asshole, I cared less. I didnt even care about being with her and I wanted to break it off but I didnt wanna be an asshole.

    Til one day we had a big arguement, we just spent the night and I woke up early in the morning to get somethign she left at her apartment which is 25-30 minutes away so then I could drop her off at home because she had work that day. Then as were 30 minutes away, she says "I wish I could spend today with you too" and im like "uhh... me tooo" but she knew I had plans with my friends that day to watch the game and work on my friends car. She then calls in sick to work. I was like "WTF I DIDNT ASK YOU TO DO THAT" and shes like "but you said you wanted to spend the day with me" then I explained "well it would have been nice but we both had other plans today" then she said "next time say it" then I said "If I didnt say it then you'd bitch at me for not saying that I wanted to spend the day with you. That day went even further down hill as when she went home I went on the computer to post on OT. She didnt like that was trying to indirectly get me off the computer but I really didnt care and I just fuckin woke up early in the morning on my day to sleep in so I could drive her around for an hour and a half. I wanted to relax on the computer/do jack shit for the morning. And Eventually she packed all her things from my house. And then she asked for a ride home and she didnt say one thing the whole way there. When I went on AIM I saw "I hate you" "i missed work for nothing" "see if you ever see me again"

    Of course she came crawling back.... and I want to let her down easy but everyone tells me its impossible. I want to still be her friend (because she's a nice person) I want to be there for her emotionally, I dont mind being her tampon or crying shoulder but I just dont want a relationship with her. I already told her I dont wanna be with her and that it wouldnt work out... but she keeps asking if i wanna go see a movie or go over to her appartment and eat the food she cooks. And she still tries to start conversations with me.

    Is there a way to put a girl down slowly, easily, not make it hard? Everyone is telling me the only way to do it is to be an ass and dump her but I dont wanna do that.

    Became friends with fat girl, but she said she didnt like me. I wanted to get her to like me, just kind of to see if i could
    We first became good friends, then close friends, then emotional and cuddley
    Then I got horny and fucked her (took her virginity)
    she pressured me for relationship, from then on out became bitchy and controlling
    she eventually snapped, swore shed never talk or see me again and I felt relieved
    she came back and i explained to her it wont work but shes still trying
    I want to break it off with her easily. How can I do that? People tell me it cant be done and that I need to just accept that I cant be nice while dumping her.

    sorry for typos/grammar/errors its late and im tired/stressed
  2. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

    Jan 7, 2007
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    THE Hawkeye Nation
    lol. you are an asshole.

    stop answering her calls. then she will get it. best way is a clean break, just disappear.

    edit: Shes fucking crazy too. RUN RUN RUN AWAY!

    you are still an asshole though. nothing wrong with that. Been there; done that.

    you are under no obligation to take her back and owe her nothing. you dont have to call nor do you have to answer when she calls. delete her from facebook/myspace/block her aim/ make your myspace private/ etc etc etc
  3. Anudist

    Anudist Turnin' Jesus on, one lightswitch at a time.

    Dec 17, 2007
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    Mormon Central
    Yep, that's a virgin for ya... she doesn't want to feel used or trampy so she's clinging on to you. You don't have to be a dick about breaking it off and CAN be a friend to her, but just realize that she's just going to keep pushing a relationship with you and the camels back will eventually break. Or, you can break it off clean and tell her flat out that you won't be answering her text messages, AIM, or phone calls and that it's best that you two just don't see each other any more which is probably the best option for both of you.
  4. Ladybug

    Ladybug Guest

    You don't have to worry about dumping her, you've already dumped her. You've told her it won't work and she's going to have to accept that a relationship needs 2 people who want it to work in order for there to even be one.

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Jun 22, 2007
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    Let's find out if you have a real reason to feel these things. Don't worry I'll be brutally honest. I promise to focus on the "honest" part more than the brutal. Though I suspect it's going to be incredibly difficult from having read some of your cliff notes.

    Red flag 1: You had a hard time being attracted to her. This violates rule #5 and #6:
    • -- Never Settle. Settling down with one partner is fine, but never settle on anything that compromises your integrity when finding her. Appearances, goals, attitude - she must be compatible with you, so don't fit a square peg into a round hole.
    • -- If you're not interested for any reason in her, don't debate it, don't empathize, don't pity her, don't explain it to her -- simply end it with tact and walk.
    The second red flag: Controlling. Violate rule #8 and #9:
    • -- Be ruthless in cutting off losers, users, pro-daters, abusers and women with low interest, and low self esteem. Hard to imagine, but some women will date you even if they don't like you much. As long as they can tolerate you, and you're paying...hey it's a night out to them. Learn to cut them off.
    • -- Red Flags Avoid these people with these patterns: Abusive parents, abusive ex-husbands, abusive ex-boyfriends, alcoholism, drugs, talks about ex on first, second dates, negativity, disrespectful, controlling, confuses you, arrogance/condescending, Cheated in past, self-centered, Breaks Dates, Makes excuses, lies, cusses a lot, No Class, Inflexible, Distrusting, Bitter, Nags, gossips. Women who say something, but their actions and body language reflect different signals. Women with low self-esteem, fixated on money, or have psychological problems, or psychiatric problems. Remember, life isn't fair. I personally fall into some of these areas, and I'd expect a female to be ruthless in cutting me off too if she felt I wouldn't be a good mate for her.
    Ok, whatever.

    Violation of rule 6 above. You acted disrespectful cruel, and lack tact. You violated another rule yourself.
    • -- If you hope, hope is needy. Women don't appreciate needy.
    • -- Have class:
    • Always show respect from the beginning to the end of any relationship, even if the woman is being a fool.
    You created this, it was your responsibility to act accordingly and with integrity. You did not.

    Too late.

    You behaved like a fool. Inconsiderate, as well as selfish, and self centered. You shouldn't be shocked that she responded like she did. while made errors by tolerating someone like you, you're still responsible for your behavior, which quite frankly was pathetic.

    With a friend like you, who needs enemies?

    You are profoundly arrogant as well as immature.

    Because you were being a coward, you didn't simply say what you wanted clearly or concisely. Let me give you an example:

    Her: But we can work this out, I care about you.
    You: I do not want to continue our relationship.
    Her: But why?
    You: Because it's not what I want.
    Her: I don't understand...
    You: I'm hanging up the phone now.
    You: *Click*

    No there isn't a way of putting someone down easy. The most direct way between two points "Relationship ----> No relationship" is a straight line. You simple say "I do not want to be in a relationship with you anymore. Goodbye." Be polite, be respectful.

    You don't know how to do that apparently. It is in your best interest to start treating women like human beings, because I assure you, you will reap what you sow.

    Men with integrity are direct and keep things simple, they don't go to their friends asking "Oh how do I break up with this girl?"

    You already know the answer, you're just too much of a coward, and thus by being indirect you show even more disrespect. If I was her, I would have stood up long ago and hung you out to dry, but then again birds of feather do flock together so I suspect she's just as disrespectful in her behavior as you have been. Therefore she got what she deserved too -- something which was terrible. You.

    I see a lot of suffering in your future. You better get that character of yours repaired, it's quite damaged.
  6. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

    Apr 4, 2007
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    Cut off all contact with her immediately if you positively don't want her in your life at all, which by the sounds of things would be good for her. She obviously hasn't processed the fact that you do NOT want a relationship with her and she will keep on trying as long as you give her a smidge of attention or anything. Just cut off contact altogether. It will get your message across to her and ease your head. Let us hope that she finds someone to like her regardless of her size and that you have learned something from this.

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