SRS having difficulty moving on

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by cooldragon, Nov 4, 2006.

  1. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    I am having a lot of trouble moving on from this crappy relationship. she was basically my first crush my first relationship my first everything but everything basically fell apart. i went on vacation, come back and find out that she doesnt want to talk to me anymore cause i didnt contact her during my vacation. she finally contacted me after almost 3 weeks and didnt explain anything to me and acted like nothing happened.
    i was completly amazed at how u can forget somebody just like that and not care at all. i tried to get ane explanation and she gave me some reasons like her parents not letting her out, and having her on lockdown which i dont believe. she then says she wants to be in a relationship again and i just could not believe her reasons or any of what happened so i said no i dont want to be with her anymore.
    now the problem is she got a job in the same area where i work so now i see her almost 3 times a week and i just dont want to talk to her or see her. it kills me to see her. i dont know why i just cant move on. i am having difficulty finding other girls and i have no other girls that i am even talking to.
    i want to run away and avoid her at all cost but i think thats chickening out. i just dont want to think about her anymore, get my life back together and find someone else becuse this is eating me up
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Basically she was just making exuses and didn't care. And its not the way to go, but for now i think it would be better if you didn't care and push her out of your life, and make exuses to get rid of her. She's just another girl, it didn't work out, but you still have to go on living,

    you will continue to live no matter what happens, so might as well make the best of it. Really bury this issue and move on. You see the problem is that you must not allow your brain to be emotionally involved with her. You need to act as a castle gate, close it for bad people/things/events, and open it for good people/things/events , that way you should be able to push her out of your life.

    Yeah i know you can't stop thinking about her without feeling emotionally hurt, But this is because you went into the relationship thinking, its going to work out, reality is that a relationship doesn't have to work out just because its your case, reality is that a woman can pack her bags and leave anyday. That's why you shouldn't go into a relationship thinking it will work out , which is what you did, which was wrong. If you realise that, then you can let her go emotionally, you can always love her, but you can't hold onto anyone.
     
  3. BlaXicaN

    BlaXicaN OT Supporter

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    Communication is one of the keys to keeping steady relationships. I learned that the hard way from my recent first too who was with me for 7 years. Everytime she had a serious problem I didn't know cause she wouldn't really express it or she'd tell my sister and not me :ugh: Like you, I wasn't sure exactly why my gf left; and after a while I realized her answers were constantly changing or just... very vague. She sounded heartless and careless about it too, at least a whole lot more than I did. I was the hurt one like you.

    Your situation is tough because you are forced to see your ex still. That makes it very hard to get over her completely in a reasonable amount of time. How long were you with her? It may take a while but you need to somehow try to communicate with other girls. You will feel better. I'm not the type to initiate like that either but I have been and it's been working wonders. Try to get some hobbies; keep your mind busy.

    Darketernal made some good points like about jumping into a relationship expecting it to work. We both messed up there, but just take it as a learning experience. If you expect things to work, you become too comfortable with the girl and things can quickly go stagnet and result like it did. And in the end, you have to realize that now she is just a girl. You didn't lose anything; there is nothing wrong with you. You just learn from your mistakes and move on. If anything she lost something. You have your own individual life; just live it.
     
  4. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    well she came up to me and talked to me on my break today and told me shes going out of the country for a month for winter break and brought up how she wont forget the people here like "someone". we started arguing about this and she says " i am not the type of person who brings up the past and whats done with is done with. i pointed out thats she started it and she rambled on. she then proceeds to call me from work and calls me when she gets home but i dont pick up.

    i am glad and sad that she will be gone but i think its for the best. i think it will make it easier for me to move on.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    When someone starts an argument (gives a spin to the wheel of hatred) be sure you don't participate it, by answering hatefull(in which you give another spin to the wheel of hatred) if you both continue arguing then the wheel of hatred will keep on spinning forever, you can only stop the hatred by loving her and letting her go.
     
  6. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    How long were you on vacation? How did you find out she didn't want to talk to you when you got back?
     
  7. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    You failed the test. She treated you like garbage and disrespected the relationship, and then she tested you after 3 weeks to come back and see if you'll still take her back. And you did. You've pretty much told her that she can do this to you and you'll still take her back. That's a bad lesson to be teaching to someone like this.
     
  8. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    we were together for almost a year and broke up 2 times in between. the first time i moved on but went back to her for some stupid reason. i never really enjoyed the relationship and it sucked pretty bad the whole time. she calls me or hangs out when its convinent for her and wont care if shes busy with something else.

    I keep falling for her and i hate it. it pisses me off. i cannot let go and the thing is i keep thinking about the things that i did wrong to mess up the relationship and how she treats me horribly. i cant stop thinking about her

    i told myself i would slowly lose contact with her but for some reason my heart takes over and my mind just fucks up. i went on break with her yesterday and we just talked and again i get those same feelings back. its such a big crutch that kills me and stops me from concentrating on other things.

    another problem is she will probably never be completly out of my life. i know her brothers really well, i know her parents, my parents know her parents and i will always run into her somewhere.
     

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