SRS Having sexual relations with a girl at work

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Necromancer, Sep 12, 2009.

  1. Necromancer

    Necromancer Guest

    Started a few months ago, I told her we should stop for professional reasons, work got stressful, we started messing around again and now it's become a regular thing. We both take the job very seriously (and it's long term) while being key 'players', neither of us are probably going anywhere else anytime soon.

    I feel like it makes us less professional and have been contemplating on telling her we need to stop for good and get SO's or something.

    Has anyone else been in this spot and successfully got out of it without hurting the other person or their profession? :o
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Never stick your pen into the company, always seperate bussiness from private affairs. It'll do you a world of good.
     
  3. PC

    PC Active Member

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    Been in your position. We ended things on good terms, but as soon I started seeing someone else it was too much for her. She ended up leaving.
     
  4. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    This will not end well for you. Things will get awkward. Tell her you can no longer continue this sort of relationship with her. Its gonna suck going back to your hand, but it'll be better in the long run.
     
  5. freckleface

    freckleface expose the raw nerve and get on with our lives...

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    Well the hubby and i met this same way only difference is we fell in love. I got 2 promotions before we had our second child. After that i did resign to stay home with my babies! I am more than welcome to go back anytime in fact they would love to have me. He has had several promotions and is now in a very high profile position. I think the key as far as HR standpoint is neither of you can be under direct supervision from the other! Now on the other side neither of you can bring your relationship to work :) Good luck!


    I should add that we knew right away that we would have kids get married ext... We were not just having casual sex.
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2009
  6. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    i would not mess around with a co-worker at a job that you care about.
     
  7. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    what's the point of stopping now ? It's going to get awkward anyway whether you break it off now or later, might as well enjoy it for as long as possible. Are you really that naive to think that if you tell her now "that's it let's be professional", she'll take it normally and will be able to act as if nothing happened ?
     
  8. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    I disagree. If they're both working there for the long haul, better to end it now while it's still a fling than an indentured relationship that's preventing them from finding SOs. Also, the OP thinks it might be a risk to his career so the sooner it ends the better for both of them.

    I have no advice on how to end things or mitigate the awkwardness. I ended up marrying the guy I started seeing at work. :mamoru: (I'm still working there but he left years ago.)
     
  9. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    The old saying "never mix business and pleasure" isn't just a cliche.:bowdown:
     
  10. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    This isn't a long term thing with the company for one of you unless one of you gets transferred. It's a huge mistake to have this kind of a relationship with someone when you are both relatively high up, see each other with any frequency, and are both planning on sticking around.
     
  11. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    I would tell her that it's important that you keep your work life professional, and that if your relationship starts interfering with work, then that will be your sign to end it. If you two can manage to have some fun without it interfering with your work life, then go ahead, have some fun
     
  12. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    this

    Some people can make it work I don't believe in that saying don't shit where you eat, if both are you are happy and making it work for now why not continue? You should both be on the same page that you don't want it interfering with work though if she's not its time to end it.
     
  13. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It's not a great idea, but it's not automatic fail either. It is possible to navigate this.

    Really depends on if you're the kind of person with the inclination to roll the dice (face it, there is some element of risk) and the capability to steer the ship where you want to go.
     
  14. Necromancer

    Necromancer Guest

    Hey everyone, thanks for the words. Sorry I can't reply to all of you but all your words have been taken. We agreed when we started that we would be able to call it off anytime for any reason sp hopefully she won't take it the wrong way.

    I'll talk to her soon about it.
     
  15. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    It might be doable (pardon the pun), but ONLY if you can treat each other like regular employees between the hours of 9am and 5pm (or whenever you work). Some people have the discipline to completely separate their personal and professional lives, others don't. Only you know if you're one of them -- but the fact that you feel like it makes you less professional is a hint that you probably can't do it.
     
  16. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    i follow this.

    i have had 'relationships' at the workplace before. too many people end up knowing your shit, and that is a :nono: for me. of course i didn't really care because i didn't intend on staying long anyways.

    since you're already having sex with the woman, why don't you see if you can work it out? just out of curiosity, how often [times/week] do the two of you have sex?

    if she's becoming more flirtatious at work, then you should pry end it before she thinks the two of you are in a relationship.

    i would deal with this situation delicately because if you cut it off and she gets pissed, get ready to have your dirty laundry aired out for the entire company to see!
     
  17. #surreaL

    #surreaL New Member

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    This happened to me as well so I'm going to side with the majority here and say end it now. I was removed from my position, no questions asked and he was booted shortly after.
     
  18. woot

    woot wo

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    A few things to consider:


    How much do you like or need the job?

    How often do you see her at work? Same team, department, floor, etc?

    How hot is she and how good is she in bed?

    You probably know the risk/benefit already.
     

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